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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give my sister's friends the brush-off when they want to meet up - and how do I do it?

6 replies

Saracen · 06/11/2013 02:13

My sister lives abroad. I've met her best friends, a family of three, several times when we've visited her. They always make a special effort to see us whenever we stay with my sister, which is kind of them.

My family doesn't dislike these people. They are perfectly nice, and we haven't minded spending an evening with them when they happen to be in the same town as us. We had one of them as a houseguest once when he came to our area and was in need of somewhere to stay. But they aren't particular friends of ours.

They have just emailed to say they are coming to the UK in several months' time and expressing great eagerness to get together with us. They have sent a detailed itinerary and invited us to spend part of their holiday with them, whenever may be convenient for us. They have also suggested we could drive over for the day when they are "near" us (several hours' drive away).

I don't feel they are being pushy, it is just a cultural difference and perhaps an expectation in my sister's social circle that one should make great efforts to see acquaintances when travelling. But I haven't the least desire to go to any trouble to see them, and I certainly don't want to holiday with them.

So I thought of telling them that we'd be busy at the time they are coming. But they have given us quite a lot of notice - and besides, if I do that then I'll have to lie to my sis as well because we are in frequent phone contact.

Perhaps I could say that we aren't sure what we'll be doing and we'll let them know closer to the time - and then not get back to them. But that seems rude.

Any ideas?

OP posts:
MrsBonkers · 06/11/2013 02:57

Can you ask your sister's advice or would she be offended?

ThePost · 06/11/2013 03:46

Tell them that your holiday plans for 2014 have already been fixed so you can't join them - cost, clashes, not enough leave. As for visiting, again, say that it is a busy time of year for you so you won't be able to travel to them. If they'd like to come to you for lunch one day, fine.

deepfriedsage · 06/11/2013 03:55

Tell them as pleasant as they are you don't want to drive that far or holiday with them.

Saracen · 06/11/2013 23:37

Thank you all for your ideas!

I think I will go with inviting them to our house, that sounds like a plan I could be comfortable with!

I really appreciate all of you taking the time to reply. Cheers!

OP posts:
Retroformica · 07/11/2013 00:10

Is it likely they want to be your friends?

Saracen · 07/11/2013 09:04

"Is it likely they want to be your friends?"

No I don't think so, I think they are probably just friendly with everyone. They've never emailed me before, except around the time one of them came to stay with us about 15 years ago.

OP posts:
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