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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be saddened by the sight of a dozen kids all zombied out on devices?

66 replies

Amibambini · 10/11/2013 09:01

Was at an event recently, there were about a dozen kids there, and watching them not playing together or running around and acting like kids really bummed me out. They were all just sat individually hunched over their various screens and devices.

Sure, it was raining out and there could have been a better space set up for them, but still, it was quite a depressing sight.

I know the world is changing and screens are a part of it (irony is not lost on me as I tap out this moan on a screen!), but I wonder what kids, and adults, are losing as we replace playing with each other with the solitary, silent staring at devices.

Crap! I have officially turned into my grumpy Dad!

OP posts:
LordPalmerston · 10/11/2013 09:02

Oh fucking hell. End of civilisation.

Tee2072 · 10/11/2013 09:03

Yes. You have turned into a grumpy old person. Congratulations.

How about instead of depressing, look upon it as a hopeful sign that the world will be an even better place as those kids find new and better ways to use technology to help the world? My son benefits hugely from tablets and screens and it is making him fascinated, even at 4, as to how they are created.

Joysmum · 10/11/2013 09:05

Yeah I'm the same. I used to love going to family parties with my patents as we kids all had a ball together. So sad that these kids could have been anywhere on their gaming devices and that meant they were missing out on doing something different.

Joysmum · 10/11/2013 09:05

'Time and a place' springs to mind.

Tee2072 · 10/11/2013 09:08

BTW, what was the event? Was it all interesting to children or was it some boring grown up thing?

Second of all, I hated being forced to run around with others as a child. The only difference was I would have my nose in a book rather than in a tablet.

Orangeanddemons · 10/11/2013 09:08

Why is it sad? I am envious that the have access to all this stuff that I never had. I wish I was going to be around next century to see how it all changes the way we live.

TiredFeet · 10/11/2013 09:12

Depends on the event, if it was something grown up I can't see the harm

When we fly now, pretty much every child is glued to something for most of the flight, my son included. But in normal life he has fairly limited screen time and does all the normal childhood activities (sports, crafts, imaginary play, baking, stories...) So its hard to judge what their normal life is like based on this kind of situation

heronsfly · 10/11/2013 09:15

Im with Tee on this one Grin when I was young I had my nose stuck in a book at family gatherings havent changed much my dcs have their noses stuck in a kindle.

Chocotrekkie · 10/11/2013 09:21

If it was raining and there was no suitable set up for them inside could it be possible that this was the best option for them to be happy while the adults spent time with chatting etc.

My youngest would have been a pain with nothing to do and nowhere to play.

Are you sure they weren't linked together on a game ?

Agree that there is a time and place - I think it's worse when most of the children are running about having fun outside and there is 1 or 2 sitting in the corner on their device.

BikeRunSki · 10/11/2013 09:23

Maybe they were interacting together online ?

MorrisZapp · 10/11/2013 09:26

How would you have felt if they had all been quietly reading books?

Original poster
Amibambini · 10/11/2013 09:28

Tee2072 - yup! And why is this window wide open while the heating is on? You born in a barn? (Another Dad gem that I have found myself repeating!). You are right though, there are a lot of benefits to screens. I don't think they are evil, I just don't think they are the perfect replacement for human interact play. And I also loved a book as a kid too.

Joysmum - time and place is correct. As I said, it was pissing with rain and it was a big family event. If they could get outside it could have been very different, who knows.

I know it was just a snap shot, but it was a surreal sight. Literally 12 kids, sat in a row, hunched over with their faces lit up, ignoring everything around them. I found it quite striking, enough to bring it up here.

Orangesanddemons - (cool name btw). Maybe I find it sad because I believe in the necessity of imaginative, interactive play as building block for growing decent humans.

That said, I'm gonna put the screen down, cook breakfast and go outside with my friends! Sun is out! Lets play!

OP posts:
MissBetseyTrotwood · 10/11/2013 09:28

Depends on what they had been doing the rest of the day and on the event. You'd have been saddened by what you saw yesterday at about 5 at ours probably; you might not have known that all the boys there had been at cricket/football/bike riding/dog walking together all the rest of the day (and it was chucking it down with rain).

