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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry about this child asleep in car

413 replies

StrangeMusic · 08/11/2013 13:54

There's a child about 2years old asleep in a car (in car seat) on road near my work (quietish residential street). I've been here about 10 minutes and no one has come back for him. Might be overreacting but would never leave my son asleep in car for more than a minute or two. Don't know what to do, should I report it?? Just concerned maybe he's been forgotten about, after reading some stories where this happened, and worried for the little thing

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 09/11/2013 11:27

Hi strangemusic

I absolutely think you did the right thing and I would have done it too. If the child was in a car on a driveway I probably wouldn't have been too concerned, but a car that was just parked on the road would definitely make me worry. I'm actually quite surprised at some of the sarcastic and unnecessary comments you've received on here - nobody should EVER have to apologise or be made to feel 'ridiculous' for acting in the best interests of a child. My concern would have been that what if something had happened to the parent once they'd got inside the house? They may have fallen asleep themselves or worst case scenario collapsed leaving nobody aware of the child in the car. And as awful as it is, there are people out there who kidnap children and if nobody is keeping an eye on the child then it can happen. Just because the worst case scenarios are very, very rare and unlikely, it doesn't mean they can't happen.

Keeping children safe is everyone's job and I'd rather there be 100 not-needed calls to the police about children left in cars as opposed to people just ignoring it and something bad happening as a result.

PukingCat · 09/11/2013 11:27

I think the posts saying how unlikely it is that the child would come to harm are completely pointless.

The fact is that a clearly unattended child should be reported and that it would be irresponsible not to.

crunchybargalore · 09/11/2013 11:35

I agree puking cat.
What if the child had been forgotten as a passerby you do not know for how long the child had been in the car?

Incidentally the Washington post journalist won a Pulitzer Prize into his investigation into the tragic cases of children left in cars In the us.

Oblomov · 09/11/2013 11:45

Blimey. This thread has moved on.
I was reading it from the beginning.
I didn't think Op should do anything. I didn't think she should phone 999. I thought this suggestion was completely OTT. But then I am one of those that is very blasé. I used to regularly let ds's sleep outside in garden= MN CRIME.
So I am one of those that think that we seem to have lost all perspective and common sense.

BUT, this thread has now, as per usual on MN, gone into stratosphere !!!

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 09/11/2013 12:22

The last time I read about this here the OP was a mother who had left her sleeping child in the car and patrolling police officers knocked on her door and had a very stern word. She was very upset and shaken by it, IIRC. I think if the police frown in this practice, maybe it's for a good reason?

It's definitely not something I would do or would want anyone to do with DS. Of course we can't avoid every risk and rare tragic accidents can happen to anyone. We all choose which risks are worth taking and I don't think this one is. I would have felt and acted just as the OP did.

(Don't drive so I have always enjoyed DS falling asleep in buggy, wheeling him indoors with me and then virtuously getting on with the housework sitting down with a book and biscuit I don't have to share)

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 09/11/2013 12:23

Hmmm, first attempt at strikeout did not work.

Writerwannabe83 · 09/11/2013 12:44

I remember when I used to live with my dad and he had offered to babysit my sister's little boy for the night - my nephew was about 20 months at the time. My dad came home from collecting my nephew but was empty handed, when I asked where he was my dad told me that he'd fell asleep in the car so he'd left him there. We used to live in terraced housing, so no driveway, the car was just parked on the street. I was shocked, told my dad off and then went to get my nephew Smile

My sister wasn't very happy about it when I told her.

There is a big difference (in my eyes) between leaving your DC to either sleep in the garden or be in a car on the driveway, to leaving a child in a car that is just parked on the side of a street. And I mean this in that if I saw a child in a car on a driveway then I'd be happy that the child belonged somewhere and I'd know where to find the parents etc, but a child that is left in a car on the street could belong to anyone and it would make the situation a bit more worrying in my eyes.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 09/11/2013 14:51

Christ, that Washington Post article is absolutely the saddest thing I have ever ever read.

MerryMarigold · 09/11/2013 15:45

Oblomov, is your parenting style 'crap'? Wink

CinnamonPorridge · 09/11/2013 15:53

Chrunchy, this article is absolutely shamelessly exploiting those poor parent's endless grief to get a good story. Sickening.

PatoBanton · 09/11/2013 16:17

It's just occurred to me one reason why it may be a bad idea leaving children to sleep in cars. That thing where cars catch fire - I'm not joking, they can and do from time to time.

I will see if I can find a link.

The thing is while you're driving, you'd be aware of anything like that but if you're not present then the child would be powerless and could even be overcome by smoke before they woke up.

BlingBang · 09/11/2013 16:21

Surely it is much more a bigger risk to actually drive your kids though than leave them now and then in a parked car?

Writerwannabe83 · 09/11/2013 16:24

Lets just leave children unattended anywhere in their cars then seeing as that's safer than being in a moving vehicle with an adult....

BlingBang · 09/11/2013 16:30

Now stop being a drama llama and making things up.

PatoBanton · 09/11/2013 16:31

Yes of course it is Bling. No one is saying it isn't - just that the risk is unnecessary in most cases, while driving is a massive part of everyday life for many people.

No one has to leave their sleeping child unattended in a car.

LunaticFringe · 09/11/2013 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gimcrack · 09/11/2013 17:00

Go and stand by the car. His/her mum will probably come out to find out what you're up to. If they don't, lurk for a bit and see what happens. If no one comes out after a while, then knock on some doors. If you can't find a parent, then call the non emergency number.

crunchybargalore · 09/11/2013 18:31

I disagree that the article is shameless exploitation. It raises a valid issues.

How rear seatbelts and car seats can mean parents forget about their children?

In what way?

One thing I do not get though is the people who leave their kids in a car and then say they check on them say every 5 mins then how do they get anything done?? It was mentioned up thread. I don't get it?

crunchybargalore · 09/11/2013 18:35

And I meant to say the reason I think the article does not exploit is that the article esurely expresses that this could happen to anyone rather than blaming the parents.

Writerwannabe83 · 09/11/2013 19:02

I wouldn't feel comfortable knocking on doors and asking random strangers if the unattended child in a parked car belongs to them. For all I'd know, the person who told me it was theirs could be tellingly porkies. Plus, you are then highlighting the fact to all the neighbours that there is a parent in this area who is happy to leave their child unattended and I'm not sure what good could come of that.

Thymeout · 09/11/2013 19:11

I think the biggest risk about leaving a toddler asleep in a car is some mumsnetter ringing up the police about it.

Original poster
StrangeMusic · 09/11/2013 19:16

Yes, that's definitely the biggest risk

OP posts:
SlicedLemon · 09/11/2013 19:31

I must be a terrible mother. I frequently would leave DD2 asleeep in the car when returning from somewhere and it being close to her naptime and she had nodded off. That was on our driveway or sometimes on the road outside the house all depending what room in the house I was going to be in to keep an eye out. Sometimes not always I would put the baby monitor in the car with her (when it had batteries).

But worse than that I used to put her out for a nap in her pram in our front garden with no monitor. I would do this in the summer and in the winter. We lived in North Scotland and even in the snow she would be out here for her nap.

Not one of my neighbours ever called the police or reported me to SS to my knowledge.

DD did not spontaneously combust, run away, get kidnapped etc.

crunchybargalore · 09/11/2013 19:36

I think the people being smug about this is really weird.

Writerwannabe83 · 09/11/2013 19:47

I agree crunchy