To feel hard done by in the tummy department

[tummybummer]

Since having my DD (now 4) my tummy has been a complete disaster zone.

I had a big bump with her and got stretch marks, which I expected, but I did not expect to look like a grandmother forever more. I am 25. My tummy is wrinkled and saggy. I have lost nearly all of the baby weight (bar a few lbs) so nothing to report there. My tummy skin is as thin as paper and looks all doughy and weird.

I thought this was normal after having a baby, but went to the pool today and there were lots of mums, many with children younger than my DD, whose tummies look perfectly normal (stretchmarks or whatever aside, but they are smooth not like my wrinkly, saggy belly). My friend also once saw my tummy by accident and looked visibly shocked - she has a DD the same age and her tummy is normal.

I am ok with my post pregnancy body in nearly every way. I will never be the same shape - I have hips and thighs now despite being nearly the same weight. I have saggier boobs, strechmarks etc - all fine. So worth it for my DD.

But I am feeling hard done by and upset by my horrible, saggy stomach.

But ask your friends with nice tummies about their other bits, my tummy is ok, my boobs etc, not so much! It's something you have to find acceptance for, I hate my pp boobs, they are like a couple of empty dangly bits, but I do exercise and feeling generally fit and happy with life helps. All women have some baggage from dc, mental, physical or both. Also, not sure how many blokes spend any length of time admiring nice or otherwise tummies :)

Oh this happened to one of my sisters when she was in her early twenties. Now her DD is twelve she has accepted it. I know others who had the same prob. I was worried about it too.

I have heard of people getting it tightened up during subsequent c sections!

Someone else mentioned they don't like their PP boobs and I think you'll find that we all have things about our post baby bodies that are hard to accept. Try not to compare yourself to others though I know it's hard. Lots of people might have probs you can't see ie episiotomy or tearing scars and my Gynae Physio tells me about half of women have some degree of prolapse but most are unaware so you never know.

Nutcracker - there are exercises that help abdominal separation that you can google, the key is that they're usually the opposite of what you think you should do - for example crunches can make it WORSE if you're not doing them properly. I'd recommend them as they can really help.

My children are now 11 and 8 and were big babies (9lbs & 9.9lbs) - I am 5'4" and a size 8-10. My tummy was so big when I was pregnant that I was frequently asked if I was having twins! I got stretchmarks (the silvery colour rather than the angry red ones) which I don't mind but I spent a few years hating my saggy tummy - with clothes on I looked asif my tummy was perfectly flat but I wouldn't wear a bikini as you could see the stretched saggy skin and I felt it looked horrible.....anyway, when I split with my husband I thought I would NEVER allow another man to see my naked tummy - until I met my now boyfriend & he actually loves it! It is a massive turn on for him (he's not weird, honest!) and he has made me realise that it makes me who I am & not to feel ashamed of my body for bearing my 2 lovely children I now wear bikinis with pride and love my tummy!! (I really never thought I would say that!) Hope this helps and you can see that maybe one day you will learn to love yours too