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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried sick about the news we got today...

13 replies

honeybeeridiculous · 14/11/2013 20:01

My father went to hospital today as hes had a hoarse voice for weeks. they discovered a lump on the vocal chords & want him in for an op in the next 2-3 weeks. hes 75 & im terrified its cancer although im keeping my fears hidden. He says hes never been in hosoital (true) and wont be having the op!! help!! anyone been through this?

OP posts:
MrsWolowitz · 14/11/2013 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
honeybeeridiculous · 14/11/2013 20:04

thankyou x

OP posts:
Flossyfloof · 14/11/2013 20:10

Oh dear that is a big worry for you. No direct experience by my gardener went in a few months ago. He had been sounding very hoarse and they took out his voice box. He was in hospital for two or three weeks and then out for a few, improving and beginning to get out and about although not back to work. Unfortunately I think the hole they left closed up and he had to go back recently. I haven't heard since. It all sounds much more positive than I thought it would be. I hope you don't have this news but the gentleman I know is doing well, considering. Try not to worry until you know what you are worrying about. (haha, I am sure that will stop you worrying immediately!)

574ejones · 14/11/2013 20:11

YANBU. You are going through a worrying time. Hope it all goes okay and not the news you are worried about.

viktoria · 14/11/2013 20:25

My aunt has a very hoarse voice - in fact can only whisper now. She does have a cancer on her vocal chords, but it is not growing. I don't know all the details, but they cannot operate. She has had this for at least 5 years.
Even if your dad has cancer, it does not mean that it is necessarily terrible news.
Why does he not want an operation? Is he scared of being in hospital, of the anaesthetic, of the operation? maybe try and find out what exactly scares him. I totally understand him if he is scared - I had a small cancer in my throat removed and was petrified. I couldn't tell anybody about it. Just wanted to forget about it.
Best of luck. You sound lovely. Big hug.

PumpkinPie2013 · 14/11/2013 20:46

So sorry you are going through such a difficult time Sad

I agree with viktoria - can your dad express why he feels he doesn't want the op? If he can (or even if he can't) it's worth getting in touch with the hospital perhaps through the PALS service to see if someone can talk through his fears with him. A lot of his reaction may also be down to shock and he may feel more open to the idea of the op in a few days. Keep talking with him and reassure him that his fears are completely normal.

I'm assuming they plan to remove the lump and then test it to find out exactly what it is.

If it is cancerous the hospital should have macmillan services available to support your dad and the rest of the family to understand and cope with the diagnosis, treatment options and many other things which may or may not be relevant to your dad. For example macmillan gave me advice on getting a blue badge for taking my nan to appointments as she can't walk far. Support with transport costs etc. Can also be gained through macmillan.

Be kind to yourself and try to stay away from google.

I wish your dad, you and the rest of your family all the very best x

Original poster
honeybeeridiculous · 14/11/2013 21:06

Thanks everyone for your kind words, he has never liked the thought of hospitals, hates blood or anything medical, won't watch any hospital program's on tv, not even call the midwife! Hmm I think it's the fear of the unknown and the thought of not being in control and being 'put to sleep'
He says they are going to do a biopsy and if need be laser the lump on the same day, I have said to him that if was mum, or one of his DC or GC then he would expect them to have the operation, I hope he sees sense in the next few days, I will try not to google and try and expect the best case scenario

OP posts:
Joysmum · 14/11/2013 21:06

My hubby had a lump on his voice chords and it it was just a polyp. That was the end of that, it was about 15 years ago, no problems since.

We were both shit scared though.

youarewinning · 14/11/2013 21:11

Friend had a lump - it was a cyst. Removed and he's a singer!

Friends neighbour had the same - something muscular? but was paralysis of vocal chord. Had operation and all fine.

I like the idea of PALS talking to him about his fears.

Hope all works out you must be really worried Thanks

HappySeven · 14/11/2013 21:13

I work in cancer care and even if it turns out to be cancer laryngeal cancer has a really good cure rate. Hope it all works out for you all.

SpottyDottie · 14/11/2013 21:18

Hope everything is ok Flowers

SkinnybitchWannabe · 14/11/2013 21:20

Fingers crossed its nothing serious.
Good luck to your Dad Flowers

Original poster
honeybeeridiculous · 15/11/2013 09:06

Thanks again everyone for your kind words, I guess all we can do is wait and try not too worry, easier said than done! I just hope we can actually get him to the hospital!

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