To have interfered with neighbour's new baby?

[rockybalBOOOOa]

New neighbours moved in a couple of months ago. Their English isn't brilliant but we have chatted a bit and their son is in the year above DS1 at school. Mrs Neighbour had a baby on Thurs, 3 weeks early. I was off out for a walk with DS2 and DS3 when I saw a taxi outside their house (they don't have a car). Mrs N came out with the baby wrapped in an outfit and bizarrely a towel, Mrs N came out with a car seat and they were trying to get the seat in the car as the hospital MW wanted to check the baby for jaundice. This was the first time I had seen them since the baby was born so made some small talk and then realised they had no idea what they were doing with the car seat (and not did the taxi driver). Mr N said car seat was given to them by a friend, I offered to help (as car seats must be a nightmare if you don't use them regularly) and quickly realised that the seat didn't have the little buckle bit to clip the shoulder straps into. Mr N asked me if they could go with Mrs N holding the baby or whether they had to use the car seat. I said car seat and in the end, I got DS3's car seat out of my car, showed them how it worked and sent them off to the hospital in it with my phone number on the basis that they would bring it back tonight and I'd come and pick them up from the hospital if necess. The baby still wasn't strapped in properly because I unwrapped the towel to find the baby's legs to put the bottom part of the strap through and she kind of moved it and wrapped it up again plus the head hugger bit of the seat for tiny babies wasn't in the seat because DS3 has outgrown it.

I feel a bit uncomfortable about the whole thing and if I was sticking my nose in and being really patronising, am I being daft? Are they going to think of me as the nosey neighbour who muscled in? I am trying not to think about how they got the baby home from the hospital (I don't think she had a homebirth). The bus runs from the next road right to the hospital so they could have got that I suppose. Even if they had put the baby into their seat not strapped in they had no idea at all how to use the seatbelt to strap the seat in. It terrifies me. Ok the hospital is 10 mins drive max (probably more like 5 outside of rush hour) but still.

Tell me I've done the right thing please? Or if IWBU, how should I have handled it?

I think you did a lovely thing, and they will be grateful to you.

Do they have their own car?

Hopefully not, and it will be back to buses from now on - perhaps just a one-off?

And even if they did feel in any way uncomfortable about it, you still did the right thing for the baby!

You offered, they accepted, they asked, you answered.

I can't see how that's being nosey or patronising, I'm sure they were glad of the help

I think it was nice of you to help. I am sure they will just think you were being kind

It sounds as though you offered helpful advice, and if they hadn't wanted any they probably wouldn't have asked you the question about whether she needed to go with the car seat. It was nice of you to lend them your ds car seat, I don't think that's patronising at all. You don't need to be 'terrified' about how they got their baby home though.

However, isn't the law that taxis don't need baby car seats but all other vehicles do? Not 100% sure but I do think I read that recently.

I wouldnt of minded someone telling me how to use a car seat when id just had ds, it would of saved us from panicking outside the hospitalm crying all the way home even though we were going at 5 miles per hour, then saved the wasted hours spent on youtube trying to figure out how to actually fit the said car seat.

I expect they got a taxi back from the hospital.

Its perfectly legal in the uk to do so without a baby seat. I wouldn't but it is legal.

What's bizarre about a towel round a baby? Many items can be duel use.

What car seat on the market says the head hugger bit is anything other than a comfort device?

Nice of you to lone a seat but if you came across to them as you do in your op then it won't have looked like a nice thing more a judgemental arse thing tooth sucky thing.

I think you were v kind. It is legal to travel in a taxi without a car seat (god knows how/why!) but surely safer the way you did things.

I guess the towel was for mopping up puke? Or they had no clean blankets.

YWNBU, you were doing the right thing by the baby and whether they see it as a bad thing or not just depends on what sort of people they are, hopefully they're okay :)
And I would have appreciated being taught how to use a car seat too lol I didn't have a clue the first time I used one!

My PFB was regularly swaddled in a nice NHS towel. Quite stiff so she couldn't move a muscle. Many is the time I wish I'd nicked it when she wrestled her way out of my nice organic cotton swaddling cloth...
You did a nice thing, don't sweat it. They must have been very stressed about the jaundice and just wanted to get to hospital quickly. Legally they could have travelled without the seat at all so your sons seat strapped in properly with a slightly free range baby was a better option than a free range seat plus free range baby.

That was a lovely thing you did there - have some I bet they were grateful

You not only did the right thing but they are so very lucky to have someone like you as a neighbour. I hope you will continue to befriend them. People like you make the World a better place.

If I were them you'd have been a lifesaver!

I remember travelling once up to visit family with my daughter when she was 10 weeks, going through security I couldn't for the life of me get the new stroller to go down and was stressing my nut off (OH wasn't with us, I had baby in arms - you can imagine)! A lovely lady came over and took the buggy from me and showed me how to fold it down (I'd missed a button) and I couldn't have been more thankful!

It's stressful enough barely knowing what to do with a tiny baby, never mind when other things to wrong so I think you did a lovely thing!

I think you were a lovely neighbour. good for you. bet you just wanted to cuddle a newbie!!

I'm with sock on this one sorry.

Sock and Strawb: I meant the fact that it was wrapped up in the towel so that you couldn't get a car seat strap between its legs was weird, not the actual towel. Although thinking about it, that's how Prince George came out of hospital (albeit in an exorbitantly expensive muslin not a towel) so if it's good enough for the future king...

And I can confirm there was no sucking of teeth on my part, I was just trying to help them fit the seat as they looked panicked. It was the foisting my seat on them bit that worried me. But as most people have said they would be pleased in that situation I feel a bit more relaxed. No sign of them home yet, I wonder if they'll keep the baby in. I don't have any experience of jaundice.

Oh and on the head hugger point I thought that was for essential support for a newborn rather than comfort per se.

Oh and on the legality bit (sorry for the repeat posts, I'm feeding ds3 as I type and keep getting distracted!) they had obviously intended to use a car seat as they had one, they just didn't know what to do with it and it was missing the buckle strap.

Ive stopped and helped neighbours sort their newborn and carseat out properly before. Not unlike people helping me in the same way when I had a new born .

Theres a difference between interferring and helpful.

I too thought the head hugger was to support the head and keep the neck straight? Not part of the crash safety but part of general keep newborns heads up ...