Like Tee I hated compulsory group fun and being expected to get on with the DCs of my parents' friends. DS1 hates it now but I still make them 'play' together when I want to see my friends!

MissBetseyTrotwood · 10/11/2013 09:30

Maybe I find it sad because I believe in the necessity of imaginative, interactive play as building block for growing decent humans.

Yes I agree, but one doesn't have to preclude the other.

sunbathe · 10/11/2013 09:33

'compulsory group fun'

Shades of the past.

Some kids are not extroverts, y'know.

Joysmum · 10/11/2013 09:38

It's not compulsory group fun I fear, it's the fact that it's become the norm for kids not to interact and many don't know how. That's the problem.

I was a bookworm too and an only child, but most kids played together and enjoyed it. Now most kids don't and don't know how. So sad.

Orangeanddemons · 10/11/2013 09:41

All the kids at the school I teach at interact. In fact it is tough to get them to stop interacting. Noisy is the word

Helpyourself · 10/11/2013 09:43

We holiday with 6 other families. Mine are older than the other dcs by 5-10 years. Over the 5 years we've been going we've gone from no screens, occasional films on TV to half the families having a shared iPad to all the dcs having an individual screen. The difference in the interaction between children and proper melt downs at bedtime as opposed to low level squabbling is startling and has been noticed by my teenage dcs. It's a lot less fun!

pigsinmud · 10/11/2013 09:44

Would it have bothered you if they had all been reading? That would have been me years ago - ignoring the world with my head in a book.

MissBetseyTrotwood · 10/11/2013 09:46

Arf @ Oranges - yes, I agree!

Joysmum, kids do game more, of course, but I don't see any evidence of lack of ability to interact. In fact, I'm meeting with one of the SLT at the school I work at next week because I have concerns that there is a particular group of boys that I teach who are gaming and socialising online together way too late into the night.

Tee2072 · 10/11/2013 09:50

"Now most kids don't and don't know how."

I don't know a single kid who doesn't interact and/or not know how. Whether on the playground or at school or what have you.

Over reactive bullshit.

Hulababy · 10/11/2013 09:50

Orangeanddemons - agree!

To be fair this was just one snapshot at one event. What about today? tomorrow? day before?

DD has days when she probably just veggies out, on the iPad, computer or with the TV. Then many other days when she is bounding round all day chatting nd playing with frinds, running around, etc.

Audilover · 10/11/2013 09:54

I have 5 DC, 4 have iPod touch's and 1 has a Kindle fire.
The other evening the 4 with the touch's were sat in the living room with DP and me. I was on my iPad, DP was on the laptop and all 4 DC were on their touches.
We weren't talking to each other much but we were at least in the same room together. When I asked the DC what they were doing on their devices, 2 were on Skype talking to friends, 1 was on Facebook talking to friends and the 4th was watching something on iplayer.
They might of been on devices but they were still interacting with people just in a different way to how I used to interact with friends when I was younger plus all 4 DC had been out during the day with each other and friends.
Since they have had their devices we actually have spent more time together as a family as they aren't limited to where they talk to friends or watch iplayer.

fuzzpig · 10/11/2013 09:55

I don't think YABU. I love our iPad and our old DS but they both stay at home as I don't want my DCs getting dependent on them all the time. They spend a lot of time on buses and trains (no car here) and don't suffer from not having something to play on. They chat or gaze out the window daydreaming. I do often take a book or pens/paper but they often don't even get used.

That said in exceptional circumstances like a long flight I'd probably take the iPad/DS, and I don't think you can judge on one incident really.

ImagineJL · 10/11/2013 10:01

I don't see how anyone can say that a large amount of screen time doesn't diminish imagination and interaction. Of course it does! If you're glued to a screen you're not using your imagination. Everything in moderation I believe, but I certainly think its sad when a group of kids would prefer to sit in their own little screen worlds rather than play together. And no amount of "it's the future bla bla bla" will change my mind on that!