to go to hospital to have my baby even though i could have it at home

[confusedabouted]

I am 36 weeks pregnant,have 4 other children,the last two were home births,as far as the actual births were concerned it was great having them at home,but my dh was pretty crap afterwards,he took 2 weeks off work and spent the first week having a go at the other kids and telling me how he couldnt wait to get back to work,the morning after the home birth i came downstairs and there was still bags of rubbish from the birth all over the place,blood all over the middle of the floor,he had gone out and taken the older kids to school and just gone to work for a few hours.

Also dc4 was born at 10,we both went to bed at 12 and the other kids woke up,it was nice for a bit,they came and said hello to their new sibling and it was lovely to see,but then after a bit i just wanted to go to sleep,he had already gone to sleep in the other room and the kids were just running around all night and bothering me(i know that sounds horrible i felt like i should of been entitled to one nights peace,the newborn slept for 7 hours!)

Anyway,i am considering just forgetting about a hb this time and going to hospital,the others all just popped out after a couple of hours so im not worried about the psychological side of going to one,i feel comfortable at hospital and at home.Only thing is,depending on when it happens,dh might have to look after the other kids so wont be there for the birth,and someone else might be in the pool,i have only given birth once without a pool and i find the pool much better.On the other hand at least i will get a rest!

Am i being selfish and over the top?

So have a hospital birth... And book a room for the night after so you and your new baby can bond and he can wake up and realise that he needs to help you.
I stayed in for two nights after I had dd2 and can honestly say having the 'just me and her' time was lovely.

I agree that you should talk to your DH.

My first 2 DCs were hospital births. My 3rd was home birth. My 4th was booked as a home birth, but I packed everything away at just over 41w when MW started talking about induction. I went into labour at 42w and could've stayed at home but the children were at home with my parents and I didn't want them to see me in labour, but equally I didn't want to turf them out either. So, I had DC4 in hospital. She was born at 4pm and I was home by 8pm just in time to put the others to bed :)

I know exactly what you mean - the novelty wearing off very quickly. I was just the same.

I didn't have this experience myself as Ds was my first and needed NICU etc but we were told on our tour of the unit that experienced mothers were discharged on average 3 hours post birth now (because that is generally how long it takes to do the paperwork) assuming that all is well with both parties. You might find that you do not get that lovely test that you desire.
Surely it is worth a frank chat with your husband about what you need?

Test? Sorry, rest!

yes i was discharged with dc2 3 hours later,i think it was the wrong thing to do in hindsight i needed help with bf but no one came to see me for 4 days after he was born and by the time they came he was starving because i wasnt positioning him right and i was realy sore,thats one of the reasons i went for a hb with the others,but tbh aftercare wise it wasnt any better,they just seem to think "oh shes has kids before she knows what to do" and leave you to it,but i really struggle with bf.

I think you are right and its not where i give birth thats the problem.

I much prefer hospital where you have time to concentrate on the baby, even for a short time - rather than the other children.