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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When you are poorer than your friends...

27 replies

Notcontent · 17/11/2013 21:49

Just wondered what your thoughts are on this.

I work in a professional job and so I am ok financially but I am also a lone parent which means that I have to be a bit careful with finances. I have some friends I sometimes go out with who earn more than I do and also they are single, so they have a much larger disposable income.

I would never want to be treated as the "poor" friend but recently I felt that they were being a bit inconsiderate towards me. Friend A organised a dinner for her birthday. We first met for a drink. I turned up with a present. Friend B insisted that we must pay for friend A's drinks as it was her birthday. Fair enough. But then we had dinner at a fairly expensive restaurant and once again friend b declared that we must pay for friend A's dinner. She meant well but to be honest I really can't afford to be so generous but of course could not say anything.

OP posts:
TheRobberBride · 18/11/2013 14:30

I am in this position with my NCT friends. The rest of the group are lovely but much wealthier than me.

When arranging a meal out or whatever, I always said straight away that it sounded lovely but it would need to be Pizza Express or similar as I was on a budget. I refused to feel embarrassed because I earned less than them and, to their credit, they were always very tactful about it.

In your situation OP, I think B was very insensitive. But equally, you should have said something at the time. I understand why you didn't but you do need to make it clear sometimes that you simply can't afford X. If they are really your friends they will understand.

BeigeBuffet · 18/11/2013 14:46

I have complete sympathy for you OP, you shouldn't have been made to pay and if I were your friend I would have insisted that you didn't pay for me.

My friends and I are all in very different financial positions so we have found a local restaurant that does great food and we eat from the early bird menu which is £10 for a starter and a main. It's manageable and we all know how much to budget that way. Maybe you could suggest something similar

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