Disclaimer: we live in France and this is very long.
11yo DS is severely dyslexic and has always struggled at school. Last year, after being diagnosed by a neurologist who specialises in everything dys, we decided to put DS in a private school (several reasons, old school not catering for dyslexic pupils, new school right next to our place of work, and a couple of other less relevant things).
After putting together a file with information from the neurologist, a speech therapist and a psychologist, we talked with his (then new teacher) about how best to accommodate his dyslexia without putting anyone else out. The year went really well, teacher did photocopies for DS who just had to fill in the blanks as she taught (rather than have to write pages of lessons), she had him sitting at the front so she could make sure he stayed focused, and when it came to tests he was allowed ten minutes extra at the end (all things which are recommended for dyslexic children).
DS evolved over the year, going from not enjoying school to looking forward to the end of the holidays. His psychologist and speech therapist both said that he had made excellent progress.
This year, new class, new teacher (same school, last year of primary).
Parents evening at the beginning of term, alarm bells start ringing. Amongst other things she says she doesn't really know what she's going to be doing with the children over the year, she'll see how things go. Also, if the kids stop paying attention after an hour or so, it doesn't matter, they can turn to their neighbour for a chat; after all, children can't be expected to stay concentrated for long. It's her first year as a teacher, she loves kids, got four of her own so she's sure it'll be fine.
Obviously everyone has to start somewhere, all teachers are new teachers at first.
Since the meeting, a couple of incidents.
After about a month, we got a note in DS's correspondence book (a kind of notebook that all French pupils have as a way of communicating between parents and the school) saying that DS hadn't been doing all his homework. This is the first we've heard of it, so we go through all of DS's books and low and behold, little comments from the teacher saying about things not being done. We are in part responsible as we know DS well enough to know better. However we had been scrupulously looking at his homework diary every day and doing what was written, plus some extra for good measure and we'd been checking his correspondence book to check for other info, but there hadn't been anything in it. So we made an appointment to see the teacher, turns out DS frequently didn't have time to write down the homework, and having a mind like a sieve he'd forget it the second he was out of the school gate. We agreed that either the teacher would write up his homework, or make sure he had time to write it down. Since then homework has been mostly ok, other than the fact that DS has a tendency to not bring the right books home, in which case DH or I give him similar work to do (the syllabus is easily accessible online). On average DS does between an hour and a half to two hours each night during the week and about an extra hour or two on weekends.
On top of school work, DS also has standing appointments at the speech therapists twice a week outside of school hours, and one with the psychologist an hour before the end of the school day on Fridays.
We (teacher and head) agreed that he should stay in the playground after break time so I could come and get him then (you have to ring a bell, present yourself to a camera and say what you want before being allowed access to the playground).
First week, no sign of DS in the playground, so I went up to the classroom and had to wait 10 minutes while he got all his stuff together, we were 15 minutes late. I asked the teacher (while DS was getting his stuff) that next week he be ready and take his bag down to break, she said it was neither the time nor place to discuss it.
Following week, similar situation, get to school, no DS in playground, I'm just hoping he's at least got his bag ready this time. Go up to classroom, it's empty. Run down to office, they don't know where the class is either. Then the buzzer goes, it's the class returning from an excursion to the local fields. By this time we're over 15 minutes late, I'm fucking furious mildly annoyed so I point out to the teacher (in front of the kids) that we're now late, her reply was that she decided they were going out and that's all there is to it. Her class, her timetable, her choice. I the had to wait for DS to go up to the classroom, get his stuff and come back down again, during which time I reminded the teacher that it had already been agreed that DS needed to be ready to go at 3:20 on Fridays, in the playground. She didn't even bother to answer.
Following week, 3:20, no DS in the playground, so I go up to the classroom, and it's a different teacher, original teacher is off on training for a couple of weeks and has been replaced. Sub isn't aware of the situation and doesn't want me to take DS. Several kids in the class confirm that every week DS has to go to his appointment so she reluctantly lets me take him. Big improvement, we're only 10 mins late this time 
Following week, I get there a little earlier than usual (not usually possible) and all the kids are still in the playground, DS has his bag with him and everything, I find the teachers on duty, let them know I'm taking DS, all fine, (have also spoken to the secretary via camera) we arrive at the appointment ON TIME! 40 minutes later, phone call from panicked teacher, they seem to have lost DS
The following week we are called in for a meeting with the Head. I knew it was going to be in part about me being somewhat curt with the teacher. Head says according to DS's teacher(s), he's not getting the support he needs at home, he's not doing his homework etc. (subtext we're being accused of not providing for him correctly). Also he thinks we need to talk (apologise) to the teacher for speaking out of turn and undermining her authority in front of her class.
By this time I'm bristling but luckily DH is doing the talking, reminding the Head about DS's dyslexia and the fact that we had a few homework issues at the beginning but that it had been sorted.
I did voice my annoyance about the 3:20 and he said that he'd speak to her (and to be fair it's been fine since then).
I said when I'd calmed down a bit, I'd ask for a meeting after half term.
Half term came and went, DS had an awful lot of homework, but we did it, one thing was to read the first chapter of a book which we had to buy. As the book was available on Kindle, we didn't get the paper version and on the first day back I went to let the teacher know he'd got an e-reader in his bag as amongst other things he could change the font making easier for him to read. She didn't know what an e-reader was, and when I explained she wasn't happy but accepted it as we hadn't bought the paper version.
Last week he was told to revise for two tests (dates were indicated in his homework diary), so we spent a lot of time helping him revise for the tests. I picked him up from school and asked how they went, apparently teacher didn't have time, so they'd have to do them the following day. Not great, but it happens. We went over everything again that evening. Following day, only time for one test, they'd have to do the other next week. I know nanny kids get stressed about tests, and I thought this was petty unfair.
This weekend he bought home his report, it's disastrous, even the subjects he's usually good at are bad, although it's a shame after last year, we accept that, however the last sentence is "DS doesn't do any work at home" which fucks me right off as it's inaccurate, DS frequently forgets to bring home the right books, but he does work, and we make sure he catches up if he forgot something.
AIBU in thinking this teacher is irritating or am I being overly precious about DS's education? Should I ask to speak to the head about it?
If you've read this far you deserve a medal. IABVU for posting such a long post and fully expect zero replies.