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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I probably am being unreasonable...school Christmas cards...

88 replies

ICameOnTheJitney · 04/11/2013 22:39

Two forms came home today...one with each child of mine. A sample card came with each...designed by DDs....five pounds a pack of 12 cards...all the same design obviously...designed by the kids....money due in this Friday.

See...I love my DC artwork but this is obviously teacher led...so it's not got much of their personality in it at all....but both DDs are excited to get their pack of cards. That's a tenner which for me, at short notice is not simple.

I am on a tight budget....AIBU to think that this is a kind of emotional blackmail that schools should not indulge in? 300 kids...all paying a fiver each...that's a nice profit isn't it? I volunteer, give my time when I can...to raise money....I resent being pressed to buy these cards...I know I don't HAVE to...but my children will be disappointed won't they? Or think I don't like their efforts. I wouldn';t have minded so much if they'd given me another week to pay but the cash MUST be in for Friday or no cards.

OP posts:

Crowler · 05/11/2013 07:25

You've just reminded me that I missed the deadline for my son's Christmas card. Oh dear.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 05/11/2013 07:29

We had these too. We are going to do our own at home, we have a scanner and a printer so boys are going to do their own design which I can then copy for much less than a tenner.

BatmanLovesIckyBarry · 05/11/2013 07:30

Just don't buy them! See, I don't understand all this 'my child will be disappointed' nonsense. It's a lesson to learn in life, and sometimes you just have to say no.

SweepTheHalls · 05/11/2013 07:36

I think they are lovely. Much nicer to send cards designed by our children than a random graphic designer. I try to buy charity cards anyway, and it's great to support the PFA who the directly support the school with being able to provide the nice extras that make their education really enjoyable, so a big thanks to all the volunteers that coordinate it!

Worriedkat · 05/11/2013 07:48

I got DH to colour photocopy ours and the kids can stick the pictures on folded pieces of card if they so wish. But then I have all boys and they really couldn't give a monkeys about cards.

3bunnies · 05/11/2013 07:53

We now have 3 dc and it does feel as if we are cruel not ordering them. Ended up getting gift tags, though don't know how will use 30 gift tags, but was cheaper. I think next year if we get a decent printer might do our own and put £3 extra in at Christmas fair. Trying to ignore the shoe box requests, Christmas fair, Pudsey day etc. Though will inevitably give in. I would explain to 9yr old that they can keep the sample for their wall and still get to design individual cards for GP etc.

Shodan · 05/11/2013 08:02

Ds2's cards were £6 for 12 cards and you could only get gift tags as add-ons!

Unfortunately it took so long for us to decide how many packs to buy that we missed the deadline. What a shame.

comingintomyown · 05/11/2013 08:14

I used to love my DCs cards done via this scheme

If I hadnt of liked them I wouldnt of bought them and wouldnt have felt I needed to worry about it

YABU

birdybear · 05/11/2013 08:26

you are getting annoyed at people who are telling you just say no to your children if you don't want or can't afford to buy them. save your annoyance for yourself if you don't have the ability to say no to your children! my 6 year old come home with her card and i just said its very nice but we can't afford to spend all that money. no brainer with me and a lesson learnt for her. we can't have everything we want. a valuable life lesson. just say no , they are your children, not your boss!

BlackholesAndRevelations · 05/11/2013 08:27

We do a scheme like this and nowhere near all of the children buy a pack; they won't be the only ones if you say "no, I've already bought our cards! What a shame but never mind". We work hard to teach kids to be resilient and I know it's heartbreaking as a parent but it will do them such a favour in the long run to learn to deal with disappointment and move on.

WooWooOwl · 05/11/2013 08:30

I love school made cards, and I'm going to miss them this year now that mine are both sat secondary!

YABU, the school does this to raise money that they actually need. I can assure you they don't do it to piss parents off.

If you don't like it then say no to your children. Yes they will be disappointed, but that's not the schools fault. Lots of children and parents like the cards and the schools need the money. It's win win really, apart from the few that don't like it. But then they don't have to take part.

Ragwort · 05/11/2013 08:30

I don't get all this hand wringing about not wanting to disappoint your children; surely it is an important life skill for children to understand that you just can't afford everything you would like to buy.

JUST. SAY. NO.

My DS has gone off to school today in a huge strop because he doesn't like his charity shop rain jacket, I refuse to buy him a 'designer' label jacket - I did point out he has a savings account and can buy his own Super Dry jacket or whatever he wants.

