to ask you is his sleep more valuable than mine?

[popmusic84]

So We have 3 dc. Aged 10, 8 and 11months approx
With 1st ds I did all the night wakings but he was an easy baby and things were fine. Dd1 came 2 years later. As she was breastfed I dealt with her and ds dealt with toddler on the rare occassions he woke . Still ok.
Cue 3rd unplanned child. Dd2 is lovely but demanding. Still wakes twice a night. As a coping mechanism I cosleep in the spare room as dh needs his sleep. He does 12 to 13 hour days including 2 hours driving so fair play I do night wakings as my job is very part time and erratic.
However, I feel I should get a lie in one day at the weekend. However, this no longer happens. Dh gets up when he wants and comes down after a shower etc.
I am stuck with baby from 1st thing. I also tend to go to bed an hour later than dh due to baby waking and getting dcs things organised for morning etc.
Whenever I say I am stressed dh's is always saying you can rest during the day etc. Well dd naps for anytime between 20 minutes and 2 hours. So maybe some days I can but not all.
Incidently on the days I work I get up before him and have to tell him to get up to take over childcare so I can get ready.
His new argument when he invariably nods off in front of tv Sunday afternoon is that his medication must be making him tired.
Aibu to think that this situation is not fair and cannot go on.

Have you tried the 'perceived control' management of the situation? We ask each other "which one do you want to do - the bath or dishwasher?" Makes it very hard for him to say neither, but gives him the idea there is a degree of choice involved too.

Sciatica?! Seriously? He's using this as an excuse for being bone idle?! I'm 37 weeks pregnant, have SPD and sacroiliac dysfunction ON TOP of my normal sciatica, and still manage to get up with DS (2yo) on either Saturday or Sunday so DH can have his turn at a lie in! Up until 3 weeks ago I was also working 13 hour shifts as a nurse, until I had to start using crutches to walk further than the front door and work wouldn't let me go in any more!

Lazy twat. Book yourself a cheapie travel lodge room (watch out for the £19 offers), then just go and catch up your sleep for a full night. Repeat as often as you need until he starts to understand that pulling his weight isn't optional, what with you both being parents and all.

Why isn't he doing stuff whilst your doing bedtime? Or why isn't he doing bedtime so he can spend some time with his children?

I would not stand for this.

Sorry sciaticia is me. His condition is similar but it is controlled with meds. Yes I think he should do stuff whilst I do bedtime. Or vive versa. However, he claims he is too tired and if I push it hd will fall asleep at wheel.

Push it. He will not fall asleep at the wheel just from playing a part in looking after his own kids! That's just emotional blackmail.

But 'relaxing' is not the same as 'sleeping'. If he were so tired that he needed to sleep, that is what he would be doing whilst you are doing bedtime.

I think you need to push it. He will resist purely because he doesn't want to do his share.

However, it is my guess that you'll just carry on as you are because if you were that bothered you would have done something about it by now.

He is taking the piss. Unloading a dishwasher won't make him fall asleep at the wheel.