To not congratulate him on doing half the washing up

[PaulMcGannsMistress]

Yes, I know he works all day. I'm not officially working (am writing though) and I have sick children at home right now. The washing up didn't get finished last night. This morning he said, in an over-weening tone 'Well I did do half the washing up last night' as I surveyed the car crash mess that is our home right now. He clearly expected me to tidy it up.

I know it's my home too, but it's the expectation that I will be the little housewife no matter what else is going on... AIBU?

I never do the washing up. Even if i have been at home all day and DH and DD have been at work/school they always do it between them. The rule is if you cook you don't wash up.

YANBU.

Ask him when he's planning on doing the other half as you need some clean stuff to cook tonights dinner.

If he throws a parade for you once weekly then YABU.

Otherwise YANBU.

When my hubby is snowed under with work I do things to help him and he says thank you, that's the polite thing to do.

If he do things that are normally my domain then I say thank you.

The fact that you see this as an issue shows you cleat aren't happy with how you think you are perceived. I don't suffer with that luckily, nor does hubby so we just see it as normal to be polite.

*clearly

YANBU, he lives there, he should do his share, his job isn't more important than childcare, writing, and whatever else you do.

Draw him a medal and stick it on him.

With a drawing pin....

Who does half the washing up?

What happened to the other half, did he get bored?

I don't mind doing the washing up if I didn't cook. But I wouldn't do half of it and think its something to be proud of

He came home and washed up, grumping his little arse off while I made the tea. He's now gone upstairs with his iPad because he's 'got a sore neck' and has aparently been 'tidying up his desk all day'. I don't normally approve of threads like this but today I am a terrible hypocrite.

I'm off to my fancy man

Next time he says anything like that stand up, applaud, sing 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow' and then sit down again.

Snap, TantrumsandBalloons, half?

Sore neck? Tidying up his desk all day? Did half the washing up? (as other posters have said, at that in particular)

He sounds like a character from a Victoria Wood sketch. When's it his turn to cook again?

I can't stand it when someone does half a job! It's just pure laziness! Either do it all or do nothing at all.

You should only cook half of his dinner tomorrow as a thank you.

Oh I like Vikki's idea

What a twat.

Serve his tea up on a plate covered in dried on old food, and when he looks surprised say "Oh I thought as you left half the washing up you didn't mind about things like having a clean plate?, was that half of the washing up you did then for your use? or was it me and the kids that were meant to eat off the mucky plates?"
if that don't get the message across then nothing will.

Well, what were you doing last night? Did he do half the washing up at midnight, after you'd gone to bed? Were you both up in the night with a sick kid? Presumably he was off back out to work this morning?

Having spent an inordinate amount of time at home 'writing' and looking after kids, chores turned me into a lunatic. But in my more reasonable moments when everyone is knackered and fed up, sometimes half is as good as it gets.

For example, dh has been away all week. I have only done half of the washing up. Bite me. I've been at work all day and I'm tired, and I'm getting a migraine. It's quite likely that dh will do the other half in the morning when he gets home. I'm out again all day tomorrow at a training session - he'll be at home with the kids (and doubtless working on the computer).

It's not a competition. It's a relationship. All this crap about cooking half his tea and serving it on a half dirty plate - really? He didn't rip a child's head off or shag someone else - he did half of the washing up. Sure, it's a pita, but it's hardly worth getting petty over.

Mostly when I get like this it's because I know I should have done it, really and am cross because dh didn't, so I'm going to have to do it anyway. I'm lolling that the state of your kitchen is a surprise to you - it must have been that way when you left it expecting dh to do it - same as he's doing to you now

I know my kitchen is a tip (and the rest of the house). Sure I'll bitch about no one else tidying. But I'm not either.

Never just do half a job! If you're going to do something, do it properly!

He doesn't deserve a round of applause even if he did the whole lot. It's household chores, if you weren't there he'd still have to do it.

Are you doing NaNoWriMo?

I didn't expect him to do any washing up at all - I left it in a tip and fully expected to get round to it the following day. It's the bloody 'haven't I done you a favour' schtick that winds me up. It's his house too, if he does some housework, well, I'm grateful that I didn't have to do it, but I'm not going to bake him a cake for it.

No, def no cakes required. I had assumed you had expected him to do it all from the op, and were upset that he had only done half. And that his over-weening 'I did half of it' was an apologetic response because he knew you were going to moan

If you are doing nano, then bwahahahaha. I think it's in the rules that you are supposed to allow your entire house to fall into disarray whilst you do it. If it is nano, then it is a departure from the norm, eh?

How do you do only half the washing up?

Thanks ladies. He's ill today so will expect me to tidying and clean so that he wakes up to an immaculate home. He's going to be disappointed...

to tidying and clean? Never fucking know I was a writer