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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask you to decide for me - work, childcare & chickenpox

16 replies

wimblehorse · 09/11/2013 13:55

I've been back at work for 2 months following mat leave. Dd2 (just turned 1) has just come down with chickenpox. Clearly can't go to CM for at least next week.

PIL can't help as they are away. My parents can't/won't help (long story). No other family locally to help. I can ask friends to help take dd1 to school on the days she isn't at CM but no-one who could look after dd2.

Normally, DH & I would try to both take some holiday & both work from home to cover it. But it's his first week in a new job. In theory, I could hire an emergency nanny at a cost of £200 a day to look after dd2 here. But I earn about £135 a day. Gross. And still have to pay £50 a day to the CM for dd2 & £20 for dd1. And I'm not entirely comfortable leaving such a young child with someone who would be a complete stranger.

I could possibly take dd2 into work with me once she's past the feeling ill stage (driving in, no pregnant or immune-suppressed colleagues) to collect some bits to bring home to work on & suggest to my boss that I take half the week as him & half work from home, fitting it in around dd2' s naps & in the evening.

Or I could say I need to take the whole week off (as hol or unpaid parental leave).

Or I could insist that DH has to take at least 1 day out, despite him needing to make good impression.

Or I could hire the emergency nanny, looking on cost as necessary to keep both employers happy. Though I would have to dip into savings/put it on credit card.

What would you do? My employer is pretty reasonable & flexible but there are a couple of fairly important things I was meant to do this week & I don't want to take the piss ..

OP posts:

Tailtwister · 09/11/2013 14:00

I wouldn't ask your DH to take time off in his first week in a new job. I would speak to your work and either see if you could some work from home, or take a week off on parental leave/holiday. These things happen and there's nothing you can do about it.

Guitargirl · 09/11/2013 14:02

Can you work from home? The work tasks that are a priority for you this week, could you do those from home? Something similar happened when I went back to work after DC1, I hadn't realised at the time that you accrue annual leave whilst on ML so I took the 'extra' leave that I hadn't been expecting.

Original poster

wimblehorse · 09/11/2013 14:07

Thanks. I've already taken my accrued hol (added it to end of mat leave) so was planning to use what's left for Xmas.

I guess if I call & offer to try & do what I can from home, it's showing willing. It's just that I can't do anything without going in first to pick stuff up that makes it a bit more tricky...

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 09/11/2013 14:08

I would do as much from home as you possibly can, with leave for a couple of days. I wouldn't insist on DP taking time off - and I'm usually nuts about emergencies being shared between parents - on his first week in a job.

dreamingbohemian · 09/11/2013 14:09

It's hard to say without knowing the kind of company your DH is starting with. My DH for example just started a new job last month, it's a mid-sized company where most people have young-ish kids, and everyone is really nice, so I think they might have been ok with it.

But generally I think I'd try to do some combination of all of the above. Is it possible to get an emergency nanny for half a day at a time? Because if it were me I think I'd try to go into work in the mornings then work at home in the afternoons. And, maybe DH could at least take off one afternoon, if not a whole day.

Luna13 · 09/11/2013 14:09

wimblehorse where did you get £200 per day for a nanny??? I am not sure if I can post a name here, please delete if not, but try sitters.co.uk and they charge top £8.50ph.

insancerre · 09/11/2013 14:13

phone the cm and ask when dd can go back
in my setting we say 5 days from the first spots, so if they came out yesterday then she might be able to go back on thursday. When did they appear?
could you ask work if you could have unpaid leave for the beginning of the week?
I wouldn't ask DH to take time off in his first week.

LIZS · 09/11/2013 14:19

Does cm have other children ? If not could she have dd2 for part of the day ? Agree she may be ok by Thursday.

Original poster

wimblehorse · 09/11/2013 14:24

Luna it was emergency childcare site. Am London so assume it would be the highest rate quoted. Isn't sitters for evening babysitting? If not may be a good idea if someone could be here with dd for part of the day while I work...

OP posts:

IHadADreamThatWasNotAllADream · 09/11/2013 14:26

Agree that you should check with CM if you haven't already - it's possible that she could have DD2 after all at least after a couple of days when she's feeling better - and even if the initial answer is no, because another charge isn't immune, then ask her to contact you ASAP if other charge comes down with it before the end of the week (quite possible I'd have thought).

Original poster

wimblehorse · 09/11/2013 14:28

Cm has other toddlers & before/after school. I don't work on Friday & she has 3 toddlers then so wouldn't be able to take dd if she is well by then.
Maybe sitters if I could find someone for the morning would be best plan for a few days. Thanks for the suggestions!

OP posts:

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 09/11/2013 14:29

Is your office open today / tomorrow?

I work 3 days a week so when dd came out with chicken pox (conveniently on a Friday) I worked all day on the Saturday and then from 7am - 12pm on my work days. Dh did afternoons at work and evenings at home on my work days and long days on my days off.

It was awful as dd was barely sleeping due to the itching so we were both exhausted but we got through it.

Original poster

wimblehorse · 09/11/2013 14:35

Nope not open over the weekend.
I will call on Mon but think I will offer to go in (with spotty dd!) on Mon to collect stuff & see if I can find someone from sitters to be here with us tu-thu mornings so I can wfh then & while dd naps & evenings. Then it's only 1 day hol & I should be able to get the urgent things done...

OP posts:

Luna13 · 09/11/2013 14:53

I live in London and use them, they do daytime childcare, and £8.50 is for daytime, as it requires more work, in the evening they charge less. You will have to register, and there is £4 booking fee, but it's still less than £200...

OurMrsReynolds · 09/11/2013 16:10

Personally I would take a weeks unpaid leave; that way you are able to concentrate on your DD and not be worrying about work.

WilsonFrickett · 09/11/2013 17:56

I think when you phone work don't rush in with a solution - they may say 'no probs, take three days paid and two days unpaid leave' or something which could solve the problem for you. otoh, if it's not that sort of company then good to have sorted things out first.

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