To think people should stop to ask if i was ok?!

[coldwater1]

Ok maybe its because i am so embarrassed! Lastnight on the way home from uni it was dark and wet outside, i am 38 weeks pregnant. My bus decided to terminate early meaning i was left to walk to the next bus stop in the rain to catch my other bus. As i was walking on the wet slippery leaves my legs went from under me and i ended up sprawled across the pavement on my side. I sprained my ankle and have hurt my ribs and arm, baby seems to be fine though. The streets were packed with people and cars stuck in traffic but not one person asked if i was ok. I ended up limping to the next bus stop in tears :( good old London folk!

Yes, they should have done but the majority of people only care about themselves and don't give a damn about anybody else. I hope you are OK now.

That's dreadful :( but I think you were unlucky.

I fell down a flight of stairs at Clapham Common tube station in rush hour (a truly shining example of the horrors of people) when heavily pregnant and I couldn't move for people trying to help, one even accompanied me to hospital and called DP etc for me.

Regarding the seat on a bus/train thing, you need to ask, most people are wrapped up in listening to music, reading paper or book etc.

I hope you mend soon

Yanbu. I fell in glasgow while pregnant with ds1 at 36wks, badly twisted my knee. Before I knew it someone had helped me up, someone from a shop brought out a seat and someone else called me a cab to take me to a and e.

Mind you when I have fallen not pregnant and not drunk no one has cared or has been so old I should really be the one helping them

I always make the effort to help if I see someone fall.

YANBU, although it really isn't a London thing, I've found people friendliest to me there (I collapsed on the street- three Londoners basically saved my life and apparently about ten people called 999 or so, due to a brain haemmoraghe I had, in London) I think that in the dark and rain, people get worse I've only ever found support when pregnant or when I had a prm too.

Croydon isn't London

and anyway, those on this thread having a dig at 'Londoners' as if everyone in the whole place was the same is pretty silly. There are examples on this thread and all over MN of kindness in London and rudeness in other places.

I hope you get well soon, OP, and that's good news that the baby is fine

Well greater London. We are a London Borough.

I don't think it's about London so much as it is about the number of people around. It's been demonstrated that the more people who can see someone in trouble, the less likely that any of them will help.

bystander effect

If nobody else is around, or the moment one person breaks out of it and goes to help - everyone else flocks round.

It must be strange to be the only person in Croydon with good manners OP...

I'm in Croydon.

I have good manners. I think. I must be rude without knowing it

Firstly, glad you and baby are ok OP. What a horrible experience.

Sadly I found this to be a London thing too - though Revels makes a good point.

Last journey by train to the north, heavily pregnant - tutted at breastfeeding by various men in suits at Kings Cross, no seat on the tube despite my husband actually asking various people outright, pushed and shoved on the escalators.

Get to Leeds - 5(!) people asked me if I needed help with my (relatively small) bag and all stood back to let me board the train I was switching onto first.

Also had a friend on crutches who fell whilst using the tube - she lay on the floor at the bottom of a flight of stairs and people stepped over her. Hideous.

It's not "Londoners", it's a social psychological phenomenon called "bystander apathy" or "the bystander effect", where the greater the number of people present, the less likely people are to help a person in distress. Interesting psychology but no help to people like you, Coldwater Hope you're OK; a sprained ankle hurts like hell!

Oh poor you. Hope you are both ok?

YANBU :( Poor you :( I would pop into the hospital just for a quick listen to the placenta if I were you but I am a super worry wort

The same sort of things happen in Stockholm, a man collapsed because he was diabetic and his blood suger was low, his wife was really frail and trying to hold him up, all the people around them just ignored them :( I dashed over and helped her lower him to the ground, they didn't have anything sweet withthem (which I realise was a mistake, but these things happen!) I went up and down a packed comuter train asking anyone if they had anything at all slightly sweet, people ignored me, a young man said no sorry, I have nothing, on my way back down the train (having had no luck despite asking probably 100 people) I saw the man eating a mars bar, I explained the urgancy and he gave me the mars bar, it wasn't idea, but his wife rubbed some of the chocolate into his gums until we got to the next station.

