Oh Keith in the Lemon van (yes, really), do hurry up.

[Reality]

He was supposed to be here between 7-7.30.

He phoned me at 7.30 and expounded at length about the traffic because of the fireworks (again, yes really) and the poor weather (I haven't looked but it sounds clement and isn't frosty.

He said he'd be fifteen minutes as he didnt' want to rush dangerously.

Oh don't rush, I said (generously), we're in all evening.

It's now nearly my bedtime and I can't settle. Plus I have no treat food in the house except a single Twix. Come on Keith. You're just taking the piss now.

Who would like to place bets on his arrival time?

Winner can have the Twix.

I bet 9.05pm! But what a pain in the arse.

9.07

He'll say that the police stopped him going one way becasue of a display somewhere.

Phone him and ask how much longer he'll be.

He's just turned up/ So nearly an hour and a half late. He twittered on about hold ups and then added, ah well, if I work late they pay me overtime rates.

...anyone else think ol' Keith was just sitting in his van round the corner in between jobs?

Grr.

Eat the twix and give him the wrapper as a tip.

is he there yet?

X-posted.

Are all your snacks intact? Was he sitting in a layby filling his face with your biscuits?

Phone up and complain. Cheeky bastard.

That cheeky shit! Ring and complain and tell them what he said. Gutted that I didn't win the twix though.

Want me to smite him for you?

If you ring and complain you can get the delivery charge refunded - I have done this a couple of times when the Ocado driver was very late (and in one case when the driver arrived very early, waking me up before 6 am!).

Tom in the raspberry van was wonderful today...
Polite little voicemail enquiring if he could arrive a little early. I said yes, but a big skip van was blocking the road and my pathway. So I got him to pass stuff over the wall while we exchanged pleasantries.
I got £25 once when they emailed me in the night to cancel my morning delivery. Spent the £25 on cava in Morrisons the next day. ;)

Definitely email them, you will get a voucher.

That's not like them, he won't do well on the "rate my driver" emails

I'm still waiting for Jesus in the cabbage van. Wistful sigh.

Where was the mnetter who had her shopping delivered by Jesus?

They are obviously a bit fucked tonight, I'm waiting for Stuart in the Raspberry van to arrive and had a text telling me he'd be late. Since I'd chosen the last slot of the day, that'll be v late indeed.
I delayed going to hospital when in labour cos we were waiting for the blimming Ocado van to arrive. Meant by the time I got there there was no opportunity for pain relief. Would have thought that deserved some kind of free wine or something.

free champagne i would say domesticslattern ;)

My friend had a delivery go missing entirely...missing presumed stolen

I realised this morning that half the delivery was missing, no cereal, wraps, crisps etc. So that was useful for having breakfast and making lunches .

Anyway. I phoned them and the guy knew exactly what I was missing (I assume it had all gone back to the depot), so they've refunded it, reordered it for tomorrow and given me a £10 voucher.

Which I was fine with until I realised that my refund was £22 and my new shopping was £28. £6 of BOGOFs etc that arent' current.

I AM MASSIVELY PISSED OFF.

What are you all on about? Lemon and raspberry vans?!!

I got a pot of fancy yoghurt once that was nearly a month out of date . I photographed it and e-mailed them, and promptly got a refund. However they then charged me extra for the other (in date) pot I'd received, because yes, it was on offer.

I'm waiting for Charlie in a Lemon. He'd better not be late, or the DCs won't be having any dinner.

My friend had Mac in the Apple van earlier this year. Amused me massively. Every week I check my text in hope but sadly I'm yet to meet Mac

Brian in the Courgette van brought me my free champagne this week. he was lovely. 10 mins early, as polite as a polite thing from Politesville and very helpful (despite the fact I live down an unlit unmadeup cart track.
Thank you Brian.