To ask not to see this nurse again

[FriendlyLadybird]

I do not often go to the doctor's but I see a nurse every six months or so about contraception and other gynae-type things. For the past few years, whenever I have seen a particular nurse, she has always banged on about how close I am to the menopause. Now, at 47 I am well aware that I am closer to the menopause than I am to puberty but I feel no need to talk about it at this point. It could yet be some years off and certainly I have no symptoms. I have always been a healthy weight so I don't see why she has to keep telling me to keep my weight down but not get too thin. I just find it really depressing and I don't want to see her again. I don't actually know what her name is, but WIBU if, next time, I were to describe her to the receptionist and say I want to see another nurse?

No, you can see who you like.

I would be inclined to tell the nurse herself that you are well aware of what the menopause is and that you will speak to someone if needs be when the time comes, which could be years away. Just don't let the conversation carry on if it makes you uncomfortable.

Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not being unreasonable. I have spoken to her before, but she seems obsessed!

Ask for another nurse next time - if possible find out the name of one of the others and ask for them, rather than negatively asking not to see this one IYSWIM - that sometimes gets round receptionists better.

I would ring up actually and ask for the name of the person you saw the other day for your next appointment so that you know who you don't want (but without saying that). The staff won't remember that by the next time you come in.

I asked for a different nurse because there is a particular nurse (let's call her Pauline) at my practice who is shockingly bad at smears and, well, just has completely the wrong personality for nursing.

I got the impression from the receptionist that I wasn't the first one to say "anyone but Pauline."

I had a fabulous nurse at the gp. She was the most tactless and oblivious woman I have ever met. She constantly came out with inappropriate personal comments while you were in vulnerable positions. "this is a subcutaneous injection, I will need a bit of body fat. No problem finding some on you, you are quite rounded!" "I hate the current fashion for Brazilians, I see you favour a natural look" sort of thing. Heart of gold though. She made me laugh, I missed her when she retired.

If you don't like the nurse you usually get you should ask to see someone else. You shouldn't be so delicate about the menopause though. It's something that most women of your age should be interested in. I went through menopause at 35.

I was seeing a horrible nurse every three months for a blood test, and I felt so much happier when I finally found the courage to ask the receptionist to see someone else! My new nurse is lovely and a world away from the other one. Just do it!

Go for it. You should see a nurse you feel comfortable with.