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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? DS was ill and the school have marked it as an unauthorised holiday and are threatening to fine me!

893 replies

WeAreEternal · 08/11/2013 14:23

A couple of weeks ago DS (7) had an upset stomach, he D&V over night and most of the next day.
First thing in the morning (a Thursday) I called the school and let them know he was ill.
He was feeling better by the evening but as he had D&V school policy is 24 hours off, so I kept him off Friday too.

I received a letter from to school yesterday saying that those days have been marked as an unauthoried holiday as "although we received a phone call from you stating that (DS) was ill, we are led to believe that DS was in fact on a holiday to XXXX on these two dates"

The letter goes on to say that if he was genuinely ill they expect me to provide evidence such as a doctors appointment card, a prescription, a medication receipt or something simmilar that can "verify my version of events".

I am a medical professional, I know when when my DS needs medication or to see a GP or when he just has a bit of a stomach bug and needs rest and fluids.
Who would take a child to the GP or buy medication for D&V anyway?

How on earth can I prove that DS was ill?
And why are they even querying this?
AIBU to think this is bloody ridiculous?

Anyone have any ideas?

OP posts:
clam · 09/11/2013 10:27

Well, I don't know the legalities of that, but there might well have been "rules" to follow. A 19 year old sibling, although an adult, might not have been on your "list."
I don't know. But sometimes schools are damned if they do, damned if they don't.
But not in the OP's case!

iwantanafternoonnap · 09/11/2013 10:35

Its all got so stupid and the worst thing is the people who will truant the most so that it effects their schooling will carry on being absent despite the fines.

Is the fine per day or for period your child has been absent for?

The ambulance thing is daft as they could have easily transported your child and met you at the entrance. No way would I travel 25mins to my sons school to go back to A and E I work in! Totally lacking in common sense their!

honeybeeridiculous · 09/11/2013 11:19

Thanks iwantan my thoughts exactly

kim147 · 09/11/2013 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoubleLifeIsALifeOfSorts · 09/11/2013 11:39

Hang on though, if they have to wait until there is an adult on the child's 'list'... Wouldnt they be putting the child at risk by refusing to let the ambulance get the child to hospital?

It makes no sense. Child ill enough to call an ambulance then refuse to let ambulance actually do its job?! Bringing jt to its logical conclusion - a child could die whilst the school waited?!

clam · 09/11/2013 12:02

The thing is, the Government know perfectly well who the persistent truants are, but that they have no chance of getting them back into school on a regular basis or getting their parents to pay up any fines. So it's much easier to target the more law-abiding, probably middle-class, parents in order to get their figures looking more respectable.

honeybeeridiculous · 09/11/2013 12:13

I did go into the school after this, and got an apology from the head, and all this because I sent him back to school knowing he could be ill because of the schools constant pestering to send him back Hmm incidentally,a few weeks later after more visits to GP and A&E he was diagnosed with pancreatitis

nennypops · 09/11/2013 12:46

Not sure if a school is allowed to prevent a child being taken to hospital if ambulancemen say it's necessary?

youarewinning · 09/11/2013 13:11

You know when we watch the news about countries in civil war? People tortured etc for expressing an opinion against what the 'rulers' state is correct. We all get so upset and thank the lord for the freedom our country allows us.

Where is that freedom disappearing too?

Ezza1 · 09/11/2013 14:37

I am horrified at the ambulance situation. At the school and nursery settings my DCs have ever been at there has been a form to sign to give consent to any medical treatment necessary, in my absence, in an emergency. This includes getting them to hospital, whether it be via ambulance or school first aiders car.

What would have happened had you been an hour away?

honeybeeridiculous · 09/11/2013 17:08

Ezza1 this was my argument with the head, my DM was on the contact list and lives minutes away yet they didn't phone her, the receptionist who rang me seemed to get the blame as she was the one insisting I come home first, the head assured me if the paramedics had said they needed to go straight to he hospital she would of 'let' them go, (good of her!)
The school is now in special measures and the head has left Hmm

sashh · 09/11/2013 18:14

RevoltingPeasant

I would have no objection if that was the case.

