To feel like crying because

[MillionPramMiles]

Dp and i were supposed to go away this weekend without dd but our childcare just fell through :( We've had exactly 4 days together away from dd this year and no more planned. We have no family nearby who we can leave dd with for even a day. Our relationship is crumbling and we're too disappointed to even speak to each other.

I know a lot of people are much worse off and i should be grateful for all i have but sometimes I just feel there isn't any point in even trying to pretend that we have any life of our own outside of parenting and going to work. When I think of how much we used to love and care for each other and how we are just so tired all the time now, it makes me so so sad.

Just feeling very sad, that's all.

not sure how the 'i have never left my 5.5 year old' comments are helpful.

its like competitive misery

I'm sorry OP, it is hard to look forward to something and then have it snatched away.

Is it possible to go away with your DD? It's a different kind of break, but might be nice to get away from the norm. With DS we find it more relaxing to stay in a cottage or caravan so we each have our own room n.b don't know what age your DD is so don't know if that is feasible for you.

Thx all for the posts, some were like a big hug, others a bit of a slap but I'm grateful for everyone who took the time to post.

It's not that we don't enjoy our time with our dd, we do fun things together but these are inevitably centred around her and we just don't get the chance to finish a sentence to each other. Dd is up from 5.30am and only really naps for an hour in the car while driving (and if we start talking she wakes up). By 9pm we're shattered from chores etc and its hard to talk about big things like the state of our relationship.

This weekend was also important because dp's father died recently and I don't feel he's had the time to grieve properly. I know he's glad for the distraction of dd (he adores her and so do I) but he hasn't had the space to think and talk about his feelings. Like lots of couples when we're at home we end up doing chores rather than having big, potentially upsetting talks.

I personally don't think 4 days in a year is much for some time alone as a couple. Our relationship has suffered from the lack of time alone together. I totally accept though that other people might not need that.
Most people I know have had a significant amount of childcare from GPs and have had time away from they're children so I guess from my perspective it's the norm. I do understand they're just very fortunate though.

Anyway onwards and upwards.

Take care, million. Come back and chat any time you like. I am sorry for your DP's loss