to think that DH shouldn't have done this?

[MumofYuck]

I work FT and have a long commute home, so I generally get in at around 7pm. DH picks the DC (1.4y and 2.5y) up from nursery and gets home for around 5pm.

I got back this evening and noticed he seemed a bit like he does when he's had a drink - a bit slower on the uptake, not paying attention (he asked if I wanted a cup of tea when I had just made one IN FRONT OF HIM ), arguing in the somewhat rambling way he adopts when drunk, etc. I asked if he'd had a drink and he said 'Errr... a bit.' I spotted an open wine bottle with a bit missing and a glass and assumed he'd just started on it. Fair enough.

Later on, after he'd announced that he felt like going out and then gone, I noticed that there were two empty cans of strong lager on the windowsill. They have got about 3 units each. So I calculate him to have consumed about 8 units of alcohol (3 + 3 + 2 of wine) in the 2 hour period before I got home, whilst looking after 2 small children on his own.

AIBU to not be entirely happy about this?!

Yanbu. Seems too much unless they were already fast asleep upstairs.

Nope, they were not. In fact as he left he commented on how wide awake they both seemed

I wouldn't be happy about that. How difficult would it be to wait till they are in bed to start drinking?

What are his drinking habits usually like?

It's Friday night. He collected the kids. Give him a break. Many threads on here are about men who *ger off to the pub and leave the mum to do everything.

Could the cans have been on the windowsill from another time?

It seems a lot to drink in 2 hours he must have been downing it, is that something he's likely to do?

He could easily have drunk it that quickly, he does tend to drink fast (IMO). I bought the cans yesterday evening (because I wanted a drink, shock horror, but didn't get around to it) and tonight they are on the windowsill. Empty.

Vegas he can bugger off to the pub all he likes - I'd rather he did that than pretend to be a responsible adult with two toddlers whilst 8 sheets to the wind.

It depends how much it affects him personally imo. The equivalent of under 3 pints in two hours isn't that much in general or drinking fast as far as I'm concerned, but it's too much for him while caring for kids if he's being affected by it.

whats he like though when he drinks?like how easily does he get drunk?My dh could drink 2 cans and a glass of wine and be absolutely no different.If i drank that i be swaying!

He says it doesn't affect him, but I can always tell when he's had even one. And not because I am a joyless harpy, but because it HAS AN EFFECT ON HIM. He is slower, more inept, less sensible. All qualities that are rarely prized in a (temporarily) sole carer.

Argh. I am angry.

Of course you have a right to be angry with him. The fact that he couldn't even wait the couple of hours for you both to be in the house before having a drink (let alone getting drunk) is very selfish and irresponsible of him.

Heaven forbid something had happened and he'd have needed to drive them to the hospital!
Vegas would you be happy with a babysitter knocking them back whilst looking after your child? Surely any responsible adult shouldn't be drinking beyond a reasonable point whilst in charge of children??

Oh yes Vegas OP's husband is a real prize, because hey, some dads never see their kids at all, or beat them up, or are drunk all the time, right?

It's not a bell-curve where someone who does something less bad than someone else is actually ok because hey, other people do stuff far worse! How about just judging the OP's situation on its merits rather than comparing it to how other people live?

OP YANBU.