She wanted to see my file, not everything was relevant for adjustments.

She also asked, "If sash really does have x condition" her questions and the answers were very well recorded and it was obvious she didn't believe the disabilities I have.

Finding out someone has arthritis and dyslexia and then having them stand at the front to read something out is hardly a reasonable adjustment.

doyouwantfrieswiththat · 10/11/2013 00:13

these unauthorised absence actions seem a little draconian

steff13 · 10/11/2013 07:00

As an American, I find this thread is fascinating. My children don't miss school unless they're truly ill; however, if I wanted to take them out for some other reason, I would simply send a note in saying they would be off on x day(s). It's shocking to think that the principal might have the authority to tell me when I'm permitted to take MY children out of school. And to level a fine on me if I don't comply?! Really?!

I'm sure that truancy is a problem in the UK, as it is here in the US, but this seems crazy. What happens if you don't pay the fine?

lavenderbongo · 10/11/2013 07:15

I agree with steff13. I live in NZ although I am a British expat. Over here we just let the school know when we are going on holiday and it never has to be authorised. We are treated as responsible adults who can make our own decisions about what is best for our kids.

GoofyIsACow · 10/11/2013 07:19

This is terrible I would be furious, i hope you get it sorted OP, but it does seem the person who deals with it is 'OUT' a lot doesn't it!?
Is she hiding in a cupboard knowing she is in for a right bollocking!

RubyGoat · 10/11/2013 07:28

I am dreading DD starting school. This sounds like a nightmare.

OP - the person you need to speak to re the register, can you ask the receptionist to confirm when they will actually be in?

Misspixietrix · 10/11/2013 07:58

What DazzleU said. I would get a copy of the NHS Protocol too and say as a medical professional you was sticking to their advice and the schools' Policy. What a silly thing to suggest getting a medical note for a 24hr bug. My GP Would laugh me off the phone if I tried to get an appointment for a 24hr bug. Rightly so too! Only time I have ever taken a DC to GPs is when it went on for over a week and it turned out I was right as he was dehydrated. :(

LittleBairn · 10/11/2013 08:28

We really are a Nanny state, we only borrow our children from the government authorities.
Heaven forbid we decide what is in our child's best interest, having a day off school for being sick. We don't even have basic rights anymore.

Velocitractor · 10/11/2013 08:34

I'm with Stroke, steff and lavender. I haven't lived in the UK for years (finished school in UK in the 90's) and I find this thread a bit terrifying in many ways.

The utter lack of compassion of some schools mentioned as well lack of looking at the big picture. Not a great message to teach children surely?

Bloody stressful being a parent in the UK unless you're one of the lucky few whose child goes to a reasonable school.

Peekingduck · 10/11/2013 08:47

Unfortunately, there are a lot of irresponsible parents in the UK when it comes to absence from school. As a result the government has introduced draconian measures for schools re absence that cause these sort of problems.

It's like taking a sledgehammer to crack an nut, and I think we should recognise that the government are behind this, the schools are stuck in the middle.
There is no escaping the fact that persistent absence is a real problem in our schools, and that it links to children failing to achieve. Also that while most parents are responsible, there are worrying numbers who aren't, and there lies the problem. I don't know what the answer is really, it's a nightmare.

Peekingduck · 10/11/2013 08:49

p.s. The same rules apply in "reasonable schools". Good attendance is linked more to the social profile of the school population than anything the school does.

Velocitractor · 10/11/2013 08:57

Peeking - thanks. I only know what I've read on MN (never really thought about it before) so it's been tricky working out the driving force, whether it's government policy or schools or a combination of both. It's been interesting for me to read about though. Our school system here seems to many more differences than I had realised.

OP, good luck talking to the school tomorrow. I hope it can all be sorted out, from what you've said it sounds completely ridiculous (the school's letter).

LordPalmerston · 10/11/2013 08:59

Now. I know a it about this. School can just prosecute on this basis. They don't need any proof of why they disbelieve you. It's shocking. The burden of oroof is on you.

LordPalmerston · 10/11/2013 09:01

They don't have to prove guilt. I know.

Why would they think he was on holiday ?