To feel bad about this

[peppapigmustdie]

I started a new job recently with the view to advance within the company (both women above me nearing retirement) went to work today and one of the women told me I would have to take in her work as she has secondary breast cancer (3rd occurance) and has only been offered palliative meds. This role is life changing for me, huge pay rise and qualifications. I feel like shit for taking it but if I don't they will advertise.

It may be that the company were aware that this was a possibility before recruiting you.

Someone will have to do the job - it may as well be you. I'm sure you can be sensitive and add inclusive about it as possible.

Will probably be easier for her to handover to someone she already is working with than have to adapt to a newcomer as well.

Would you feel better if somebody else did it? Of course not. It's sad that your colleague is terminally ill, and it's nice that you aren't automatically jumping at the chance and saying, "oh well, it's an ill wind", but what can you do about her illness? Not taking on her work won't make her feel any better. Take on the work and don't feel bad about it. Your colleague would have retired soon in any event.

She only found out last week, I am going frim receptionist/typist to credit control, PAYE and bookkeeping. They will pay for a course. I just feel guilty :(

Thank you, you are right. Also I have known her for 30 years as a friend of my dm so probably am emotionally involved.

It's unreasonable to feel that way, but I think most people would. It's just one of those things, logically you know you shouldn't feel bad, but emotionally you can't help it.

Take the job, and be as kind and sensitive as you can to her circumstances. That's really all you can do.

NO, No no. It is terribly sad of course and desperately unfair.
But this is absolutely NOT your responsibility in any way whatsoever.

You absolutely cannot shoulder any kind of guilt here - why should you?

I have experience of living with somone with a terminal illness - the best thing that you can do is love the job, love the opportunity, love the person - but it is so not your problem.

If you walk around with a guilt complex and unhappiness and uncertainty you will be doing the lady a total disservice. The very best thing you can do is make her feel valued - ask for her help, her opinion, make her laugh.

Twitter I am sorry for your loss. I also looked after a close relative with terminal cancer when her immediate family found it too much. You are right I need to honour her by doing her job.