AIBU wanting to speak to local people?

[PinkSnowAndStars]

I love AIBU, and I probably abu... but please be gentle.

But even though ive posted on mumsnet local a few times, (ive namechanged since) but there doesn't seem to be any remotely local people on there that reply!!

I'm finding that now my DS is nearly 2 (on thursday!!) its harder to get out and meet people at baby groups as everyone seems to have their little groups of friends, and on here, no one seems to really use mumsnet local.

I'm just feeling a little lonely!!!!!!

Where abouts are you?

Aww YANBU. Where are you chick?

I'm in Aylesbury (Bucks)

How do you all do it? I know people with 2,3,4 DC get out and manage to meet new people but I just seem to be a little bit of a loner and stand out at baby groups... when people don't talk to you, you just eventually give up going!!

I found with groups you need to be brave and take the initiative. If you introducey yourself and don't get a positive reaction then you don't want to know those people.

You could volunteer to arrange a MN meet up in your area?

I really only re-established a social life when mine went to preschool, found a wicked group of mums at the school gate.

I can't wait until he starts pre school! I work 3 nights a week & that doesn't help as I'm sleeping saturdays, mondays and fridays. and the groups ive tried on a tuesday and thursday aren't great. I know I need to try and get out there more, its just hard when your confidence has been knocked by groups of mums.

If groups of mum's are a bit hard to break through to, how about you go to soft play places when they are a bit quieter. Often there are other mums that are happy to chat while you are both refereeing the ball pool. There are loads of other mum's who are intimidated by mum and baby groups and they have to be somewhere, you just need to find them.

Sounds like your MN Local is as moribund as ours . When I tried, I only got three responses, the nearest of which was still more than 12 miles away.

yy to getting chatting while supervising play. Just say something like 'they're all so gorgeous at this age aren't they?'. No parent's not going to find that a nice thing to hear, and it might spark off a bit of 'yes, and it's amazing watching them learn new stuff or similar'. People like being complimented, although they sort of blush too, but they like being complimented on their children even more.

Disclaimer - do NOT do this if the parent you are talking to appears to have given birth to a small thug... wait until there's a mother and child who seems to have the same type of attitude to parenting as you do.

I only really got comfy with Mummy-friends when we established that getting wet and muddy was good and excessive hygiene was bad. And that the world did not come to an end if you had a glass of wine while still EBF. Bottle, no, bad idea - but one glass?

Absolutely wait for someone with a similar parenting approach, my stupidly friendly approach to life once got me stuck chatting every day at the school gates to a mum who had assumed I was single (who knows why) and every day would talk about the "snooty judgemental family types" I eventually made OH do a pick up with me because I couldn't find a polite way to tell her she was talking about me.

Try a toddler music group maybe - the social interaction is "supervised" so you can't find yourself sitting alone in the corner while others chat.

I met most of the local parents I know in the village playground (play park) and then invited them to dd's 2nd birthday party, still talk to most of them 6 years on - not big friendships but people to chat to/ exchange minor favours/ recommend other groups etc.

I'll be very honest, I didn't really make new friends as such until my kids started school. It seemed much easier - everyone in the same boat, same homework/ uniform panic

Have you tried any other parenting sites? I do believe that some of them have a very active local bit