WIBU to let DD3 have school lunches but not DDs 1&2?

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I can't afford for the DDs to have school lunches, I just don't have the £30-40 a week needed so they all have packed lunches. DD1 (17) is at college and I pay for her to have a college lunch once a week and DD2 (13) is at secondary and I do the same with her. DD3 (6) used to have a school lunch one day a week but the school has taken away this option so it's all or nothing. All 3 DDs would like a school/college lunch each day so I've had to say no.

But this morning I got thinking about how DDs 1&2 always had school lunches in primary and I feel a bit like DD3 is missing out. I'm hoping to get some extra hours at work early next year which hopefully will mean that they can all have school/college lunches.

In the meantime WIBU to just let DD3 have school lunches?

Absolutely not unreasnable - The others had it when they were in primary, dont feel guilty =)

Don't feel guilty about it, just make sure that what she does get in her packed lunch fills her up and that she gets a good meal before and after school. School meals are a waste of money anyway. Over priced and mostly crap

I think it's fine if the older two had them in Primary.

I wouldn't be working extra hours just to pay for them though.

They'll survive with a packed lunch. It's only food and it's only a tiny part of their day.

YANBU to only pay for dd3 to have school lunches as you did the same for the others at her age. However, if other DDs ar not having hot lunches, will you be cooking in the evening? In which case, what harm would it do your dd to have a packed lunch?

Use the money from the extra hours for something more beneficial, to you or to them or for you all as a faily and don't worry about lunches.

No treat them the same.

Intitgrand It would be treating them the same to let dd3 have school lunch as they all did this in primary. I am presuming by 'treat them all the same' you don't mean let them brows busy roads/go alone on buses/stay out after dark just because 17yo dd can?

Cross busy roads, but you get the gist. A 17yo should not be treated the same as an 8yo, all you can do is give them the same opportunities at their respective ages.

Interesting thread. We are in a solar situation in that as if September, dd will get free school lunches. I would live her to have them. But Ds's are in juniors in the same school so won't qualify for free lunches but not can I afford to pay for them both.

In your case I would say to the older ones that they had school dinners through primary school and so will dd3.

I would treat them the same at the same age rather than at the same time. So I think YANBU to give dd3 school dinner if the others had it at her age.

For instance, you wouldn't put them all to bed/expect them to be in bed at the same time now, but at the time appropriate to their age. You wouldn't let dd3 sit in the front car seat just because dd1 does?

Not unreasonable. Your older children are old enough to make themselves a packed lunch to take in.

Do you all eat together in the evenings?

If you do then will dd3 still manage the dinner or will she be on her own with a snack tea while you eat a cooked meal?

If the others and you eat later and she usually eats on her own (just u sat there) then go for it.

I think that's what would be the decider rather than what they had at respective ages. not that I'd take our dinners as they are crap-

I think having them for just DD3 is justifiable and you can explain to the others she is getting the same as they got. If they are not happy, tell them they can have them if they go to bed the same time as her etc

Thanks for the responses everyone. I cook a hot evening meal anyway for everybody regardless of what they've eaten at school/college and DD3 would be more than happy to have two hot meals a day. The older two DDs could take a hot lunch if they wanted by heating up leftover soup, casserole, chilli, spag bol, etc. but apparently that's not an acceptable thing to do

We live in a place that is bitterly cold in the winter and I'd feel better if they all had the option of a hot lunch so I'm going to let DD3 have school lunches. I know they're crap but it's hot crap

DDs 1&2 will understand, they're good like that.

RevoltInParadise Don't feel guilty about your DSs not having school lunches, that's just the way life is sometimes!