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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect childcare professionals to know some 2yo don't always listen to instruction and like to run off

26 replies

meganorks · 07/11/2013 14:05

DD went to a taster session at a local playgroup for 2-4 year olds today. She is 2 1/4. I stayed for about 40 mins or so keeping an eye and filling out forms but a couple of the staff said she seemed fine and I could leave her if I wanted. I had no concerns over leaving her as knew she wouldnt be worried without me. Went and spoke to her and explained then left.

I arrived 5 mins before then of the session to pick her up just in time to see her run out of the building into the street. Was a bit shocked at first and assumed a member of staff would be close behind. Another woman came out and made a half arsed attempt to stop her. I shouted to DD to stop. She ran off, across the entrance to the car park and up the footpath. I had to abandon pushchair with DD2 in to sprint after her. I dread to think what would have happened if I hadn't arrived at that precise moment.

Went in to see what exactly had happened. Woman in charge didn't really seem bothered and made no attempt to apologize or reassure me that it wouldn't happen again.

I asked what happened and she said one of the mums had left the door open and that they tell them to shut it. But regardless DD should not have been in that room. They are called through when the mums arrive to sign them out. I was still outside. She also said she doesn't always follow instruction and called her challenging. This is true. But then shouldn't you make sure she is doing as you say and not running off. Then she just said 'they learn to follow instruction and do as the other children do'

AIBU to expect childcare professional to know some 2yo like to run off and might not do as they are told? WWYD if you had arrived to see your child in the street?

OP posts:
Ebb · 07/11/2013 14:09

Personally? My DD would not be going back there and I would be reporting them to Ofsted.

cathpip · 07/11/2013 14:10

Second what ebb said, call ofsted and not take dc back.

5inabed · 07/11/2013 14:10

If it is just a local playgroup run for 2 hours they are probably not 'childcare professionals' because they dont need to be registered. Thats the case in Scotland assume its the same in England. I wouldn't leave my child there again.

ouryve · 07/11/2013 14:11

With Ebb, here. I'd be withdrawing my application and contacting OFSTED with safeguarding concerns.

hoppingmad · 07/11/2013 14:14

Not a chance I'd be putting my child back there with that response particularly
Besides 2 is very young and I wouldn't imagine there are many 2 years who reliably do what they are told 100% of the time,

TheSurgeonsMate · 07/11/2013 14:15

You know YANBU. EVERYONE knows that you can't ensure the safety of a bunch of two year olds using a system that depends on them following instructions.

Isthatwhatdemonsdo · 07/11/2013 14:16

Not acceptable at all. If they can't handle a challenging 2 year old then they shouldn't be working in childcare.

Careca · 07/11/2013 14:16

report and don't go back

bloody hell

hopskipandthump · 07/11/2013 14:17

If they're Ofstead registered, I would report them. I'd also write a letter of complaint to the manager, and I would tell everyone I knew about it.

No way would my child go back.

KissMyStardust · 07/11/2013 14:17

That is a shocking attitude to have to a child's safety-i would not go back and agree with reporting them.

My dd is a little younger and i often get comments than she is challenging, pisses me off as i like that she is very independent and strong minded-i see these as positive character traits to have. She is well behaved but, for example, will not sit down for song time at playground unless she wants to, i don't force it...she's only 2 ffs not school age.

TwoStepsBeyond · 07/11/2013 14:18

Appalling sub-standard care. My DD's nursery had 2 locks on the front door and parents were not allowed to open the door, you had to wait for a member of staff to let you out. It seemed a bit excessive, but totally understandable with 20-30 under 5s to keep an eye on.

Report and don't go back.

aufaniae · 07/11/2013 14:22

"EVERYONE knows that you can't ensure the safety of a bunch of two year olds using a system that depends on them following instructions." Exactly.

pianodoodle · 07/11/2013 14:51

That's ridiculous I'd be raging. My DD is exactly the same age as yours. She walks with me nicely most of the time but I'd wouldn't even call a child that age "challenging" for taking off on a sprint!

