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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a two bedroom house is big enough if you only have one DC?

107 replies

unlucky83 · 04/11/2013 19:14

Listening to Radio 4 You and Yours today talking about the new government help to buy scheme...and how hard it is to get approved.

(Was a bit distracted - but pretty sure these fact are right)

Heard something that the more I think about it -the less it makes financial sense to me...

They had someone saying they have a 2 bedroom house and have had a baby - their DC's nursery has 'to double as a spare room'...ideally they need a bigger house so DC can have their 'own room' Hmm

  • but can't get approved for the scheme...
(They bought with 100% mortgage, were in neg equity for a while but now could make a 5% deposit from the equity in their house)

So AIBU to think that 2 bedrooms should be enough - if money is tight - and if they can afford to pay a bigger mortgage they would be better off paying more into their current mortgage for a couple of years to increase their equity/reduce their interest (or even a savings account)! rather than borrowing more money and taking on a bigger mortgage/debt for something that (IMO) is not essential?
(Or am I missing something here? Confused)

OP posts:
nocheeseinhouse · 04/11/2013 22:17

I don't think you can judge from the outside whether someone "needs" a "spare" room.

We have lived without a 'spare' room, and it was difficult. Single parent shift worker, babysitter asleep in my bed, me finishing shifts at 4am then having to either get sofa bed out, or share a bed with my child (no room for an extra bed in that room).

There can be all sorts of situations where a 'spare' room is pretty essential, and modern new builds are often too open plan to allow some of the living space to be converted for sleeping for anything other than a night here and there.

"Help to buy" isn't a benefit, you know. It has to be paid back.

pointyfangs · 04/11/2013 22:18

A spare room is a luxury, but given the size of new builds these days I can't really blame people for wanting more space. You can thank Maggie T for this, by the way - her government abolished minimum space requirements. Hmm Houses in most of Europe are much, much more spacious and even our house (built in 1985) is a vastly spacious 3-bed compared to what is being sold as a 3-bed now.

Sunnysummer · 04/11/2013 22:18

That said, it is frustrating to see so many empty nesters in giant houses bought before the property boom and now worth crazy amounts (and in cases like my grandmother, getting significant amount of government and NHS help to stay there 'independently') while so many growing families are squishing into tiny flats requiring massive mortgages or rents and long commutes.

Preciousbane · 04/11/2013 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReallyTired · 04/11/2013 22:43

The biggest issue is the banks being ridicolous about mortgages and lending. "Help to buy" is to help the economy rather than individual families. I feel that the goverment should put pressure on banks to relax their criteria for lending a little bit rather than goverment loans, otherwise we will end up with the boom and bust cycle.

100% mortgages are silly, however many banks have gone the other way and are insisting on 25% desposits whch is impossible for many people.

Caff2 · 05/11/2013 01:35

When we had one child, we always lived in 2 bed houses. We upgraded to a three bed when we had DS2, but really only because there's a twelve year gap between our children. If we have to downgrade to a two bed again, which is looking a bit likely for various disastrous financial reasons, the kids will have to share. Which will annoy the eldest, but won't kill him. hopes can cling on to current house

themaltesefalcon · 05/11/2013 03:04

I love it when people talk about the government guaranteeing this, providing that, funding that.

There is no such thing as government money.

Only ours, yours and mine.

Utter ludicrous scheme. And don't get me started on 100% mortgages. Especially people who claim to own their own home when they have such a huge mortgage (or, for that matter, negative equity).

The whole system needs a drastic overhaul.

themaltesefalcon · 05/11/2013 03:09

In the country where I live, three generations of people often live in a one- or two-roomed flat.

I think the majority of Westerners have ludicrously inflated ideas about how much stuff they need, and that includes personal space.

(For all that, I'm pleased my in-laws live in another country.)

MidniteScribbler · 05/11/2013 03:49

You can "want" many things. What you "need" is completely different. I started years ago in an absolute dump, worked my butt off to renovate, sold it, and worked my way up the housing ladder. But I am noticing a lot more in the last couple of houses that I sold that younger people are definitely saying that a "need" is something that we would have said years ago was a definite "want". People in their twenties "needing" swimming pools, billiard rooms, etc. We all have a wish list of things we'd love to have in our houses, but you also need to be realistic. "Champagne tastes and beer wages" was one of my mothers favourite sayings.

MummyPig24 · 05/11/2013 06:19

We have two bedrooms and very soon we will have 3 children. It works fine now with just 2 children sharing but I don't think we can make it work with 3. We will have to move but I don't know if we can find a house in our price range with 3 beds.

A spare room is a luxury, not a necessarily. Luckily for us our families live close so we don't have visitors needing to stay, but for some people they feel they need the spare room I guess

Crowler · 05/11/2013 06:27

We lived in a 2 bedroom flat with my firstborn right up until the time that my second was born.

We were young-ish (30-33) and we had less money.

