To have lost my fight :(

[extremepie]

Background: split with DH just over 2 months ago. As a result (directly or indirectly) I have lost all my friends, my job, am going to lose my home, my social life and now I feel like I am broken and have lost my ability to fight :(

I always thought if myself as a strong person, thought I was dealing with it ok on the whole, despite the fact I have no friends or family in the area (except my sister who I adore) and ex has moved 400 miles away so can give me no physical or financial support but I feel like I'm hanging on to my sanity by a thread.

Got a hospital appointment next month to see whether I need treatment for cervical cancer & I'm so stressed I don't know how to carry on and be normal. Don't know if I am just having a bad day or what but I've listened to all my 'happy songs' and they're not helping :D

WIBU to throw a childish tantrum at the universe & say I've had enough of shit being heaped on me & to bloody stop it :D

I would be stomping and screaming. That is a LOT to have to deal with!

Forget everything else and concentrate on feeling better until you have the hospital appointment out of the way. I hope it goes well x

That is a lot to cope with.i am sorry I have no advice,but hugs anyways.hope things get better for you soon.

That's a hell of a lot to deal with! Frankly, I think you're doing amazingly to be able to type under the circumstances. If a tantrum makes it feel a bit better, even for just a second, then rant away! I also recommend lots of ice cream, preferably that stuff with cookie dough in it, and regular girl's nights out with your sister. It is HORRIBLE going through a breakup - the stress on both practical and emotional fronts is just awful. For what it's worth, I think you are being tremendously strong, but of course there will be bad days. Big hugs to you.

On the cervical cancer front: I can't quite work out where you are from your post. I'm guessing you have been for a smear, had an abnormal result, and are now booked in for a colposcopy at your local clinic? If so, please try not to worry about this too much. It is quite rare to find cervical cancer on colposcopy - most women are called in on a precautionary basis and are not found to have anything wrong at all except a bit of residual evidence of HPV infection (which is normal and nothing to worry about!). Even if you take those small proportion of women whose cervix does have abnormalities on colposcopy, the vast majority of these are not cancer, but are cells that are in very early phases of change. A quick, simple zap and everything is fine again. :) Please look after yourself and try not to be too anxious about the colp exam.

Sorry about the rest. I need to ask 1 question though, ex moved 400 miles away and so physical support is tricky, I get that, but why financial? Standing orders work whether he is stood 4 yards from you or 20,000 miles from you. Moving areas is not a valid reason for no financial support.

What you're going through is more than anyone should have to deal with. I would get an appointment with the GP and be referred for counselling, or look into counselling through a charity where quite often you don't have to pay and the waiting lists are shorter.

Have you sorted out tax credits as you should be entitled to financial help, also reduction in council tax, help with rent. If it feels too overwhelming to do it yourself, ring CAB for help.

Can anyone practically help you? Your sister? Sometimes the whole picture is far too much so try chunking things down and working at one issue at a time...

How old are your children?

They are 6&5, I have another thread on here about the awkward getting-to-school-late situation :)

We've just had a letter from the HB people saying they are reducing my HB from 500 to 200 a month to recoupe an overpayment but my rent is 800 and I have no idea how I'm going to pay my rent & bills with no job. Claiming tax credits already, waiting for carers allowance & income support to be sorted.

ExH has no job at the moment so can't give me any financial support :(

Get your self to the CAB and get some advice.

Have you thought about contacting homestart for help?

Just seen one of your sons has ASD. Do you have a social worker? Have you looked into any charities that can give you support? Do you claim DLA for him? Sorry lots of questions!

Oh blimey. I felt for you with the 'late school thread'. And you have all this going on as well. Agree you should go CAB as soon as possible. Go to the local council as well and tell them you are going to loose your home. They will put you on 'special housing needs register' Wish you all the very best.

Oh no big hugs that is a hell of a lot to deal with

Housing benefit - speak to them monday with regards to the whole situation as they can reasses the repayment of the overpayment so not as much each month is taken back.

Speak to ss with regards to any help or assistance they can give. They were fantastic and supportive when my partner walked out just before my dd was born leaving me struggling on only my cb for the older children until income support was sorted. (They helped push that through)

Speak to the csa as even though your ex is not currently working it is worth starting the process and stops delays once he is working.

Finally once the dc are in bed get a put some complete crap on the tv and put your feet up.

We all have bad days but the situation is not impossible