The reasons I love my child are not to be banded about in public

[Suz1e2]

Hi, when picking up my 18 month old from nursery the baby room manager said that they are asking all of the parents to write a letter to their children, saying why they love them. The nursery staff are then going to read it to the kids and put it in their learning journals. The thing is, I tell my boy I love him all the time, but I don't understand why I have to write it down for the nursery staff to have a look at! And isn't it a bit weird that they're going to sit the children down and read out the reasons their parents love them? If I don't write something gushy enough, would my child feel less loved than the other kids? The children are all under 2 so I'm tempted to think that this is actually for the staff to enjoy rather than them. I'm private by nature and don't think it's appropriate to put me in a position where I have to spell out my feelings to a room full of strangers (even if half of them don't understand!). What's going on here? Is this normal behaviour for teachers? I think I'm going to have to politely decline... Or should I get over myself and do it?

YANBU what twee shit your Baby is only 18 months old like he really wants to sit (and understand) why some nursery nurse is reading him a letter about his mummy loving him!

rhubarb says it perfectly :o

I would ask Peter Andre what to write!

I’d do it but I’d be rolling my eyes and thinking how ridiculously gushy and saccharine it was that you are more or less forced to publicly tell everyone why and how much you love your child. What’s wrong with a bit of finger painting?

:o beachy

OP send your toddler to nursery in a bowler hat tomorrow, tell staff that he's English and has no need for public outpourings of emotion. Unless that emotion is quiet irritation.

Yanbu - but i dont think there is any harm in doing it. Although, i can understand as i would worry excessively, whether mine was good enough or not.
I used to worry about those facebook status "i love my children more than anything" or "susan proudmummy rogers". Because i didnt do it lol.

MammaTJ - We have been asked to do family trees...

I'm not normally a delicate little flower, but I'd find it really instrusive, nosy and insensitive for this alone. E.g. my family is really, really small apart from the We Shall Never Speak of Them parts of my family whose names I don't even know. My dad doesn't even know who his father is!

OP, try to channel the spirit of Lewis Carroll (Jabberwocky) and write a load of nonsense. I have comprised a small list of options for you:

1. "I love you, because you're dinky addle-woo..."
2. Toilet humour version: "I love you, because you widdle-piddle poo..."
3. Dubious version: "I bleedin' love you, dear chubby child, for you are FUCKING AWESOME..."

They won't be able to read out the last one out without censorship, then you can legitimately complain they have interfered with your freedom of speech and artistic expression.

But, yeah, in all seriousness YANBU.

I can't see the issue with a family tree, and things like family photos. They provide a good discussion source for nurseries especially when children are too young to start the discussion themselves.

It also helps them understand the family dynamics, and know when the child talks about x that is it their cousin.

Put your heart and soul into it. 10 pages, both sides. Include a huge latin verse (i dont suppose it has to make sense). Or are you fluent in kilngon? You will be popular.

I think it's really nice to have links between home and nursery especially at toddler age. They are probably going to 'write back' to you in their nursery Christmas card. The nursery sounds caring and proactive rather than nosy.

It will take you 5 mins max. You don't have to say anything private.

Dear Baby
I tell you every night, when I tuck you up tight
I love you
I tell you every morning, when I've finished yawning
I love you
I tell you every day, you know what I will say...
I love you!
All my love forever
Mummy x

See how hard was that?

I think family tree is a good activity really

Not for my DD3 it wasn't when school asked us to do this when she was in reception. My family are not safe to be near children so I don't want my DD even knowing about them at a young age and her dad's family are just not bothered about her, including her dad. So just me and her two sisters on her family tree

I can see that a family tree could be a nice activity for some children but I wish that schools/nurseries would provide an alternative activity too.

The image I see is all the nursery workers reading these heart felt letters to toddlers sat completely unawares uninterested eating the chocolate spread out their hair, picking their nose and little timmy taking that moment to poo very loudly lol

I would refuse. I would find it embarrassing and twee, and not meaningful in any way.

I would also have serious issues with family tree work. I was more than happy to tell Nursery staff that DC have an Aunty X and Uncle Y and twin cousins that they see a lot, but family trees are an issue. Which family would I put down for DCs' GF - birth or adoptive? Both are part of their lives. And would I include Z who is significant in terms of biology but has no part in our family life due to complicated MH, religious and ethnic issues? I would find it intrusive and uncomfortable.

Please use Tunips line about genes being replicated. It made me laugh out loud

But all that issue is always going to come up throughout her time at school, surely you should be encouraging her to understand that families come in all shapes and sizes and that its the love that matters?

My sons father never features on any family trees we do for nursery, and I can't see that changing anytime soon but that doesn't mean that I don't think they should do things which involve talking about families/fathers.

I think this is a lovely idea actually, i tell my girl i love her all the time but i have no problem everyone else knowing either, i think its a lovely thing to put in their learning journals and OP i think you are taking this way out of context.

That's what I do Sirzy and I can get away with that when it's just immediate family that we're talking about. On DD's family tree there would be just me and her 2 sisters and she's old enough to compare this with her peers and ask questions about why she doesn't have grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. In reality she does have these relatives but I'm not prepared to inform her of that yet because of the safety issues involved. When she's older and more able to understand then I will tell her if she asks but not now.

If the task at school was to do a family tree or draw a picture of your family then she would draw the picture. It would make a difficult situation much easier for me to handle.

I love you because you shit on that nursery workers car :)

There are no reasons why I love my DC and my DGC.

I just do. To bits.

But there's loads of reasons why I like them.

YANBU

A lot of us don't wish to participate in this kind of twee emotional incontinence.

Well I work in a preschool and have children in primary as well and Ofsted are currently very big on links with parents, children understanding themselves as part of a community and all that sort of thing hence the family tree type activity which my DD's have also had to do. Tricky for me as I only have one parent and no other family at all. However I do think you're overthinking it a bit, just do something generic and maybe a bit funny. If you refuse it will put the nursery staff in a difficult position, but by all means explain your reservations, they need to know what parents like/dislike.

I'm actually very in favour of the family tree thing.
I think it's very helpful for teeny tiny kids to get the idea that all families are different and not necessarily your typical hetronormative set up.

My dds family tree would have dd, me and nana but in not ashamed of that and dd would almost certainly not be the only child with a similarly scant tree. Some kids tree would show 5 brothers and sister, 5 aunties and uncles, 25 cousins etc but I actually think its very helpful for kids to figure out stuff like this when there wee 3/4?

I would also struggle with the 'why I love you' but think its great that nursery are trying to link up the separate parts of a child's life

The family tree thing is even worse. What about kids who are in care or who are adopted?