Best of luck over the next couple of weeks, my ds was due on the 8th of december last year, it's such a magical time to have a newborn snuggly baby :)

Tbh, I wouldn't help if I were on my own on a dark night in a less than savoury area. I'd be too worried that it was a scam and someone would try to grab my handbag as soon as I was off guard.

Maybe I'm sensible, or maybe I've read too many chain emails claiming to originate from 'a police source', I don't know. But I wouldn't risk it, I owe it to my family to keep myself safe.

Yanbu. A few years ago I fell in the street outside a residential area, only my boobs stopped me smashing my face open. An elderly lady walking her dog came rushing over to help me. I would always, and have done several times in the past, stopped to help. And I'm a londoner. Hope you and baby are ok.

Woo - Well, let's hope it's never you or a member of your family that needs help, tbh.

I don't think it's necessarily London - I live in a small town and nobody would bother in that situation. I fell down some steps a few months ago and no one came up to help. And as Woo says, people have been known to do things like this as a scam. Also I have heard about people helping then being sued for doing something incorrectly and causing further problems.

Actually, WooWoo my friend helped a man who'd fallen over. Looked about 30, in a business suit, fell over and looked very in pain. We came over to help and he made a grab for her briefcase and ran off (empty handed as it happens). Sadly people do do that

Some dreadful stories here. It really makes me cross and sad at the same time.
Hope you're feeling better now op.
My 2 pregnancy experiences are-
Got on a full one decker bus, there were no seats left but no one else standing. I walked to the back to make space for others who'd get on. The (female) bus driver shouted down the bus 'are you alright? Do you want to sit down?' I mumbled I was ok out of embarrassment but no one on that whole bus bothered to offer me a seat.

Another time I slipped on spilt food in tescos. I told the checkout woman who just basically went 'meh'. My bump was obvious. I was so taken aback I again said nothing .

Those chain emails are so fucking annoying, combined with the media they breed paranoia and fear.

I didn't say i was the only person with manners where i love, although sometimes it sure feels like it! I was bought up to offer seats to pregnant ladies, elderly, disabled and parents with small children. I would not hesitate to rush over and help someone, esp a heavily pregnant lady, if i witnessed them fall over! If i see anyone looking like they are struggling i would offer a hand. I helped a lady off the bus with her pram last week, might as well as i was standing while everyone were sitting!

I have to see the consultant in the morning anyway to discuss my induction but i'm sure all is ok, just me that took a battering.

*where i LIVE even.

I fell over at 38 weeks pregnant on a busy street in Liverpool at lunchtime. I was mortified as I just fell over my own feet and landed splat on my bump. A group of bystanders got together to haul me up... I wanted to die, run away and hide all at once - mortifying isn't the word

What a horrible experience for you. I hope you are OK now. Sadly it seems to be luck on whether you meet people who are kind and will help or meet people who are idiots!

I've always been quite lucky in London. Where I live I have seen people stop on two separate occasions to help homeless people who were in a bad way. One looked like he was drunk and had fallen over and asleep. The other was a lady who has some sort of back problem and so can't stand up straight. She was shaking and in quite a bad way. I've also called an ambulance for her before as I was concerned.

I did have a mixed experience though. Getting on a bus at Euston I had a couple of carrier bags, it was busy and I bashed a lady. She was so vile to me and shoved me into the road in front of the bus. I twisted my ankle and although it didn't hurt a lot, I was quite shaken. I couldn't stop crying and ended up having a panic attack by the end of the bus journey. Most people just looked awkward and one woman offered me a tissue but when I got off the bus I stood against a wall looking really quite unwell and it was clear I was having a panic attack. A nice male jogger came across, helped me get my breathing back in order and stood with me until I'd calmed down.

I've been very lucky to have always had help when needed although when my nana had her stroke one lady was reluctant to help because 'she got herself ino that state...' nana had begun to slur her words and so appeared drunk, but luckily we could see what was really happening. I'm sorry you didn't get the help you needed, fwiw im a Londoner and if I had seen you I would've helped!