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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To move seat on the train

53 replies

feelinlucky · 09/11/2013 17:22

Because I think the young guy sitting across from me was masterbating? He was fidgeting lots and trying to strategically place is jacket across his lap. Ffs, what is wrong with some people!!! I had to move seat because I didn't really know what else to do. I can't say for certain that he was but I'm almost positive.

OP posts:

kotinka · 09/11/2013 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AwkwardSquad · 09/11/2013 18:33

And another time on the Underground, a young man de-trousered and pressed his genitalia against one of the glass screens at the edge of the seats (back in olden times again). It was quite diverting.

AwkwardSquad · 09/11/2013 18:34

Sorry, sorry! YANBU! I move if someone sniffs in an annoying manner, let alone if they start fiddling in their garments.

kotinka · 09/11/2013 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

comedycentral · 09/11/2013 18:47

This behaviour is actually really worrying. For some men that do this sort of thing the thrill is no longer enough...can lead onto peeping, flashing, assaults....worse. Could you have reported to ticket person?

pigletmania · 09/11/2013 18:58

He could have had an itchy will and balls or he could have had a bit of an erection and trying to hide it

BrianTheMole · 09/11/2013 19:00

Perhaps he had cock rot. I would have moved too.

MrsCampbellBlack · 09/11/2013 19:03

I am so not getting the amusement about this. I saw someone doing something on a bus years ago and again he was definitely trying to engage my attention and it was horrible.

I think you were right to move and hope you don't feel too unsettled by it.

AwkwardSquad · 09/11/2013 19:23

It's a power thing, it's not about sex. They want you be afraid, to be intimidate, to be controlled by the power of the almighty cock. To be unafraid, to use humour, is to refuse that attempt at patriarchal control. Doesn't mean that we think it is not serious. It really fucking is. Yes, absolutely, report report report. And if you are safe to do so, bloody well point and shout and laugh and mock. Fuck them and their attempt to control me and my space and my liberty.

Rant over. For now.

AwkwardSquad · 09/11/2013 19:28

*be intimidated.

Ranty typing.

I saw a lot of random stranger penises when I was young (why, for God's sake?) so I developed some defence techniques. Shout and point was one. 'Hit the fuckers' had to be deployed on a few occasions. What goes through their tiny little minds? What would their mothers think?

AwkwardSquad · 09/11/2013 19:29

GOD. *be intimidating.

AwkwardSquad · 09/11/2013 19:29

Sigh.

fluffyduckie · 09/11/2013 19:38

No one has ever flashed me or at least if they have I didn't notice. I am not very observant. It is kind of a weird thing to do!

quietbatperson · 09/11/2013 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wallison · 09/11/2013 19:48

Definitely report. And move. You moving doesn't mean them winning - it means that you are dealing with a nasty situation. I got flashed at loads of times when I was younger - often by someone having a good old tug just for bonus points. Stupid creepy fuckers.

beals692 · 09/11/2013 19:49

Could you report it to British Transport Police - just for information? If you're not sure, you can't really publicly accuse him (just move away) but it might be worth mentioning it in case they get similar reports. (If he was doing it, it probably wasn't the first time and won't be the last).

liquidstate · 09/11/2013 20:01

I once sat on a half empty carriage behind a guy who was watching porn on his laptop. It was about 10pm and the image was reflected on the window or I could watch it through the gap in the seats.

I couldn't be bothered to move but did find it a bit weird.

Caitlin17 · 09/11/2013 20:15

I'm currently on the London to Edinburgh train which for some reason known only to East Coast is (a) going via Newcastle and Carlisle, and(b) has just arrived at Newcastle and is now, with no explanation, apparently heading backwards south.

Sorry, nothing to do with the thread, I'm just a bit puzzled.

AwkwardSquad · 09/11/2013 20:36

Usually means that they're detouring around signalling problems but it'd help if they'd tell you what's going on.

AwkwardSquad · 09/11/2013 20:37

Doesn't explain the Carlisle bit though, that's one hell of a detour

Echocave · 09/11/2013 23:06

I was on a very busy tube train about 5 years ago and there was a bloke standing next to me fiddling in his pants (I think, I didn't look closely). I felt quite aggravated and another female passenger caught my eye and said 'is he doing what I think he's doing?' I had had a rubbish day at work and felt like decking him but instead said very loudly 'I've been surrounded by wankers at work all day and now this!' I don't know if he stopped but he did turn away. I felt really angry with him for being such an inadequate git next to me. However if it had been late at night and I'd been alone I would have been frightened. This kind of behaviour is sexual harassment at the very least.

LessMissAbs · 09/11/2013 23:14

Was there anyone else sitting near by (for safety?). If so, I would have said to him "Excuse me, but what ARE you doing?" And then "You know, it looks like you're fiddling with yourself under your jacket" as if its funny. Escalating to keeping talking over him, whilst not quite accusing him of masturbating...

Or you could have filmed him on your phone. I bet that would have got rid of him.

I can be odd that way. I remember once sitting on a train in The Netherlands, and in the opposite seats was a weird man who kept mumbling at me and occasionally shouting, in a slightly aggressive way. He did not appear to have learning difficulties but appeared to be trying to disturb me. I stared at him, unblinkingly, ignoring his increasingly disturbed questions as to why he was starting at me. Eventually he moved off, mumbling in Dutch that I was mad.

He might have been right...

Original poster

feelinlucky · 10/11/2013 08:45

Sorry, I've been away and now I'm back. With a very bad hangover. I did consider shouting loudly at him because I was seriously annoyed. I made sure my face was very stern and disapproving but it didn't stop him fidgeting and I didn't want to look too much. I couldn't be sure what he was doing so I decided the best thing to do was move. Interestingly when I was on my phone texting my messages on here I looked up and he moved to stand behind me. Fucking weirdo. When I was 15 I was chased by a guy on his bike with his penis out and another time I was flashed at by an odd ball in the park. I was only around 13 at that time and this was a grown man.

OP posts:

halfwildlingwoman · 10/11/2013 09:09

On NYE a few years ago I was on a tube on my way into town when this apparently drunk bloke was lurching around the carriage with his dick out. It was like he had forgotten to tuck it back in, but the way he was deliberately leaning over young girls hinted that it wasn't accidental. Young girls kept having to move seats. At some point an older man said "Do put it away, there's a good fellow." He didn't let on he'd heard, but he got off and moved carriages. The whole carriage had a good laugh about it, which mitigated some of the unpleasantness.
Another time I was on the Central Line on my way home from work and the girl next to me was being intimidated by the bloke in front of her. He was leaning against her legs with an obvious erection, near her face and smirking. I shudder to think of it now. A couple of men had noticed and offered him a seat. I glared at him and then asked her if she was alright. She asked me where I was getting off and I said I'd get off with her in case he followed. Fortunately he got off before we did. She said afterwards that just knowing I'd noticed and commented really helped because she felt so awkward saying something in case it was a genuine accident.

Tee2072 · 10/11/2013 09:13

Have none of you ever heard of a man getting an unintentional erection for no reason? Why assume he's a pervert rather than just embarrassed and he wasn't trying to get the OP's attention but hoping she wasn't noticing?!?!

Honestly, there just aren't this many perverts in the world.

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