to not want to see my "DM" ever again?

[babyperks]

She's poison. Been an alcoholic since I've been a young teenager (may have been longer than that, who knows). At 15 years old, telling me it doesn't matter if I have a baby because she'll look after it. (I wasn't even sexually active!!) Sacked me from the family business when I was 25weeks pregnant just because I wouldn't pick her grandson up from school(I don't speak to this child's mother because she kicked off one Christmas by attacking 3 members of my family, including me). Takes sides and slags every one of her kids off.
She's now kicked off at me because I have asked my brother(who she hasn't spoken to, or seen his kids, since Christmas because she didn't receive a present, even when she specifically said she didn't want anything) to have my 9mo DS overnight so me and DP can go out for our birthday meal. I mean, why wouldn't I want to leave my son with someone who can't go past 8pm without having a triple vodka and lemonade, and then keep going until you can't remember anything the next morning. Of course she doesn't think she's an alcoholic, because she can't ever remember drinking the night before!!!
I will now be the 4th child of hers to not want anything to do with her. Surely that says something about her and not about us? None of her family want to know her either.
To be honest, I know INBU, but I just can't fathom how a woman can treat her children the way she does. Unfortunately I am living under the same roof as he's until we can find something else, we were meant to be saving to buy a house, but now that has gone out of the window!!

I'm so sorry for the massive rant. Just really needed to vent, I now feel better

Glad you feel better! Have some x

Probably not helpful when your moaning about an alcoholic mother! Sorry!

I am NC with my mother. Best decision I ever made. Although mine is not alcoholic she is toxic, malevolent and best avoided.
At least you will know that your DC will be spared the contact with her and you can start your own healing journey away from her.

Hurts tho. When parents choose alcohol over theiSympathies if you do.t gets easier as your own family grow older, as you get wiser. Best thing to do with toxic people is get rid. Imagine them as a noxious sustance. You wouldn't want it in your home or near your family.
Confused by the last bit. Do you live with her? Sympathies if you do.

OP you have my sympathy here. My 'd'm is also an alcoholic and you have to resign yourself to the fact they live in a very self orientated world.
My biggest bit of advice to you is to move out. It will undoubtedly take you much longer to save for a house if you have to rent but I have found that my life is so much easier and drama free the less contact I have with her.
You can still have a relationship with her (if you want) but she is a grown woman as are you and you need to separate your lives Bit for everyone's sake.

I think you need to move out urgently. Someone who sacked their own heavily pregnant daughter will have no hesitation in throwing you out on the street at a moment's notice. Vent away, it sounds like an awful situation, but you need to act.

but I just can't fathom how a woman can treat her children the way she does.

Because - she is an alcoholic!

Its tough having an alcoholic parent - I had one - but I would never have relied on mine for anything because I would only have been let down or attacked.
You are staying in her house so you cannot really complain about her.
Alcoholism is an illness. You cannot have expectations of someone who relies on drink.

In July, we moved back home to help save for a house as we were living in a small 1 bed place and we couldn't afford to stay there. Since then, my partner has bettered his job and we are much better off financially so we can afford to rent something bigger. We've just always dreamt of owning our own home. But our happiness is more important and I'm too afraid of the stress of living here will cause us to separate, which would break my heart.
I just can't wait to be rid of it all!!
I don't think I'll have anything more to do with her, only because I know she won't bother with me once I'm gone. And the thing that makes me certain I'm doing the right thing, is that when I think of never seeing her again, I feel nothing. That means something right?
I need to do this for my family.
And thank you for the wine I know that I can have one glass and be fine, whereas she'd need a few bottles!!! thanks everyone.

Davsmum- you're so right, I just wish I listened to my partner before moving back. He knew this would happen and I've put us all in this situation. I'm so annoyed at myself for letting it happen

You have to do what's best for you. Unfortunately, sometimes, when dealing with an alcoholic that does mean distancing yourself from them.

Good Luck!

I have been NC for a over a year. I delight in the fact that I will never have to speak to her again. Honestly, it's such a relief, it's wonderful. She too was toxic and is still trying (somewhat unsuccessfully) to be a poisonous hariden. I can ignore and it's brilliant.

Yes I feel like my life will be so much happier without her in it. She told me last night that she fucking hates me so I presume she feels the same. Like a said, I'll be the 4th child she doesn't speak to, and the 5th grandchild she won't see, and a 6th when we plan to have another. Her loss. I'm praying we can find something asap.