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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Does an 8 yr old need an Ipad?

37 replies

Catrin · 19/11/2013 22:22

ExH and in laws want to buy her one for Christmas.
My opinions:

she hasn't asked for one
her friends don't have one

Their opinions for:

it is a cool thing for a kid.

I reckon kids can live without stuff like that. Especially as mine likes books and dolls and Mr Maker and cooking and playing schools. SHe wants a new bike and a manicure I have said that if they want to buy it, their money, their choice, it is entirely up to them, but it will have to live with either him/them. Apparently, this ruins everything…
So. AIBU? Prepared to hear I am, but don't think I am!

OP posts:

KeepingUpWithTheJonses · 19/11/2013 22:25

No one NEEDS an IPad.

Then again, no one NEEDS dolls. Or any toy for that matter.

To buy an IPad that she is not allowed to have at home though? Fairly pointless IMO.

My children are 5 and 3 and getting a HUDL each for Xmas...not something they've asked for, or something they need. It's something they will get huge benefit from though.

DameDeepRedBetty · 19/11/2013 22:26

yanbu. Eight year olds might LIKE one, but they don't NEED one.

Sounds a bit Disney from your ExH, if the rest of her cohort don't have them yet.

KeepingUpWithTheJonses · 19/11/2013 22:26

Why don't you want her to have one?

needaholidaynow · 19/11/2013 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bananananacoconuts · 19/11/2013 22:28

My 7 year old has an Ipad. However, he asked for one last Christmas and talked about it all year until his Birthday when he received it. He's a real techno geek and so really appreciated and uses it. My rule of thumb for gifts, (especially expensive ones) is ensure it's wanted!

bigbuttons · 19/11/2013 22:28

no one NEEDS an ipad!

milbracat · 19/11/2013 22:28

Well, if she likes cooking...
www.wimp.com/dadipad/

(helps if you know a little German)

SaucyJack · 19/11/2013 22:29

YANBU, especially as you can get considerably cheaper tablets that'd be fine for doing what an eight-year-old wants to do.

MerryMarigold · 19/11/2013 22:29

I think loads of 8yos, my ds1 included, would LOVE an ipad (and we are not a techie family at all). Don't see why it has to live with them either. It's just another toy. As long as time on it is regulated, I don't see why it's any different to a doll or bike...if there's something else she'd rather have, I would let them know, and then leave it up to them.

Sounds like you don't like exH or PILs and are just trying to spite them. Even the wording of this thread title is designed to get people to say, "Of course she doesn't need an ipad." No. Kids need parents who co-operate. It's silly to have a fight over this and make it into an issue.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 19/11/2013 22:30

There are loads of free educational apps that she could use, but nobody needs an iPad

justgirl · 19/11/2013 22:30

YANBU. I want my babies to be babies for as long as possible!! the longer they can go without the technology the better IMO. Although, thats not to say that if they really wanted one, i wouldn't buy it for them....I probably would, I just feel its unnecessary to force it upon them x

MerryMarigold · 19/11/2013 22:31

I meant I don't see why she can't have the ipad at home.

Canthaveitall · 19/11/2013 22:31

Yanbu. Why not get her to write a list of what she wants and show them. I have just bought a tablet for my 8 year old as she wants one. I didn't buy an iPad as its too expensive . I admit I was hesitant as it somehow feels wrong at this age but she really wants one and doesn't play with dolls etc. She knows she won't get anything else though.

KeepingUpWithTheJonses · 19/11/2013 22:33

I want my babies to be babies for as long as possible!! the longer they can go without the technology the better IMO

Well if using a tablet signals the 'end of being a baby' - you have until they're in Nursery.

Both of my dc started using an Ipad regularly in Nursery, just after turning 3. It's a major learning aid in many schools now.

wlv12 · 19/11/2013 22:33

My 7 year old has an iPad donated to him by a charity due to his SEN/ASD. It's a really useful educational resource and as he travels further than local children to his special school, he can also play games/watch movies on it.
However, it seems silly to buy one for her if she's not even asked or interested in one?

MerryMarigold · 19/11/2013 22:34

Just a warning. We bought a cheap tablet for ds1 and it is rubbish, so I wouldn't go down that route.

I have several very 'cool' parent friends who have family ipads, mostly for their kids - and they are parents who watch v little TV/ have no TV.

