to be upset with my mum

[Fairy1303]

My life is going through some changes at the moment.

Things are very bad at home and I am considering, quite seriously, leaving my husband.

I have been thinking about it for some time now.

I don't often tell my mum things, mostly because she doesn't deal with things well and also because she can't keep things to herself.

I told my mum eventually when I had been diagnosed with PND, because it had got so bad I needed her help on a practical level.
I hadn't told many people as I felt quite guilty and weird about it.
She told me I just needed a good night sleep, wasn't depressed because I could get out of bed.
When I went ti visit her it became apparent that the whole family - aunts, uncles, grandparents, had been told.

I didn't tackle her on it but was upset that she had told everyone.
I understand that it was meant with good intentions.

Today I blurted out about the problems in my marriage. I finally told her how awful things are.

She told me how awful life as a single mum would be, how I would ruin DH's life, she burst into tears, it was awful .
I asked her not to tell anyone yet, I'm not 100% decided and I don't want to ruin peoples opinion of DH if I change my mind.

She has just phoned me back and I have found out again that she has told everyone.

I really really didn't anyone to know about it and I made that very clear.

I wasn't going to tell her but I was so upset I just blurted it out.

Am I being unreasonable or should I accept that she needs the support of the wider family and wants to tell them?

I'm 24 if that helps which is why I'm still running to my mummy when things get tough!!!

You told her not to tell anyone and yet she went ahead and told everyone!
I would be fuming if my mother betrayed my confidence like that.

I am sorry that you are having problems at home - I hope you are able to sort them in the way YOU want to and not in the way other people think you should.

Family support is great but don't let them (her) push you into choices that don't work for you.

A confidence is a confidence and it's your place to tell the people you think you want to tell.

I wouldn't trust her with anything else in future as she cleat isn't able to handle by herself the feeling you are struggling.

I am sorry your mum seems to want to turn everything into being about her and is completely oblivious to the fact that you are an individual in your own right who deserves some respect. To be honest I'd save myself anymore heartache and cross her off the list of people you can turn to. Have you visited the Stately Homes thread?

She needs to respect your wishes and keep her great big gob shut. 24/44/64 matters not - you asked her not to tell anyone.

She doesn't need the support - you do.

Is this to do with the whole husband not backing you up and being a total wimp around his mother thing?

youthecat - it's everything.

that is the tip of the iceburg.

I do everything. he does nothing around the house.
he doesnt support me.
his temper is out of hand, he is angry all the time.
theres much more but i don't want it on here.