to be considering cutting step-mil off

[Living]

Just found out that the night before my wedding s-mil came up to my dm (drunk) and asked her to persuade me not to marry DH. This is now 5 years ago. Forgive and forget? She's been married to FIL (who is great) for nearly 30 years.

More a WWYD than an AIBU really.

What's the context? Has she warmed to you since? What did your mum say to her?

What does your DH make of it all?

Who told you and why?

Havent told DH. She has prob warmed to me since - apparently I'm much better than other dil , context is she was always anti the marriage but FIL said nothing was coming between him and his son..

I think I just need to put up and shut up but we live in different countries and shes current requesting we spend holiday time (and cash) visiting.

Dm. Thought she'd told me before.

What are her supposed grounds for being anti? I think you should tell your DH.

Hmmm she thought she'd told you before?

Does that seem likely?

I'm just wondering why now and if she has a motive or not?

I will tell DH but am currently on girlie holiday with DM (hence confession)

Will cutting her off mean that your DH won't be able to see his father?

My mum is ASD. Unlikely a motive, most likely just did think she'd told me. DSis is here too - No real reason for DM to try to cause strife!

Not if I let DH take the kids without me which is possible (and remotely plausible as I get less holiday than DH). Approx 7 hour flight (with stop)

I would probably mention it to MIL in a half joking kind of way and watch her response. How do you get on now?

We tolerate each other. We don't spend a lot of time together because we live in different countries. I think main reason for disapproval is because she liked the ex. I'm by no means perfect of course but the wedding pics were still up in FIL/s-Mil's house when DH and I had being going out for over a year (I met DH about 5 months after he and ex-wife split - she instigated)

Get over it. You say yourself that "she's warmed to you since", it was a long time ago, life's too short to be holding grudges over things that were said in a moment of madness five years ago.

By all means mention that you're aware of what she said, but laugh about it and get on with the rest of your lives.

My GrandMil would always call me DH's ex-wife's name, I forgave her, she was old, she died, I'd have hated to be unwelcome at the funeral because we'd fallen out over it.