We're just back from the park where DD started speeding up towards the duck pond saying she was going to "jump in the big puddle!"

pianodoodle · 07/11/2013 15:00

kiss Half of the toddlers at our play group don't sit down for "song time"

As lovely as she may be, I think the leader is being more "challenging" by expecting us to follow her singing when she only ever hits about one correct note in twenty Grin

gaggiagirl · 07/11/2013 15:00

bloody hell OP I would have been fucking hysterical if that had happened to me.
My DD is tiny bit older than yours. At her nursery we have to be buzzed in and out of 4 doors.

What would have happened if you were not there?.

Original poster
meganorks · 07/11/2013 15:09

The woman I spoke to is in charge and has a diploma in pre-school practice, curriculum planning and implementation so sounds professional. I found her attitude pretty shocking.

I'm gutted. Was really pleased to find somewhere for her to go on her own as thought it would be good for her. In part to get her to learn to follow instructions better! But I can't let her back can I?

The door is locked while they are in session. And I thought it looked like a good system for home time. Children wait in one room with some staff while manager lady calls out each child as their parent signs them out. So DD shouldn't have been in the room wherethe door was left open.

OP posts:
ChazDingle · 07/11/2013 15:09

DS is at his 2nd play school and at both the children are kept in a seperate room (or in one case the room was sectioned off with a dividers) with several staff, and then another staff member calls each child one at a time as their parent comes in.

My DS is 3.6 and 'escaped' through the fire door at nursery last week. However it was spotted and he only made it into the secured garden.

hopskipandthump · 07/11/2013 15:10

Are they Ofstead registered? I think this needs to be reported, for the safety of the children still at the playgroup - it could be another one next time.

Original poster
meganorks · 07/11/2013 15:13

That's what I said to her - what would have happened if I hadn't of arrived at that precise moment? Her response was 'oh one of the mums was going after her. They can run faster than me'!!
Mum in question seemed to be going with a try and ask her to stop rather than run and grab her. She had run across the entrance to the car park where a car was trying to turn in before I got to her

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 07/11/2013 15:14

I have those qualifications, and I'd report it to OFSTED in your position.

There is no point in having a good system if it isn't implemented, and clearly it wasn't.

Children do need to learn to follow instruction, but that's one of the many reasons why parents choose pre school - so that they can learn in a safe environment.

Be glad it was just a taster session, and look for somewhere else.

Original poster
meganorks · 07/11/2013 15:25

The fact it was her first time there I would have thought they would be being more careful to keep an eye on her than if she was a regular.
They are ofsted registered so will look into making a formal complaint to them. I just can't believe the blase attitude. I can only think that either DD was so challenging they don't want her back, or she just thought 'well there's no way she will be back' so didn't bother trying to reassure me

OP posts:
youarewinning · 07/11/2013 15:28

I'd also report. Especially as the lady seems to have totally forgotten that this was the child's first session in pre school and was watching other children being collected. She hasn't considered your Dd was worried and wanted to go home too (I know they get it explained etc but they are 2!) .
As for challenging - hardly a news flash that a young child can be challenging and hardly unexpected that a child who's just been left starts pushing boundaries to what what is and isn't acceptable.

The pre school should be seeing their role as adults who assist this child to learn who she is and her place in society - not as a problem because at just turned 2 she isn't there yet.

pudcat · 07/11/2013 15:32

That is so totally wrong and calling your dd challenging after only 1 session sounds as though she is trying to blame your daughter for the incident. But they are to blame and no one else.

Original poster
meganorks · 07/11/2013 16:34

Well basically that is what they did - blamed my daughter for not listening to instruction and another mum for leaving the door open. Didn't day anything was their fault

OP posts:
brainwashed · 07/11/2013 16:39

Definitely report but don't be too surprised if your complaint isn't taken that seriously. Some years ago I reported a nursery to the care quality commission after witnessing a child of about 2 "escape" from nursery, cross a road and walk towards a play park. They were only followed by a member of staff nearly 5 minutes later! My complaint was not upheld, but I immediately removed my Ds from that nursery and wasn't suprised or disappointed when a few months later the owner closed the nurserynursery.

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