AIBU to ask my husband to leave after discovering 1898 secret texts to another women!

[Joycey29]

He says I am!

Even if the texts are 'innocent' on the outside the sheer volume implies an emotional attachment. As you've said, 26 texts were sent to her on your birthday when really, if he was spending that much of his day on his phone, it should have been to you. I'd check the other times of day, it will give you a clearer picture of when his emotional attachment to her has been stronger, for instance: late at night, during family functions, when you're at work. It might be emotional torture for you but it would make me mad enough to kick him out and to give me something solid to discuss with him, such as asking him why he was texting her at so-and-so's party. Highlighting to him how abnormal it is to text some other woman when you're with him is important, he can't wriggle out of anything that way.

What you do next is up to you but I think you need to put him through being kicked out to show him that you won't put up with this behaviour. You must have some suspicions to log into the account and check in the first place though? Has he done anything like this before? Just a thought but are these texts reciprocated or is it a weird obsession?

What an arsehole. Ring her. See what she has to say!

Even if the texts are as innocent as he claims, and even if it was a bloke he was texting, it is just plain weird to text someone that much and keep them a secret.
My DH has a female friend that he text/emails constantly, I don't mind that at all. But if they were having the exact same perfectly innocent conversation they do now and I was unaware of it, I wouldnt be happy.

The volume would be an issue for me, basically he spends all day every day thinking about texting her including your own birthday.

That's a deal-breaker for me anyway. I would head over to the Relationships section where there are lots of people this has happened to.

In your shoes I'd phone her & have a bit of a heart to heart.

I love my husband to bits & think that if push came to shove I would fight for him if he ever became...distracted by someone.

I would be careful to be polite & have an honest woman to woman chat, no accusations, just called as I noticed the volume of texts which has made me worry & want to know what was going on....blah blahblah

Unless she is a complete psychopath she will be:
a\ intimidated that you had to balls to call her (I mean on her behaviour...who in their right mind exchanges so many texts with a married man)
b\ You are being territorial about you family....my DH...my domain...I have every right to know who you are
c\ Demonstrating that this goes no further without a fight
d\ You are also showing that you are a person...whose feelings she is damaging by her behaviour

I know someone who did very similar & managed to see the other woman off.

Depends on the texts.

I can easily spend an hour texting my SIL and sister going through a lot of texts.

The secrecy wod be an issue though.

if he's done it all behind your back then it's not 'innocent' is it?

People with nothing to hide don't sneak around.

It's the volume that's an issue. I have a long standing male friendship (never been anything else, never will be) but I've never met his wife and he didn't meet my Ex. Nothing suspicious, it's just our friendship, no bugger elses.

Still, we've never texted each other that much!!!

My ex DH is an ex because of this. His mobile was in my name, I had a feeling something wasn't right so checked.

500+ text to a number, I called it and a woman answered. He'd text/phoned on Xmas day, snd while he was looking after our daughter etc.

He said she was a friend and made me look crazy to his parents (I had been diagnosed with PND weeks before and was quite poorly)! They believed his lies

Took him four years to admit it all to his parents though

Get rid, he can't be trusted x

Sorry but if I was even sending 100 texts to a woman other than my wife and hiding it that would mean only be for one thing.. Hole.

Get rid, no doubt he will pull all the usual push to try to put you off it but he clearly would have or maybe even did cheat

Don't beat about the bush there frosted

Bloody hell OP, bet your furious. What a nob.