In not understanding the problem?

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Okay this might be a bit long.. Sorry!

My ds has ASD.. He can't cope with the hectic start to the morning in class.. Parents in the room, very packed and loud etc.. We have now established a routine whereby we go into class, do morning work and then go out into the at ground and play football till just before the bell goes (he is ALWAYS in class before the bell goes) - this is working well and have had no issues in getting him into class since it started.. (Previous to this he was hysterical every morning and running out of class etc)

A couple of other boys have now joined in.. Again they finish there morning work first (doors open at 8:45 but bell doesn't go till 9am) and then get back into class before the bell goes.. Again no problem.

Today one of the mums was really angry that her ds had ran outside to play football as she doesn't want him doing it. She's now complained to the head teacher that if special allowances have to be given for my child the option shouldn't be there for the other children and as she can't stop her child () from not leaving the class everyone else shouldn't do it.

I don't understand the problem, the kids aren't late for school (if anything one mum said her ds was happier to move in the morning to get his morning work done so he got a reward) and it doesn't hurt anyone.. My ds is now utterly confused as this has been happening for months and he doesn't understand why it has to stop..

Head teacher is 'considering' what to do..

So... AIBU in not understanding the issue and also thinking that if some kids want to kick a football around without it impacting on their class work (teacher didn't have an issue with it prior to this) then it's for individual parents to decide?

I think once children are in the classroom it is not a good idea for them to go back out into the playground. Must be a nightmare for a teacher to police! It might be better if your son came at 9 when his 1 - 1 was there.

At our school you post DC through the manned back door (leaving any messages to be passed on to the teacher) between 8.40 and 8.50. Less chaos in classrooms as kids filter in over 10 minutes.

Great for parents - arrive at school when convenient (within window), post and leave. Job done.

Tbh it's never occurred to me that going into class isn't normal! it's just always happened!

If I dropped my ds off at, say 8.45 (our school has a winding of 15 mins from 8.45) and knew that he was in the classroom, I would be extremely pissed off to hear that he had been allowed back out in to the playground before 9 o clock. Several reasons for this, the playground is open (as people are still coming & going), it is unsupervised, and I don't want my ds to go in and calm down ready to start the day and then undo it by charging around outside.

Your ds has his own needs and you have an agreed strategy in place, the other children/parents don't.

But, tbh the whole drop off sounds horrifically disorganised anyway. I haven't dropped off in the classroom since the opening week of reception.

Jennifer but no one is 'allowing' this child to do so. His parent was there and present. The 3 children who were outside were there with parents consent!

I totally understand your point if you had dropped your child off but this isn't about someone dropping their child off and me then grabbing said child to take him outside!

Really it's no different to a child choosing to go outside against his parents wishes.. No one asked this child to come outside and his mum was present to make sure he didn't if that was her wish?

The only issue I can see is that if the children have already been dropped off and are then leaving the classroom to play football and are therefore not being supervised by a member of staff.

The 3 children that regularly play is my ds and 2 others both of whoms parents are present. Very occasionally another child joins in but again his parent is there and then obviously the child mentioned in the OP who has come out maybe 3 times since September (mum has always been in the classroom so I had presumed she was agreeable to him being outside)

If mornings weren't such a zoo, would your DS even need to get away? Sorry to harp on this, but it seems the popularity of the "football session" shows the kids don't respect or enjoy the morning zoo, either: they'd probably be happy enough to give up on football in exchange for a decent start to tge day. I just don't understand why even teachers wouldn't put their foot down and throw parent fussers out, for undermining them (the teachers).

Do people asking about the parents being let into classrooms understand what autism is?

My mum was just completing her masters in autism, and worked for autism west midlands when she passed away.

I take it all of the children at the school are on the autistic spectrum?

X posts again! So one of the mothers stays in the classroom without her child? What the hell is she doing? It must be chatting, but why in a classroom? That's not a parents' space, not a socialising space, at all. Totally inappropriate.

I was not questioning the OP going in to the classroom with her autistic ds, it was all the other parents! Apologies though if this isn't mainstream.

Op, why are the parents of the other 4 boys hanging around while their ds's do their morning work?

I disagree with everyone saying that parents not going in is better. In one of my children's schools they all lined up and went in without parents, cue lots of parents trying to pass notes, younger kids crying and having to be detached from parents as the line goes in.

In their present school, there's a ten minute period in which parents can go into the classroom if they want, write up if they are in after-school club, tell the teacher anything important, say a cheery hello to the teaching assistant, help their children sort out their coats/bags etc and say goodbye properly. No crying, no fussing and a lovely interaction at the start of the day. There's no restriction on this up til Year 6 although most children go alone into school by year 4 and earlier if they are confident/parents need to drop and run.

In this instance, chat to the Head and the classroom teacher, I can see having one rule for one and one for another is a bit difficult.

X posts, sorry 2 other boys

And in our school, there's a set (not school hours) time for parental drop-off and a buzzer goes when the school starts so all parents know to leave. Not chaotic at all.

Quick response to new things raised.

Mainstream school - ds is the only autistic child in the school so a lot of stuff is a work in progress as we figure things out.

The other parents of the boys that play football tend to stand in the playground with me chatting moaning about how cold we are We are talking between 5-8 minutes maximum..

The other boys mum (OP related mum) hasn't ever come into the playground to either retrieve her child or to watch him.. Hence I had no idea she was unhappy.

Not sure what you mean, notanyanymore...? Surely allowing parents into a classroom, willy-nilly, will create sensory overload, which is autism-unfriendly, so parents in the classroom is manifestly a bad idea for children on the spectrum, and distracting and counterproductive for NT children, too. If a child is statemented, there's an argument for allowing exceptions, but allocating those exceptions according to "statements" could be a perfectly fair way of managing it.

Parents tend to hang around to ensure the kids DO the morning work I think.. Teacher is around but not actively engaging with children at that time.. The morning work is up on the white board with a 'good morning please practise your spellings/work out this problem etc etc. I massively suspect without parents there the boys particularly wouldn't do much in the morning as it's not actively enforced..

I don't think probably wrong it's even marked.. It comes across as work to keep them busy as opposed to anything new or complicated.

I can't get my head around the parents in the classroom thing, but maybe that's because it doesn't happen like that here. It doesn't seem to be working though, does it?

I can't drop ds for 9 as that means dd is late for school.. Unless I sat in carpark with ds after dropping dd off... I suppose that's an option!

So you drop your DD off first, then take your DS for school..... surely by then the other parents will be gone??

They go to the same school but dd starts school at 8:45 as she's a reader for the reception class.. She meets them there and supports their reading.. So we get there at 8:40 usually and dd goes on ahead whilst me and ds 'hang about'

How old is dd? Maybe she could set off for school earlier & you come for 9.

I used to teach infants and, although this is not how I would run my classroom, I can see what the aim is, I think. The children are given work to settle them ready for the start of the school day. The teacher is making herself available for parents to speak to.

So allowing children to leave the classroom defeats the object. I cannot understand why or how this game of football has been allowed to develop. There is a reason for OP's child to leave the room if he isn't settling but none whatsoever for the others. So the other mother has a point and the HT has taken this on board.

It will be interesting to see what conclusion she comes to but I can see the football being vetoed and another solution found for OP's DC.

I hope it's one that works for everyone involved.

Well ds was the only one outside today. One of the mothers has decided not to let her child do it as she doesn't want the negativity and the other 'regular' was off sick today.