In asking GP for 2 weeks off work

[currentlyshattered]

Have NC for this.

An elderly relative is hospitalised and frail and elderly and lives 250 miles away. For the last 3 weeks DH and myself have been up and down to support them. We both work full time and are shattered and exhausted. We both work FT in demanding jobs. We are the only relatives and NOK. I have already used up 5 days of annual leave and have none left. This has been going on for three weeks and dh and myself are like ships passing in the night its one up and one down and we are both very stressed and are finding it difficult. There are some really worrying issues about this relatives safety and it has become apparent that they have been befriended by someone recently who has been excluding other long time friends and taking on a carers role in quite an inappropriate way. Money and belongings are missing from the home. We have notified the adult safeguarding teams and need to be much more involved with our relatives care and discharge planning.

AIBU in going to see my GP to ask for a sick note for 2 weeks to get relative home and safe whilst not having to worry about work issues.

I feel sick most of the time, not sleeping well, tired and stressed.

I have never had a sick note before so am unsure if its reasonable or not to ask and what I should say to GP. Have an appointment this evening. Its a group practice. I don,t know the GP and am rarely seen there.

I'm sure the GP could write you a note for exhaustion/stress

Hope everything's okay x

Sorry it must be so tough now dealing with this.

Not sure though it would be reasonable though.

You could ask, but frankly it sounds as if you want it for the convenience not because you are genuinely sick or ill. You mention your own health in barely a single sentence. Unless you have a very sympathetic GP, or are prepared to lie about the severity of the impacts on you, then I fear you may not actually get a fit note, as you do sound fit to work.

can't you ask the company you work for for unpaid leave? Or can you come to an arrangement that you make up the time or work from wherever you are going to? Thats what I did when my relative was ill. I've never heard of someone going sick because a relative was....but i vaguely remember some legislation saying that people should have time off for sick relatives.

you might not want to hear this at the moment......but what are yours/the relatives plans ongoing? Are they going to be frail for some time, and in which case would it be better if they moved nearer you into either a hospital or care home? You can't do this on a LT basis - all the travelling i mean

I am certain a GP would be very sympathetic to your needs. Not unreasonable at all. Talk to your GP and see what he/she can do to help you. If a sick note is not quite the right approach, a written letter from the GP may be a solution.

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants/your-rights

here - i thought you were allowed time off to look after dependant relative who's sick.

I don't understand why your GP would sign you off sick when you are fit, and they can't see the ill relative.

Does your work place offer any sort of compassionate leave in the contract?

If you are wanting the GP to sign you off sick you will need to focus on your stress issues and then the only way round it would to be signed off with stress or similar as a diagnosis.

I really don't feel well enough to work at the moment. I'm sorry if it sounded like this was all for my convenience but thats not the case.

I really do feel sick (nauseous), hypersensitive, guilty, tearful, unable to cope with minor problems (broken washing machine) headaches and palpitations. I am having sleeping problems and waking with bad dreams and flashbacks to my fathers death. I feel that these are all related to the worry of relative being potentially abused in their own home over the last months.

In my job (caring profession) I have to deal with the public and give 100% of myself in helping others with their health and social problems. I really feel unable to deal with anyone elses problems at the moment as ours feel overwhelming. My Manager is generally unsupportive and distant.

For what it is worth I am a GP and in your situation would certainly be willing to sign you off work for a reasonable shortish period eg 2 weeks to be reviewed if you then still were struggling. I would use the accepted term "family related stress" on the fit note. Which seems to be what you are describing. So go and talk to your GP, if you tell them the way you are feeling I am sure they will be sympathetic too. I hope things settle for you and your relative.

Thank you to the helpful posters on here.

I saw GP yesterday and they were very understanding and sympathetic and agreed that I need time off to get this situation under better control and were happy to give me a note for 2 weeks. I was really impressed with the GPs caring and supportive nature. I certainly didn't lie to them.

I am very pleased I went as I was falling to bits . Now I can focus on my relatives problems and looking after my own family and myself better in this difficult time.

I am a GP and would suggest that you self certify for a week but would be reluctant to sign you off. It's actually not allowed by the DWP to put stress on a certificate, though they often go through. Sorry, but this should be annual leave or compassionate leave.

you're legally allowed time off to look after dependent relatives in an emergency. I'm sure this would count.

only thing is, it's unpaid.

so it sounds a bit like the real reason you want to be signed off sick rather than taking emergency leave is so that you get paid? If so then it does seem a bit unreasonable*.

it's not really sick leave - if you were really too ill/stressed to work then you'd also be too ill/stressed to do 250 mile journeys and look after a sick relative.

clearly your GP is more sympathetic than me though

*only a bit unreasonable, because arguably there should be paid leave to look after dependents in an emergency, so you're only getting what should exist anyway.