AIBU? DS was ill and the school have marked it as an unauthorised holiday and are threatening to fine me!

[WeAreEternal]

A couple of weeks ago DS (7) had an upset stomach, he D&V over night and most of the next day.
First thing in the morning (a Thursday) I called the school and let them know he was ill.
He was feeling better by the evening but as he had D&V school policy is 24 hours off, so I kept him off Friday too.

I received a letter from to school yesterday saying that those days have been marked as an unauthoried holiday as "although we received a phone call from you stating that (DS) was ill, we are led to believe that DS was in fact on a holiday to XXXX on these two dates"

The letter goes on to say that if he was genuinely ill they expect me to provide evidence such as a doctors appointment card, a prescription, a medication receipt or something simmilar that can "verify my version of events".

I am a medical professional, I know when when my DS needs medication or to see a GP or when he just has a bit of a stomach bug and needs rest and fluids.
Who would take a child to the GP or buy medication for D&V anyway?

How on earth can I prove that DS was ill?
And why are they even querying this?
AIBU to think this is bloody ridiculous?

Anyone have any ideas?

So now HT can fine you for taking your 'family' to a 'family' friend funeral because the HT decides that he doesn't think your DS needs to attend?

Then send a letter asking you to prove why your DS was off? I suspect he's refused some very reasonable requests for absence and fined parents for this and is now having to chase up 'illness' because many parents are using the illness/holiday trick.

I suspect this has nothing to actually do with your DS specifically.

What is overall attendance % like at the school? It may have more to do with that than anything you've done, sadly.

What an awful heard hearted head not allowing for funerals or illness. I'd write to both the governors, ofsted and the LEA if head is determined to blindly follow through. In someways the school are failing in their duty of care by demanding a sick child attends school.

Does the head get a bonus for attendance figures above the national average?

I agree with Retro, but would add my MP to the list. I think it's outrageous to be fined for a funeral, let alone their massive fuck up over the illness.

Haven't read the thread,but I would quite simply tell them that if they insist on following the course of action they are pursuing,I have no intention of paying the fine and will be defending myself rigorously.

"We are led to believe"

What very strange wording. YANBU

God, this is awful. I can't believe schools can fine you for not attending. My oldest starts school next year, I'm dreading it. ;-(

Not all schools are like this hooochy

RE the funeral, the HT wanted evidence of our relationship with the friend. HT then decided that DS didn't have a close enough relationship to need to attend the funeral of our friend of 13 years who saved DPs life in Afghanistan
Because he lived in another country and DS didn't know him that well.

To be fair the HT did have a point, DS did hardly know the friend and probably didn't need to go to the funeral, but DP and I did and we had nobody we could leave DS with for three days so he had to come.

They are going to lose parental co-operation like this.

Given the circumstances I think I would refuse to discuss this further with the school,and instead deal with the Governors and/or the LEA directly,as I saw appropriate.

I would leave them in no uncertain terms that this is unacceptable and they have started something they really need to finish in a satisfactory way (ie by explaining themselves/apologising).

I would make damn sure that they're the ones feeling uncomfortable and under judgement - defend by attack......

Omfg they literally wanted DNA test and photographic style proof?

None of their fucking business who your family know and why!!!

I've discussed it with DP, the only thing we can think is that maybe DS was talking about an attraction in that city that we had said we may go to in the half term with SIL and DN, maybe DS discussed that at school, but I don't see why they would think we had been on those days, as he wouldn't have talked about it on the following Monday at school.

The only other thing we can think is that someone has told the school that we were away, but I don't understand why anyone would do that as I don't have any problems with anyone at school.

I am appalled that the school have done this, and I hope that they will back down and apologise. I would definitely be insisting on seeing their 'evidence' that you were on holiday.

OP are you a forces family?

Because I think some local authorities have to make an exception for forces children to have time off school in term time if they have a forces parent on leave.

I know it's not the point as the issue is they have accused you of lying when DS was actually ill.

But it might help in the future for circumstances like the funeral.

The school have chosen to disbelieve that your child was ill and to believe that you were on holiday - without a smidgen of evidence.

This is a massive breach of trust and I wonder how they will propose rebuilding your trust in them.

Fuck know how they handle other sensitive issues like bullying .

That's crazy. I'd have fun crafting a response though . At the other end of the scale, I mentioned to dc1's teacher that her cheapskate father is likely to ensure that he books her flight back to the UK to arrive at around 11pm the day before school begins again after Xmas. She suggested dc take a day off to recover afterwards if that is the case!

There is no way I would be defending myself to the school here.

I would absolutely cut them out.

Tbh I would be too furious to discuss this rationally with them and would need third party involvement!

The ball is in their court to take this further and I would be doing my best in the meantime to make sure that it wouldn't be me,but them ,who would be answering questions about this.

I would send a strongly worded letter asking for their evidence and quoting their exclusion for D+V policy and NHS advice.

If you can't prove that your son was ill, could you perhaps prove that you were at home/ work when they allege you were away, phone records, screen shot of sent work emails, etc.

I don't think you should have to do this at all by the way, it sounds like the school are being very unreasonable. But I would want to clear my name, so I'd find whatever I could evidence wise to prove I wasn't on holiday, and at the same time, make a complaint about the school, outlining their absence policy and how unreasonable they have been in their requests.

Isn't that libel?

They are saying that you are on holiday and doubting your credentials.

Anyway they are breaking the data protection act, they are only allowed to keep certain information and process it within strict rules, which they must be licenced for. The data has to be accurate and up to date (and data is not just computer related, it includes paper records).

I have been known to request a Data Protection Act disclosure from organisations, they can charge you £10 but it causes a lot of hassle for them as they have to give you a copy of everything. And I mean everything.

So for your son it would be:

All registers - with other children's names removed
Any paperwork from him starting school
Any school photos
A record of telephone conversations ie the one where you phoned to say he was sick.
Minutes of any meetings about your child, or his class.
The information that has 'lead them to believe' you were on holiday, with indications as to why they believe this and not you. If they don't have this they are breaching data protection.
Basically anything else, reports, school trips, permission for activities etc etc.

It can be quite illuminating. I asked my university which generated a huge amount of paperwork and I found out one of my lecturers had tried to get some information about my disabilities from the disability department.

I was about to ask what your child's attendance level was but see it's not particularly high at all. I know of a few kids whose parents are not taken at face value when they ring in sick on their behalf - they have to provide medical evidence for every absence or it goes down as unauthorised. Though these are generally kids with less than 80% attendance and no good reason for it...

No idea why in this case they'd be querying it though - definitely second putting it in writing that you strongly dispute the allegation.

Wow OP that is mental. I'd be soooo tempted to go with the solicitor's letter approach......

sassh this is a total hijack but may I ask (as a lecturer) why you thought it was bad for your lecturer to know about your disability if you had declared it to the institution? Surely they would just want to know to see if you need adjustments?