To be really really concerned about my sister

[scottishegg]

Hi all I writing this because I am very concerned about my younger sister who is 28 she is currently in the early stages of pregnancy with her third child.
She has 2 other children two girls aged 4 and 7 and is currently bed bound with what she says is extreme sickness.
She is currently showing no interest at all in her children and is unable to complete the most basic household tasks in fact she very often doesn't get dressed, doesnt cook and doesnt dress her girls
She hasn't left the house for 2 weeks and is on the sick from work her children are constantly in the care of my mother who is 63 and works part time, my brother who has 3 young children himself or various friends ( I live 400 miles away and work full time so cannot as yet help as much as I would like)- this is completely out of character for my sister who until now spent 24/7 with her kids and is a completely devoted mother!!
She has been to the docs numerous times but just gets offered more anti sickness drugs which although helps the sickness makes her feel dizzy and exhausted.
She has suffered with ME in the past which she says isn't the case at the moment but she is barely functioning- Her husband does as much as he can to help but he is struggling to know what to do next.
What is concerning me is the effect on her daughters as well as the fact that she is struggling so much. Any advice would be great thanks

It sounds very much like she has hyperemesis. When you feel that awful, it is difficult to take interest in anything because you're concentrating so hard trying not be sick.

If that's the case, you can help by not piling on the guilt over what she can or can't do. If she has hyperemesis, she genuinely can't help it. If she's not drinking and getting dehydrated, she may need to be admitted to hospital and put on a drip.

YANBU to be concerned - sounds like she is really suffering

Could she have hypermesis gravadium (sp?) Is she managing to eat/drink anything at all? Could she be depressed?

I would suggest she perhaps see a different doctor - perhaps your mum or her husband could go with her to help explain how bad she feels?

If she can't get to the doc can your family ask for a home visit?

Sorry not sure what else to suggest but I hope she improves soon x

Yes sounds likes HG and in all honesty when I had it whilst pregnant with my son I could barely look after myself, I couldn't lift my head off my pillow let alone anything else I was so weak. My doctors were useless and fobbed me off by prescribing anti sickness drugs over the phone which didn't help. What did help though was being admitted to hospital and being on a drip for 3 days!

I'm not saying this is what your sister needs but I also ended up being prescribed cyclizine by the hospital which is another anti sickness drug but unlike the others I could take this 3 times a day so that may be worth a try? None of the other drugs worked for me so it may be a case that she needs to try a few before she finds one that works

has she spoken to her midwife about this? may be more helpful than the GP if s/he has been dismissive?

some of the anti-sickness drugs, such as avomine, are anti-histamines which WILL make her drowsy, which may not be helping if that's the kind of thing she has.

she definitely needs to try something else

She may have got to the point where no tablets will work at the moment, I couldn't keep anything down so the hospital gave me injections plus the drip to build my hydration levels back up and until I was well enough to take the tablets.

If it is HG I really feel for her I have never felt so poorly in my life so if I were you I'd try and persuade her to call her doctor and try and get them to take her a bit more seriously

Oh and I agree with the poster about avomine that was another one that made me feel worse, drowsy etc. the first lot I got given were bloody joy rides those travel sickness tablets you give kids! Needless to say they didn't work either!

She needs urgent assessment and treatment.

When you say she has been to the doctor, how did she manage to get there, was she examined and when did she last go?

Dehydration is a real possibility, and being bedbound is risky in pregnancy.

She may well need admission to hospital.

Or failing that if her doctor won't take her seriously then get her to give NHS direct a call, they were the ones who advised me to go to A&E which is how I got admitted

Oh dear - your poor sister! Yes, I'd agree it sounds like HG, and I would second her contacting her midwife, who hopefully will be able to point her in the direction of help.

You say you are worried about your nieces but, to be honest, they have their dad, their uncle (whether he has his own DC or not) and their gran helping out. When I was in hospital during my pregnancy with DD, my DSs had only their dad - who was also trying to hold down a full-time job at the time. It's not easy, but people manage and I am sure they will be just fine.

Do you have children OP? Could you look after hers for a bit to give her and your mum a break?