For wanting my dps family to get a real grasp on life!

[cantheyseeme]

My Dp's mum and brothers live together in a four bed house paid for by housing benefit because none of them work, i am getting increasingly aggrivated by their lack of motivation and assumption that they are owed everything. My MIL is on Esa for depression but was refused and appealed, lost the appeal was unsuccsful and she now has a tribunal date but has said if she loses the appeal shel re-appeal, this has really got my back up, her motivation for this is because if she loses shed have to look for work SHOCK HORROR. She has now decided she wants to move house and instead of looking at affordable accomadation is looking at higher rents than ours, her attitude is that shes not payiing so it doesnt matter, AIBU for wanting her to have to find a job and get some real sense of reality. I dont even know why this bothers me so much!!

YANBU to want people who could work to look for work, but YABVU if you think what you want for your MILs life matters to anyone except yourself.

OMG! YANBU. They sound dreadful. What does you DP think of it all?

this is a ranty thread which ive not really put together so well, i am just pissed offf! im not arsed if they dont want to better themselves or whatever its that they whinge about stuff that really grinds my gears when we work bloody hard to give our kids and we go without yet they can afford new computer games etc, i should add dp's bro has pissded me off calling me lazy for goin on mat leave at 36 weeks im not trying to benefit bash or owt i just wish they were grateful for what they have rather than tryna get more of everything. this shouldnt bother me i know

and dp is of the same opinion as me, i love them i really do but i could shake them!

You'll never change people like this, they are entitled having not earned it. Disgusting but really, why would it bother you so much? Let them be, it really has nothing to do with you.

She won't be able to rent the expensive properties as they will more than likely be no-HB.

I would try to distance myself if I were you.

Haha I know people like this. bella's right they wont change.

she may also not find it easy to find accommodation given that she is funded by HB. Many landlords cannot take HB tenants for insurance reasons.

depression is a very real illness though.

I have relatives who have lived their whole life like this since leaving school, so far three generations of that family live like this. It is hard to ignore, especially when you are working and struggling to make ends meet. You do feel hard done by but I have self-respect and could never live like that, my conscious wouldn't allow me to claim if I was fit and able to work. At the same time there are plenty genuine people on receiving benefits too, I wouldn't be too proud to claim if I was in genuine need.

have you read how hard it is to be recognised as 'ill' and get support with esa op.
how do you know she isn't suffering.

i live in a town where hb is taken pretty much everywhere, oh dont get me wrong depression is very real and can progress, i work in mental health and am going back to uni to train as a mental health nurse, but if you are lying to get you through a medical assessment.... also, they all claim hb seperate and it works out that they can get more, the same bro who called me lazy also turned down his first job offer in 5 years due to it being too many hours. he is also now on ESA for depression yet has said he wont attend his medical as he kbows he will fail.

YANBU

I have absolutely nothing against people who have genuine disabilities and illnesses claiming benefits, however there are far too many people out there who've had an easy run for too long. What makes my blood boil most of all is that it's usually the people with genuine health issues who get sanctioned, whilst the bone idle scroungers continue to get away with it.

Have they ever worked OP?

the Mil has had 2 part time jobs her whole 50 years on this earth, they lasted a matter of weeks, and the brothers nope.

sorry i lie, one of the bros worked a decent job a few years ago

They sound like a bunch of losers. But you won't be able to change that mentality. Let them go on as they please.