To feel guilty about DD parent's evening.

[FortyDoorsToNowhere]

I have 2 DC.

DC1 has autism and SEN and every parent evening has bought me bad news and I hvae left feeling deflated. I worry about his future.

DC2 parents evening she has had a glowing report, ahead of her targets and doing amazing. I felt extremely proud of her,

I feel guilty as surely i should be proud of both my children after Parent evening and not just DD.

OP, of course your not being U.
But you do need support and confirmation that what you are feeling does NOT make you a bad person/unreasonable etc.
Do you look at the SEN boards for support?

YAN necessarily BU. You can't be proud after parent's evening if you aren't given the news you need to be proud of.

If the news on both your children was that they were working hard and achieving the best they can in line with their ability then YABU. If the bad news on your eldest is that he isn't trying or is being naughty or unkind or anything like that then YANBU.

No YANBU, I've felt the same. DD1 has ASD and Dyslexia and every parents evening is she's a great kid, polite etc but not making any progress academically. Yet dd2's parents evening she gets a glowing report for her academics and it does make me proud and then I feel guilty.

forty, i feel your pain!

we've tried to now separate SEN stuff and parents evening.

so we have separate appointments to talk about anything SEN related, how ds1 is getting on, IEPs etc etc

parents evening is the left SOLELY for how he is getting on academically.
they SHOULD be telling you some positives. I can't for a minute believe he has no strengths or brings nothing to the class.
and if that is the case then the school are not doing a great job with him and need to up their game!

I do get the postitives like how he is popular member of the class and the children love him and are eager to help him.

It's not that I am not proud of him, I am but I am always fighting for any scrap of help from the lea. It's a constant worry.

I am not disappointed in him

the latest assessment he got a statement in lieu.

The school as am I are not happy, the head teacher himself has made a meeting with the LEA to discuss it.

at least you've got the school on your side! that's always a huge bonus.

we're just about to embark on the statementing process and tbh i'm dreading it!