Blissx · 05/11/2013 06:44

I agree with you, OP. I have a 7 year old and my DH and I live in a two bed Victorian terrace and have been since DD's birth. So, basically, we have one and a half bedrooms as it is not a large terrace! Family members on both sides assumed we would move to a 3 or 4 bed as soon as we found out we were having a baby and still comment on when will we move. Finances (we are in South London) and convenience mean we have no plans to move. We have a perfectly good sofa bed in the living room should anyone wish to stay and lo and behold, in 7 years, no one has come over to stay-the situation has never arisen! Definitely an odd case study to put forward on the radio programme as I don't feel that they necessarily HAVE to move.

bearleftmonkeyright · 05/11/2013 06:49

I heard the program. The impression I got was that the house was there first and it just wasn't big enough and they wanted to move on. This is something we were able to do easily when we started on the property market. 5% mortgage deposits were the norm. If anyone wants to sell their house in the future there has to be a buyer. House prices are falling and more and more people are going to be in negative equity unless the housing market is stimulated. The next phase of the help to buy scheme is intended to help couples just like the one on you and yours. I do think yabu. They were a normal working couple who want to move on.

TheArticFunky · 05/11/2013 07:12

You have to make the most of what you have. I do get annoyed when I hear people going on about spare bedrooms and cloakrooms etc because they are a luxury.

A work colleague is selling her 2 up 2 down because she doesn't have enough room. We live in the same sized space and we are a family of 4.

If people want more space that's fine by me, just don't bang on about it to other people.

bearleftmonkeyright · 05/11/2013 07:22

They weren't "banging on about it". The discussion was about the governments right to buy scheme. The couple were interviewed as a relevant example of wanting to utilize that scheme. I am no fan of the Torys but if that is what our democratically elected government is doing for the people of this country then why is this family being judged on a parenting forum? The discussion was about right to buy, not lets all judge a single family example.

scaevola · 05/11/2013 07:28

The family's housing situation as expressed on national media is being discussed. Not the family.

Otherwise that would mean we couldn't discuss anything except situations described only by child-free sibling-free orphans!

Nothing wrong with wanting a bigger house (look at all the property porn threads!) rather a lot wrong to expect the Government to underpin spare bedrooms for some when it's being deemed excessive for others, leading to reduction in benefits. So I think it's right that it's not part of the scheme.

ALittleBitOfMagic · 05/11/2013 07:32

YANBU . We have an 8yo dd and 1yo ds and we are not legally overcrowded in a wee 2 bed flat . Dcs having their own room is a luxury never mind a spare room !!! Confused

MiaowTheCat · 05/11/2013 09:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monicalewinski · 05/11/2013 10:30

Currently in a 3 bed house (2 children), we are forces and this is our 5th house since DS1 (11) was born.

A couple of houses ago we were 'lucky' enough to get a 4 bed, so had the spare room I always coveted - I am so glad to be back in a 3 bed now, I hated the extra room, it just became a dumping ground and was the bane of my cleaning life!
Similarly with an en suite, we had a new build for one quarter and I was so glad to see the back of the extra bathroom when we moved.

I am most happy when I only have the rooms I need tbh, and I will definitely downsize in the far off future when the kids leave home; I've been lucky to experience that the grass isn't always necessarily greener and then move on.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 05/11/2013 10:36

Our family all lives on the other side (or at the other end) of the country, we need a spare room otherwise DS would hardly ever see his grandparents, his aunts and uncles or any of his cousins. I'm not particularly fussed about bedroom size, but would love more/bigger living spaces, and having another bedroom usually means that bit extra room downstairs, plus more storage space so the living spaces aren't taken up with storing all the stuff (our loft is tiny and pointless). Given the size of bedrooms in newbuilds, I don't think it's unreasonable to want an extra bedroom, and they aren't getting it for free. They still have to pay the money back and pay the mortgage. Given how shite it is to rent in the UK, I don't begrudge anyone a property of their own.

vj32 · 05/11/2013 10:49

We have just moved from a 2 bed modern mid terrace to a bigger house. DS is two and I'm pregnant with DC2.

A big problem with the old house was lack of space - much of our stuff ended up being stored in my parent's garage.

The other main thing was the fact that you couldn't fit in a table big enough to seat three people. So either I ate with DS and DH sat in a different room or the other way around. Unsurprisingly DS wouldn't sit at the table as he would always be running between the two of us. We also couldn't have more than about 2 adults over as there was physically nowhere for them to sit.

But new build houses are even worse - built to maximise the builder's profits with no thought of the families that are going to live in them. Mostly townhouses, with a tiny square of patio at the back, no front garden at all and allocated parking. Even a 4 bed doesn't have enough garden for DS to play. I wouldn't want to buy one of those even with an interest free loan.

Dahlen · 05/11/2013 10:54

I think most people would prefer a spare bedroom if they could. But surely you have to cut your cloth and that's just that. Confused

crystalearl · 05/11/2013 11:21

We live in a 2 bed with one teenage dc - a flat, not a house, so no garden and no loft etc for storage. It's absolutely fine for our needs. I would love a spare room, but it would definitely be a luxury (I'd probably use it as my office/studio). We've had guests stay on the sofabed in our living room - not ideal, but perfectly fine and as we live in quite an expensive area in London, most of them were just happy not to have to pay high hotel prices.

We viewed a lot of flats though with tiny second bedrooms, really designed as spare rooms/storage rather than for a person to sleep there permanently. I've also seen tiny box rooms in both older houses and terraces - they are literally half the size of our second bedroom and we'd struggle to live comfortably somewhere like that.

CissyMeldrum · 05/11/2013 11:28

We have 3 dc and 2 bedrooms ,we own our house but can't afford to move ,so we manage.

Fleta · 05/11/2013 12:07

I don't know really - we lived in a two bed when it was just two of use. Moved to a three bed when we had our DD and now we live in a 6 bed - just the three of us.

I don't think you can judge what people require for their needs. It might not match yours but its just different.