not to give a statement re abuse

[MillyONaire]

30 years ago I was one of many children who were in the care of a man who thought it was perfectly okay to put his hand down kids knickers and have a feel. In my case that was "all" he did (over two years), I don't know if he went further with others. I also know he didn't do it to every child in his care. One of the other people involved is trying to bring a case against this man and afaik many people have come forward to give statements - including some who witnessed the incidences. My feeling is that I am over this - it did have an affect on me in the years after but not any more. Also this man is very old now. I feel that it should have been tackled 20/30 years ago (other adults were told about it) and it's too late now. AIBU to not want anything to do with it now? While I am comfortable with how I feel I have a niggling feeling that I am shirking my responsibility.....I need some perspective!

OP, a few years ago I was faced with a similar dilemma and I agonised over my decision. In the end, having a dsd of the age I was when it happened spurred me on as this man still worked around children and I would want someone to speak up if they knew someone who was a potential danger was working around dsd.
I feel I did the right thing BUT:
It did bring old feelings flooding back, so much so that dh tried to persuade me to back out.
I did feel guilty that I had waited so long to say anything and questioned the fairness of him being punished now.

I got through it, he was punished, he is no longer employed working with children, I feel I did what was right. The main thing though was that it was MY decision. A key aspect of abuse is the lack of control a victim has and I don't believe anyone should be made to disclose something like this unless they feel they can and they want to and feel they are strong enough to. Good luck op, it's a horrible feeling when something so far buried in your past rears its ugly head again. I feel for you and everyone else involved.

It is your choice ultimately and I do feel in a sense that self preservation should be a priority.

If I had the opportunity as part of a bigger case/large number of people, I would give a statement.

You're just canvassing opinion right? as there can't be any concrete answers.
The only opinion I can offer is what I think I might do if I were in your situation.

I think, on balance, I'd probably make a statement saying what happened to me and say that I was leaving it at that, I wouldn't be prepared to go further or offer any other input.

I think what enrique is saying is important.

Giving a statement does not mean you will have to appear and testify in court.

Often the CPS need enough evidence to decide whether or not they can bring charges againest the accused but that doesn't mean they call people in to testify in court.

I know the people who were involved with me didn't want to do anything because they thought that would mean appearing in court.

And I totally understand their reluctance to say anything when they thought that was the case

Of course it is entirely up to you what you choose to do

Is just giving a statement an option?
I would stand as a witness if I witnessed abuse, I don't think I could not.
But I wouldn't think less of someone in your position, being a victim yourself, for not feeling able to.

OP if you don't ant to then don't. It. Ay help build a case but I agree tour only focus and responsibility now is what's best for you and your family.

not read all the posts so sorry if a repeat, since the jimmy savel case people have realized they will be listened to, i dont know how much this helps the victims that are now adults, but it helps every child from now on. all potential offenders are seeing justest being done up to 40 after the event, this is a good thing.
i wonder how you would feel if it was you little girl that had a mans hand down her pants and you never knew tell you were old and frail, do you think you would just shrug it off as to long ago to matter?

i hope you come to a decision you are happy with.

What terribly nasty thing to say bebanjo

If you don't make a statement is that going to haunt you later? Wouldn't making a statement give you closure?

Also, men like this rely on their victims being intimidated about coming forward.

I am so very sorry if this read as nasty, that was really not my intention at all.
OP if I have offended you in any way I am genuinely very sorry.

No offence taken - I asked for opinions. And have veered from absolutely positive I am right to confident I am cool about giving a statement. I am currently at the "I will do it" stage. Thanks for all your input - I find this really hard to discuss in rl.