do you think this is unreasonable?

[mumaa]

We were supposed to be out with ILs for lunch next weekend and had invited them all back to ours afterward (8 inc ourselves).

Today they have been in touch to change lunch to dinner as it suits them better, we have said that is no problem but we won't host drinks afterward as given the times involved, when we get home it will be time for DDs bedtime. If we bring them all back and try to put DD to bed she would be far too excited that they are all round to settle go to bed. We have small house on 1 level.

Do you think IABU? DH has received text to say how disappointed they are and how they were really looking forward to it but time of meal has changed, if it had been dinner from the outset I wouldn't have invited them round afterward.

Nope.
They changed plans and you are perfectly entitled to do the same.
What would've happened if you couldn't make dinner for some reason?
YANBU

No, YANBU.

They be as disappointed as they like, but you've got your dd to think about, and IMO she comes before a drinks party.

Could always suggest they host it instead, then you can go, or not, as you please.

Yanbu they changed the plans.

Stupid phone...

They can be

YANBU they changed the time.

Either leave it or offer drinks for another time, depending on your relationship with them.

Seems reasonable enough to me. Is there a particular reason why they were looking forward to the gathering at your house specifically? Could you have them over before the meal, instead of after?

You aren't being unreasonable, they are. They are also being incredibly rude by texting to say that they're disappointed.

YANBU - at all. Text back something breezy like "Oh, us too. Nevermind, we can do lunch and drinks at ours next time :)'. Let them be disappointed, you have to do what's convenient to you and your family.

They could come for drinks before you go out?

YANBU. If people change plans they have to accept that it may not be convenient with small children.

If you feel you should do something, could you invite them to yours for a drink before dinner? I don't think you should feel you have to though.

Thanks for replies.

I had only suggested it be at our house that DD could be easily entertained as obviously all of her toys/books are here so thought would be easier, had told them we wouldn't be able to host assuming someone else would (which I think probably will happen).

Can't have them round beforehand as they have changed time because they are now going to be tied up in the afternoon, which is why they wanted to change the time. Said if we couldn't make dinner they would keep plans as they were but we said it was fine but can't do drinks after.