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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to think my step mum doesn't like me

15 replies

glittertree · 06/11/2013 08:31

Feeling a bit sorry for myself and not sure if I am overreacting ...my step mum always seems to manage to upset me and I have come to the conclusion she doesn't like me ...to put a bit a bit of background on it my dad who brought me up is not my biological father but as far as I am concerned he is my dad as he knew i wasn't his baby but stayed with my mother until they split up ..
.when he first met his wife she seemed nice but quickly turned into someone else
....she has upset me on so many occasions now I've lost count at first it didnt really upset me too much but as the years have went on I am fed up of her
...things she has said and done are when she got married to my dad had my sister as bridesmaid and brother as usher and left me out...
when she got pregnant and I said I was excited to have a new sister told me in a joking way that she really wouldn't be my sister as my dad wasnt my biological parent....
when I got married gave me nothing as a present ...
when I lost my baby who had a defect and I had to go through the birth of having a stillborn baby offered me not one bit of comfort sighed when she saw all the bereavement cards and said it was too hard to pick one and then came for a visit a few weeks later and said we looked miserable..
.cooks meals for my sister invites her over with children but leaves me out ...there are far too many to list I would be here all day but I am starting to feel so upset inside and question if I am loveable at all I seem to draw toxic people into my life I feel totally fed up ....am I being paranoid ?

OP posts:
MomOfTwoGirls2 · 06/11/2013 08:33

She sounds a right cow.

How do you get on with your dad

glittertree · 06/11/2013 08:37

I get on great with my dad I don't say anything because he would get upset and he has just had a stroke !

OP posts:
runes · 06/11/2013 09:33

Aw glitter, she sounds like a total bitch. Have you spoken to your siblings about how she treats you?

my2centsis · 06/11/2013 09:34

You poor thing!

IMO she sounds like a vile women and you shouldn't give her another thought!

But in saying that as she is your step mum it is far easier then done!

I have no helpful advice unfortunately and sadly am the type of person that really worrys when I think somebody doesn't like me.....

But hold your head high my love! You sound like a lovely person who had been through a lot and if this lady is not smart enough to see it then do realize it is her loss!

Good luck!

OnaPromise · 06/11/2013 09:39

It isn't you, it's her - she sounds very insensitive. The only thing you can do is ignore her. Sorry for your loss.

Mymumsfurcoat · 06/11/2013 09:43

She sounds awful. Is your mum still alive, is she possibly jealous of her and taking it out on you? Please don't let her affect your self esteem, she is the loser, not you.

Anchoress · 06/11/2013 09:46

She sounds horrible, but while it's obvious you would like to be on good terms with the woman who married your father (who wouldn't?), wouldn't it help just to give it up as a lost cause and concentrate on your relationship with your dad? It just strikes me, rather than being angry with her for her multiple in sensitivities, you sound terribly hurt and vulnerable about her dislike. Would it help not to think of her as your stepmother, but as your father's partner? You can't change her unpleasant behaviour, but you try to raise some defences inside yourself about it...?

glittertree · 06/11/2013 14:10

Thank you for some lovely advice I think I will distance myself for now as there is only so much you can take before you feel like cracking up !

OP posts:
scottishegg · 06/11/2013 14:28

Be polite and don't give her any ammunition but keep your distance, don't contact her unless you have to and don't try anymore to build any sort of relationship with this woman. She is constantly bringing you down and seems a very jealous toxic sort of woman. Her true colours will soon show, be the better person and don't get caught up in her nastiness and bitterness.

pigletmania · 06/11/2013 14:37

She sounds bloody awful, phone your dad up and invite him only. Arrange to meet dad away from her, or take him out just you and him. Having nothing to do with her

CocacolaMum · 06/11/2013 14:41

wow. this really is her loss. do what pigletmania said x

CoffeeTea103 · 06/11/2013 14:46

What an awful woman. Focus on the positives in your life, good relationship with your dad, siblings, etc. Actually the comment she made about her baby not being your blood sibling, be glad that you are not related to such a mean person!
I agree don't involve your dad, he isn't well so just keep up your relationship with him.

SecretWitch · 06/11/2013 14:49

Honey, some people just seem unable to love..either give it or receive it. Unfortunately, your stepmom seems to be one of those people. This is nothing to do with you. It does affect you, though. I would distance myself from her. You certainly do not need her venom in your life. Your are a grown woman able to have a relationship with your dad away from her.
It really is her loss as you sound like a warm lovely person..:)

SecretWitch · 06/11/2013 14:50

Stepmom? Apparently I am American!!

diaimchlo · 06/11/2013 14:55

How can anyone act like that, you are not at fault at all. Keep contact with your Dad if possible but yes I would keep a distance from her.

Please accept a big HUG. xx

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