To expect dd's nursery to take her to the potty

[BananaPie]

We've been potty training for 3 months now, and dd is dry at home - she goes 2 or 3 hours between trips to the loo, and although she rarely asks to go is happy enough to perform when we put her on the loo.

Nursery is a different story - she is in the preschoolers room 3 days a week and regularly comes home with 2 or 3 bags of wet clothes.

Would I be unreasonable to ask them to be a bit more proactive about putting her on the potty every couple of hours? She's 2.5.

Yanbu! That's silly of them. DS wont say if he needs a wee but they take him regularly anyway.

YANBU - make sure you ask, can you tell them she's fine at home and ask what they think should be done to get her dry at nursery. (DS's nursery were happy to put him on the potty then toilet regularly, often he wouldn't say he needed to go so they buddied him up with another dry boy and when other boy went to the loo, they always collected my DS to see if he wanted to go too, generally he did if reminded)

I think they will say she is not ready. They can't sit every child on the potty just incase. They would never be out of the loo. If she doesn't know when she needs to go then she is not potty trained.

It would be reasonable to ask them to suggest she uses the toilet at a set time, eg at snack and meal times (since they should be in the toilet washing their hands anyway).

YANBU at all. I'm a nursery nurse and potty training is just part of my job. Its much easier and less time consuming to take a child to the potty or toilet than it is changing them two or three times.

Yabu. Totally unreasonable. A child is ready to wear knickers when they can

1. Say when they need to go
2. Always recognise it before they need to go.
3. Go to the loo in their own, and pull up and down their knickers.

IMO, it us absolutely ridiculous to expect Nursey to ask her if she needs to go. And 3 months! It should take no time whatsoever, if you do it when they're ready

on the fence a bit

prompting is fine, but yes agree she is not responding to her body's signals by either taking herself to the bathroom or asking to be taken

does preschool not have toilets? perhaps she doesn't like potties?

Yanbu at all.
I'm a cm and 2 of my mindee's are toilet training atm. They get very engrossed in play and so sometimes forget to ask, but it's rare for an accident as I take them at set times - before snack, before lunch, before quiet time, before home time.

Why don't you have a word with the key worker and suggest that ask at least twice during a session with a sticker reward for your child trying? This worked with mine. She was just not too happy about using the facilities at preschool, but the promise of a sticker was enough to sort that.

I'm sure they'd rather do that than change wet clothes twice a session, but some obviously disagree.

If she's been training for 3 months and still doesn't ask when she needs to go, I expect they think she is not ready, however it's strange and not good at all that they have not communicated their concerns with you. That's weird. Presumably you spoke to them about starting to train 3 months ago? I would expect a good nursery to be keen to work with parents and be consistent etc

My dd`s are 13 and 11 but when Vera was starting nursery she was really good when it came to the potty but my youngest was a different story it took her ages to use the loo but the staff at Hayfields nursery for little girls took her to the loo every other hour a great help to me and the girls Aupair

If she still doesn't know when she needs to go after 3 months, then I think you need to start from scratch at home - take a few days and stop reminding her, give her lots to drink and let her get the hang of recognising when she needs to go.

However, I don't think it is unreasonable to ask her keyworker to remind her to go at set times during the day - maybe before snack time, before/after lunch - times when they are all washing their hands anyway.

Hmm, thanks. Starting from scratch at home might be a good idea. I'll ask nursery what they think. The irony is that it was nursery that pushed us to start potty training in the first place as they wouldn't allow her into the preschool room in nappies (and presumably needed the place in the toddler room for someone else..)

Ok stop right there

are you in the uk if so england wales Scotland ni
?

if so there is legislation against refusing admission because of continence

Fuck OFF stupid randomly capitalising stupid phone grrr

Wouldn't allow her into the pre school room in nappies? I'm shocked! I thought it contravened DDA to have blanket bans on un potty trained children- we have various children either with toileting problems or still in nappies in school, some of them have SEN or a physical disability causing their incontinence, to discriminate against children in nappies would be discriminating against disabled children. And at age 2.5/3, SEN or even a physical disability might not be diagnosed yet- we had a child diagnosed with a particular bladder problem aged 7. Was she supposed to stay in the toddler room all that time?

That is very annoying especially as they suggesting starting it. Definitely say something about it.

I had the opposite,nursery said he was ready,i said he was not.ten,no joke,ten changes of pants in six hours later they said ermmm yeah lets leave it for now.id been trying him at home but only if he was willing and when he was he took to it straight away with no accidents and a week later i was happy to take him out and trust he will tell me.

YANBU - sometimes kids need reminding to go.

YABVU. Nursery and preschools aren't home. Staff looks after 3 or 4 2yo don't they? Your child is simply not ready yet for potty training unless you are with him all day.

FWIW if you wait longer, you can do it in a weekend. That's what we did with DD and what the nursery recommends. They can continue the training with them. But your child has to ask to go wee wee. They can help with the stickers and sweets.

We waited till DD took off her nappy and put pants on herself. She couldn't learn it in one weekend. S

So we put her back in a nappy. We tried 3 times over a few months and also swap to pull ups. She just cracked it last weekend.

It is slower but it could be do e.

Oh can't believe they don't allow your child to go to preschool with a nappy. That is vv unreasonable. Plenty of boys are still in nappy after 3. If a child isn't ready, he just isn't ready.

Yanbu given they wanted dd to use the toilet. If dd is at nursery all day I'd expect at least 3 opportunities for dc to be taken to the toilet. At our preschool there are 5 times. Am and pm snack, lunch and they are taken to the toilet before going outside am and pm. Obviously they can't force a child to go, but potty training children are encouraged to go those times as a minimum and are frequently asked when they show signs they may need to go - squirming etc.

The nursery are being unreasonable to expect your child to leap developmentally just because it's convenient to have them in a different room.

Tbh i spents weeks trying to get ds to use the potty and sonetimes hed ask for a nappy back so i didnt fight i have it him because i know he would see it as a battle to have if i said no youre not having it.in the end a good old sticker for even trying to potty and a sticker and a sweet for doing it encouraged him and within a week hes great

I even got the comment " but ds is so clever"?so that means h should potty train when we tell him?