We all have to understand that we can't afford everything in life.

FeisMom · 05/11/2013 09:16

Our school did them one year, most parents thought they were too expensive so the uptake was low and the PTA ended up funding the shortfall of those who did order.

If you can't afford them then tell your DCs that.

Given that the profit to the PTA is only £1 it doesn't seem like a very efficient way of raising money given all that Norman has said it entails - a non uniform day raises a £1 per child at our school and is minimal effort all round.

MiaowTheCat · 05/11/2013 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marmaladeandguitars · 05/11/2013 09:25

£6 for 12 in DD's school. I refuse to do it.

I refuse to do it. If I want to send people cards made by DD, well, we have lots of white card, felt tips, and glitter glue in the craft drawer.

givemeaclue · 05/11/2013 09:26

I don't buy them, kids aren't bothered.

SheldonsMeeMaw · 05/11/2013 09:40

DD2's school does them. A parent with their own printing business makes the cards at cost price so all the profit goes straight to the school.

I love the cards, I always keep one back to put in the memory box. The relatives seem to love getting them as well.

God forbid the dreaded PTA try and organise a fundraiser to support the school. Buy them, don't buy them, but don't moan when other people try and raise money for your child's school. Just say no. It's easy, your child will get over it.

IHeartKingThistle · 05/11/2013 09:42

I've just paid for mine. £6 for the first 12 then £4 a pack thereafter. You can't get nice Christmas cards for much less than that anyway!

diddl · 05/11/2013 09:54

Say no!

Buy blank cards & let them make their own that way!

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 05/11/2013 09:57

This year DD (Y1) missed the card making because she was off sick. I wouldnt have got any anyway- they're a rip off. Lat year I didn't either. I told my just turned 5 year old that although she had "drawn" a lovely picture (coloured in a template of a wobbly christmas tree just like the rest of the kids in the school) we wouldnt be buying them because they cost too much for what they were. More crucially I didnt have the money. right in the middle of 2 paydays.

I bought some cheap cards from aldi instead that you can put photos into and let her decorate (well draw pictures inside) and choose a picture of her and DS to put in each one for them to send to special people (nanny, favourite aunty, gran and grandad etc). She accepted this. I'm sure your DC will too! No harm can come from telling your children some things cost too much. My mum did with me from an early age and it made me a lot more aware of what things cost than other kids the same age as me.

FeisMom · 05/11/2013 10:06

I don't think the OP is moaning about people raising funds for the school, I think - and please correct me if I'm wrong Jitney - the OP is saying that because it is your DCs creation, you feel emotionally guilt tripped into spending £12 on cards that you wouldn't have otherwise spent.

Whereas a £2 donation is not such a significant sum to donate (which is the net gain for the PTA).

notso · 05/11/2013 10:10

I did the first year because DD made it sound as if she had won a Christmas card competition.
I haven't bothered fe the past few years as they don't send a preview card so you don't know what you are getting. I also prefer the DC to do their own cards at home.
Last year they all had to draw a picture and this company mounted and framed them and we could buy it for £7.50. I bought DS's as it would have been the only one left if I didn't but he is the first to admit it's not his best work! I don't know why the school don't just do it themselves and get all the money though.
Until very recently our school PTA was run by a quite horrible bunch of women who refused to let anyone else 'in' but gave us all the guilt trip as they had sooo much work to do. I didn't feel they used the money they raised wisely and they over charged for a lot of things. Thankfully their children have left the school now and the new PTA is much friendlier.

Original poster

ICameOnTheJitney · 05/11/2013 10:33

Feis that is it exactly! Of course I agree with fundraising but this style of it is shit. As someone else said, I'd rather just give the pound to the school for a non uniform day or something...I raise money myself for school! I bake cakes, volunteer to help the DC make christmas decorations to sell at the fair....all that stuff is good...the decorations go for about 1.50...I fill jars with sweets, sell raffle tickets...great! But these cards...at 5 quid a pop....not good.

OP posts:

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/11/2013 10:59

chill Jessica and stop shouting for heavens sake. If you can't afford them don't buy them but if you can then I think it's a nice thing to do for your DC, for the school and for the relatives who receive the cards.

roulade · 05/11/2013 11:06

The letter we got with ours at my son's school said that the school got 50p out of every £1 spent so the £8 I spent on cards and gift tags made £4 for the school. A lot better than £1 a pack.

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