To spend the entire series of Masterchef Pros shouting

[ChristmasCareeristBitchNigel]

"Do Fuck Off You Twat" every time Greg Wallace opens his mouth ? What on earth purpose does he serve except to look like a buffoon ?

"Very professional looking" he pipes up to the senior sous chef of a 2* restaurant !! Aargh ! F#%^ OFF !

NB Postscript. Yes, i am aware this is a "first world problem"

Haha DH and I do exactly the same! And "wtf is that?" At everything they cook like we could do better

I am in love with Monica and I'm not gay. But I would.
She is one awesome woman.

Seems reasonable to me. Every time he is on screen I find myself yelling in DH's ear ' I. Like. Food' in a Horrible Histories Historical Masterchef style. The joke never wears thin for me anyway, can't say that DH feels the same.

One of the sous chefs at gavroche was an apprentice of mine. Maybe i should use and abuse him to meet Monica.

Already met michel a couple of times so he's old news lol

1. YANBU in the slightest. Gurning twat. (Greg obviously, not you OP.)
2. Do whatever it takes to meet Monica. Cuddle her a little from me.
3. The lovely talented charming Michel will never be old news.

Professionals is the only MC I still watch. I love it. (And MC OZ too of course£

Winkly, he is just lovely in real life. His chefs stay with him for years - which is testament to him

YANBU even though I love Greg because you've just informed me of the new series - thank you!!

I was dead chuffed. I looked on iplayer for something to accompany my alone-in-house-means-pizza night. And saw that it was back, to my great delight

Oh I can't stand him. When he gives his opinion you can almost see the chefs thinking "who gives a f*ck? It's Michel and Monica's opinions I am interested in."

It's the same for ordinary master chef too, only care what John thinks thank you.

That's another thing i shout at the screen....

"Nobody gives a shit what you think you tit !"

DH has banned me from watching it when he's home. He cant bear the rage !

Greg is there to represent the "expert" and also the "anyone" diner / customer.
He does know his stuff as a tip-top grocer, supplier to the trade and as someone who eats out more often than in. He's there as a non-chef but a serious foodie nonetheless. He's there to represent you and me - the normals - those who couldn't really give a F**K about how perfectly a tuile is curled but instead how well it tastes, feels on the tongue and does well as it goes down. He supposed to be the opposite of the chef and he (nearly) is.

And you HAVE to love

Is that you Greg?

it was reported a few years ago that When Greg moved house, the one thing he was desperate to ensure wasn't lost or damaged in transit was his huuuge collection of, ahem, spanking magazines.........

Thank you Mini - I couldn't explain why I like Greg but you did it for me. It's the same reason why they get the food critics in - it's so easy to get wrapped up in the whole cheffy world and forget about the punters. Greg's there to stop technique winning over how nice the dish is to eat. The Yin to Michel/John's Yang. Every year you get a chef making it to the quarter finals or beyond who produces beautiful food with fuck all flavour. Equally you get one every year who's food tastes wonderful but looks like crap. It goes either way whether they buck up and sort out their presentation/flavour but if it was just Greg or John/Michel then they would have been out early on when they have a chance to improve. Having Greg there brings balance to the show.

Saying that, I had a main at Alain Ducasse at the Dorchester (3 michelin stars) which both looked like it had been chucked at the plate and didn't taste fantastic either. Although my starter looked nice and is probably the nicest thing I've ever eaten. Depending on what the Michelin inspector orders they could well lose a star or two this year.

You don't need an "everyman" to judge a professional cooking show.

And some of us do give a shit how a tuile is curled. In the main they served up a sack of shit. Was nonplussed that Greg considered quenelling with one hand such a skill. If you had to do it with two spoons you'd be fucked preparing ice cream quenelles by the hundred for a wedding every week (painful memories surfacing).

To clarify the sack of shit refers to the coconut tuile challenge. It was embarassing. Every year they blither on about "knowing nothing about pastry" - surely if you go on mcp you brush up your skills ??

That's interesting, Queen. I've eaten at Ducasse and my main course was crap, pasta that wasn't al dente, it was raw. It was the most disappointing Michelin experience of my extensive dining career

You do...otherwise it's just a big pro circlejerk.

And while I was eating the main at Alain Ducasse I could think of many ways of improving it - it was Arctic chard with chervil in a creamy sauce. It was just too bitter and needed a little bit of something sweet - a few blueberries with the chervil would have been lovely and stopped the whole dish being horribly beige to boot.

Can't watch this any more, the brown stained teeth of some of the chefs make my stomach churn ... Do they not have time to visit the dentist?

Was your starter divine Christmas? Mine was the most beautiful thing ever - it was something in a Saint Jacques sauce. I can't remember what I had for desert though so it can't have been great either.

Gordon Ramsey at Hospital road is another matter though. I can give you a blow by blow account of every course and they were all amazing - the starter, main, desert and amuse bouche are the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th nicest things I've ever put in my mouth. I feel that Alain Ducasse just lucked out with my starter being better than that given how disappointing the rest of the food was. The service was also miles better at Gordon Ramsey. It was a bit rude at Alain Ducasse until they realised that I was really interested in the food and then they warmed to me (maybe they worried I was an inspector) but at Gordon Ramsey the waiters were always there if you wanted them but never in the way and there were more waiters than there were tables. They also had the most amazing gluten free bread in existence and were wonderful about me being gluten free.

Where do you recommend in London Christmas? I've heard good things about L'Atelier de Joel Robuchon.

Hmmm, trying to think back to starter.. Will check digital camera

I do remember that the dessert (some sort of souffle) was served with a pistachio ice cream that smelt, looked and tasted very strongly of sevarome. Having used it myself i recognised it's overpowering flavour.

I do remember wondering how on earth it got 3 stars. Nothing like the quality of his Parisian establishments

We havent been out in London for aaaaages. I do love the Square.