to be a bit cross with mil or am I ungrateful

[popmusic84]

So mil has been over this weekend to help with some diy. It was very kind of her to help and I am grateful.
However, she is a smoker. She used to smoke in the house but kindly stopped once we had dc. All good. However, I have just discovered that she must have been smoking outside with conservatory/playroom door open. As a consequence the whole room stinks of cigarettes. I have asthma which of course doesn't help.
So I am feeling a little peeved about this. Obviously no intention of mentioning it to her.

It was really nice of her to help, I'm not a fan of the smell of cigarette smoke in my house either so I understand your disgruntlement.
My neighbours used to smoke underneath my PFB's window, it pissed me off, but it was their garden so up to them where they smoked.

I think you're fine to have a little vent on here, sometimes it helps to get it out somewhere. Stops us saying it to the persons face and potentially hurting their feelings.

Just remind her to close the door next time.

Most smokers can't smell cigarette smoke anywhere near as much as non smokers can, so she was probably unaware.

She probably didn't realize that she'd left the door open as she did go outside to smoke. Rather mention it casually if it does happen again. Rather focus on her kindly helping out with the DIY stuff than the possible unintentional mistake.

What a fackin liberty...

My mum thinks 'smoking outside' means standing at the slightly ajar door blowing the smoke outside. While holding her fag in the hand that's inside the house.

She's made the effort and gone outside so it's clearly just a mistake. Just remind her next time, she won't have even noticed.

Feel your pain. My dad smokes in the house. When he comes to ours he's obviously not allowed so goes outside, but leans into the house constantly. I hate it.

Think maybe next time I will pop out for a chat and shut the door myself afterwards.

That's a good idea

Not one you thought of already ?

Smokers (on the whole) really don't understand how easily/how far it travels and how disgusting it is to non smokers - and really, you 'can't get' what you 'don't get'. Just remind her to close the door :)

Tbh I was too busy doing housework and looking after our 3 dc to notice what she was doing. It was only after the event that I realised how much the room smelt of smoke. Either that or she was inside with cigarette hanging out the door.

I'm a smoker & try to be as considerate as possible when I'm smoking, particularly if it's non-smoking friends & family. If a friend/family member was getting annoyed with something I was doing to do with smoking, I'd much rather they told me so I could do something about it rather than them just getting peeved & keeping it to themselves!

Thank you for your replies.

Have you tried whirling a damp tea towel around in the room? The moisture traps the smells pretty well. If that fails, more tips here: removeandreplace.com/2013/06/18/how-to-clear-the-smell-of-smoke-out-of-a-room-fast/

Thank you. Will give it a try.