I really don't see the issue unless it means she won't get something she'd prefer. But I really can't see how she won't love it. Every child I know from 2-30 loves an ipad!

Jinsei · 19/11/2013 22:38

Of course she doesn't need one, but yabu to say she can't keep it at home if they buy one.

If you have genuine reasons for wanting her not to have one, then have the guts to be transparent about these reasons and ask them not to buy one. If it's just that you don't think it's the kind of gift you'd choose, then butt out - the gift isn't from you anyway. It would be mean to let them buy her one and then stop her from enjoying it.

NewBlueCoat · 19/11/2013 22:43

Very few people need an iPad. And I speak as someone whose 9 year old dd1 has had one for over 3 years now. We have just upgraded hers to an iPad mini, and so dd2 (6) has inherited the old one.

I don't understand why you would ban one from your house though. Do you regularly not allow things that your ex has bought for his dd into your house? Seems an odd thing to do, tbh.

you would be perfectly within your rights to set screen time rules in your house, but to abslutely state 'not in my house' over something which is not dangerous, illegal, woudl bring a lot of pleasure (and educational opportunities), and is just a fun thing to have is extreme, imo.

And owning an ipad doesn;t mean the end of other toys, or playing, or being glued to a screen. dd1 will get (and love) a remote control car for Christmas. dd2 is getting lego (and ds will seize the moment while they are occupied and engrossed with new toys to do his 16 month old best to sneak some screen time ).

Original poster

Catrin · 19/11/2013 22:47

Oh, mixed opinions..
I am not trying to be arsey with ex and ILs. My point is more as someone said, she does not need to be bought, she is an immature 8 yr old who is not yet at the stage of wanting an Ipad. THey are of the opinion that it is a great asset for a child, but both ex and xFIL and v tech minded, so are very into their gadgets. I agree it would be a great present, but I had thought it would be a more 10+ present.
She has access to both my work one (ipad 1) and his (ipad 2) plus a computer. SHe uses these for games (iPads) and school research (computer).
Many thanks for opinions though. Appreciate that as I did not consider this appropriate I am probably being a bit biased against.

OP posts:

mumofbeautys · 19/11/2013 22:53

if you asked my 4 nearly 5 yr old ... yes you do neeeeeed one !! lol

Jinsei · 19/11/2013 22:57

Well, I guess I wouldn't view a manicure as being particularly appropriate for an 8yo , and I reckon she'll get a lot more benefit from the iPad.

If she already has access to your iPad anyway, then it might be a bit of a wasted present. Does exH know that she uses yours?

NewBlueCoat · 19/11/2013 22:59

if it is genuinely a case of you thinking she wouldn't be that fussed by it, then maybe the way to tackle it is to suggest something she would really like?

or, talk it through with them, and mention that you are worried she might just leave it to one side, and so it is a bit of a waste. they might have plans on using it with her, if they all enjoy tech stuff - there are some amazing apps and projects that can be done.

if they are that techy, they might just be seeing it as a rite of passage, and would liek to be the ones to give her this pleasure (as they see it). if they can afford it, and it isn't going to sit around neglected entirely, is it really such harm?

justgirl · 19/11/2013 23:00

keppingupwiththejonses - I have a 4 and a 3 year old..the older being in school full time....so i'm not unaware of the learning benefits of technology! Myself and partner are big tech users and both of mine have previously played on my ipad and they enjoy it....I don't think its a problem, I just merely would see no reason for them to own their OWN ipad at 8years old, especially if they hadn't even requested one! I would prefer for them to be playing like children "used to" as opposed to being glued to an ipad/games console or whatever. Everybody is so quick to nitpick on this site :-/

somewhereinessex · 19/11/2013 23:00

My DH bought them for our 7 and 8 year old DS - supposedly for "educational purposes" and he fondly envisaged they could do lots of maths and word games on them. This hasn't really happened as they are addicted to various games but the ipads have been very useful on long drives to the south of France although I have been subjected to endless and tuneless renditions of every song from Horrible Histories which my DH had downloaded for them. I'm the only one in our house who doesn't have one and I'm not getting one for Christmas.

hiddenhome · 19/11/2013 23:02

Ds2 just got one for his birthday. He doesn't need one, but they are lots of fun

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