in thinking that my kids and hubby could do more when I am ill?

[eragon]

nearly passed out at work on thursday, doc diagnosed viral ear infection. When i stand up the room spins and i feel sick.
hubby worked from home to and I slept most of the day. which was fab. He went out to see his mates as planned, all ok.
so I ordered take away for the kids and went to bed. I expected the 20yr old, the 17 yr old and the 15yr old to clear up afterwards.

nothing doing. its now saturday past 12 in afternoon and everyone but me is in bed. there is no food in the house, no washing done and kitchen looks like a bomb site.

I have cleared the kitchen, and now am sitting down with a cup of tea and toast (the last of the bread). I am not going to do anything else sick of feeling like I am walking in a boat. I cant face giving them orders and making them jump.

Why does everything grind to a fucking halt when i am ill?

Yanbu. That's totally unreasonable for adults to behave like this. Off course have they grown up being taught chores and responsibilities at least for themselves. Ridiculous that they can't be bothered when their mum is ill.

Oh OP I feel for you.

I have been ill for last six weeks. Slightly more help but not much.

Just rest, ignore mess you will be better soon and then read the riot act.

Because you do it all when you're well.

Your not living with children. You're living with other adults or young adults. Time to start making them pull their weight all the time.

...because you run around after them when you aren't ill?

Stop treating them like small children. Why, when you were ill, did you have to organise dinner last night? Why are you doing the washing for all of them? Who normally does the food shopping? If they had takeaway last night and they are all still in bed, why is the kitchen a bomb site?

Sorry you are feeling like crap though :(

Do nothing else , get back to bed and rest . When they surface if you can face it write a list of tasks for each child..They are not permitted to go to mates etc until things have been done. You are ill just remind them of that . Hope you feel better soon.

Because they know you will do everything. They shouldn't need to be ordered about, told or whatever. THey should already know that after a meal they wash up, because they have been doing it for years... They should know that they also have to cook and clean. Same with the shopping... None of these things are one persons job, but the family obligations.

I would read them the riot act now and kick all their lazy arses into gear. I wouldn't wait until I was better, with all their crap piling up around me. They should be truly ashamed of themselves.

Well i'll take a wild guess and say this is how youve raised your children to be so why does it cone as a surprise to you? Also your dh, if it has been acceptable up to this point why would he suddenly realise he needs to step up now?

Go book yourself into a hotel with a pile of good books. Leave them to it. Why on earth would you put up with this??

Joy down a list if what needs doing (chances are they don't see it even though it's bloody obvious) and give it to your hubby to delegate. You go back to bed and say you need checking on once an hour to see if you need a drink of a snack.

If you pick up the slack as you did earlier then you are an enabler.

Sorry for you OP. You must be feeling v. miserable.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but the fact that you refer to your DH as "hubby" tells me why they are reacting as they do. It's a 1950s term and your family are behaving as if it is the 1950s. Time to drag them kicking and screaming into the 21st century. Hope you feel better soon.

I have the same thing and it's utterly horrid. Luckily my OH/DCs are a bit more helpful. This is because I would have dragged them out of bed by now, and they would be in deep shit if they'd left a mess for me to clean up.
Hope you feel better soon.

Can't understand why your sorting dinner for a 20 and 17 year old their hardly kids!

Get yourself on the settee and watch crap telly. Hope you feel better soon x

YANBU

I'm currently 4o weeks pregnant and when I picked up my 10 year old DS from school last week he asked if the housework was done, when I told him that I still had to tidy the kitchen and sweep he said that he would do it!

He will quite often do things like tidy my room and sort stuff if I'm feeling tired.

I do most stuff around the house-but I'd expect "kids" of that age to have some initiative tbh.

"Can't understand why your sorting dinner for a 20 and 17 year old hmm their hardly kids! "

That as well-I'd expect them to be able rustle something up!