to wonder what people think is acceptable during sick leave?

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I am currently on sick leave after an op, and feel guilty when I go to the supermarket to buy bits with my dh. Should I be housebound? AIBU to feel guilty?

A friend on wonderful FB is currently on sick leave with a bad back, and is posting photos of going to parties, cinema, restaurants etc. AIBU to wonder why she thinks she can do all that stuff whilst being off sick?

I live in fear of being repremanded whilst on sick leave.

What do people think is reasonable?

Blossom if you'd booked a holiday legitimately but then went off sick legitimately, should you have to cancel your holiday? I think that would be pretty unreasonable, frankly - you can't plan for getting ill. A holiday could also be a very good aid to recovery. I think employers need to look at these things on a case by case basis and use common sense, not snoop around on FB and listen to office rumours about who saw whom doing what in Tesco. Fortunately there are a lot of very good employers around as well as bad ones.

I went to Ikea with my DP last week, as I was going mad in the house and he needed to finish a project.

I felt totally guilty, even though I spent most of the time sat in the coffee shop, half dozing in a comfy chair. I think my sticky up hair, pin hole eyes, grey skin and jogging bottoms might have convinced any potential sceptics though!

You are still allowed to live! It's not like popping to Tesco is any fun - and what if you lived on your own?

The only time I've ever seen fb brought into a work situation was when an ex-colleague was off sick with a stress-related illness, but who used his sick leave to set up his own company doing the things he was too sick to do in his job. And posting it all on facebook. That ended up in a disciplinary.

DH was managing someone in a similar situation but because they were posting their leisure activities there was nothing that could be done about it.

There is a limit in most companies - it doesn't sound like you are anywhere near it OP

See if I'm honest I really struggle with one.

The rule for us growing up was if you were ill, you were in bed. No tv, the only thing you could do is read. If you were off school sick on Friday then we were not allowed out all weekend. So that is ingrained in me and I thought that was normal.

I find it very difficult not to judge people for being sick and then off gallivanting as my mother would say.

I recognise though that that's my issue and I just had very strict parents. I'm a lot less judgey now but I still struggle with it.

I always thought being off sick meant being too ill to leave the bed/house - I'm currently off sick for the first time for something different than the flu/bronchitis and I am worried every time I leave the house.

However, I am also aware of colleagues that were off sick recently that still met other colleagues/line manager at coffee shops and went on holiday, so I reckon popping out to the supermarket or getting some fresh air for an hour is reasonable!

I think, as roundtable says, it also depends what you're used to - I'm from Germany originally, there's no such thing as being self-certified over there. First day off, you have to go to your GP to get a doctor's note. And if you've booked a holiday and ended up on long-term sick you'd definitely need the doctor's permission to go.

My mom broke her foot and has a slipped disc, she had a holiday to Spain booked and finally was allowed to go, but didn't get sick pay for the time she was away.

While I agree that recovery does required building up activity, I think it is not at all sensible to be posting on Facebook times you've been out and about.

Particularly if you work in an environment where sickness causes staff shortages and other people are left to pick up the slack, as while you might not get into any official trouble, you might have a lot of disgruntled colleagues.

pointy I agree about case by case basis but in her case she was totally taking the piss. Could not come to work because of balance problems but could fly long haul and go snorkeling.

I know what you mean though about fearing work will find out.

A couple of years ago I was hospitalised. On discharge I was signed off for a week to recuperate. As it was my birthday, we went to the seaside for a couple of days.

I didn't dare mention it at work, just in case!

I was also brought up in a 'if you're ill, you should be in bed' house, and that is probably the only time I have been off work sick, and not been tucked up in bed/ on the sofa with a blanket.

Depends on the reason for sick leave and the duration.

I had 7 weeks off after pneumonia. After coming out of hospital, part of my recommended recouperation was to get out of the house for a short time most days, building up. So I did meet friends for coffee, go to the shops, called in a work for a catch up, and the week before I went back to work - in half term I should add (w0rk in a school) - I did go on a pre arranged holiday.
My HT was aware of all this and actively encouraged it. The infection was taking a long time to shift and my doctor wanted me to start building up slowly. I wasn't up to a full day at work but I was up to being out and about a little bit.
Everyone at work was very supportive though.

Doctors sometimes advise you get away on holiday when sick,if you have depression for eg then it can be good.i find it odd how everyone knows why people are off sick.i expect confidentiality in my workplace.

No idea but while I was at the tills in morrisons the checkout assistant suddenly said 'the cheek of it she's off sick with a bad back' and pointed at this woman laden down with heavey looking bags. Manager saw this and called her to the office on the tanoy. Obviously she didn't have to go but she did. She could have said that she was building herself back up to working or that carrying heavy things for a 5-8 hour shift was still too much strain on her back.

The amount of trouble caused in my old employers was ridiculous from things like why people are off sick.for some reason everyone liked to comment on it and speculate that these people arent ill etc etc

As an employer, I always find it interesting when I have team members phone in sick and then I hear from someone else or on their Facebook that they've been as x's party, to Thorpe park, night clubs etc. or the best was actually came in drinking to our pub! They usually lose a few hours when they get back.

If I met someone in the supermarket or whatever then I'd ask them how they were getting on, I know from personal experience having a toddler and an OH who works, life still goes on when you are ill and households still need to run!

I'm actually off sick at the minute with hyperemesis and I have been out occasionally, when OH hasn't been around to do necessary things, but not for dinner or anything!

I am currently on sick leave as I had a miscarriage last week. I was signed off for 2 weeks, standard time for natural miscarriage. However I have a 2 year old and only work part time, so my 'non work' days are exactly the same. I am still going to toddler groups etc, as I feel it's unfair to my DD otherwise.

This morning I bumped into 2 parents whos children I teach, they will no doubt be surprised when I don't turn up at parents evening this week or teach their child for the next 2 weeks, but I know in myself I need the time.

I guess what I am saying is I think the only people who would judge are the people who are fortunate enough to never have had anything difficult or bad happen to them. They rest of us know that the world is very different on the inside and the out.

I have just returned to work after two weeks off with a neck problem (ie I couldn't move the bloody thing!).

Anyway I'm the only adult in my house and I still had to take my DS to school, pick him up again, pick shopping up for both of us etc.

I did feel guilty about being in the supermarket though. It's ridiculous but some people do think that if you are signed off as sick then you should be in bed all day and not out buying food etc.

When DS was in reception, he was off with D&V, but we met one of his teachers on the street when we were out buying some coke to help with his diarrhoea. She probably thought he wasn't ill, who knows?

I'm in a country (not UK) where you can't self-sign for even one day, you have to have a sick note. On the sick note they tell you what hours you have to be at home, in case of a random check.

From memory you have to be in from 9 - 12 and 2 - 6pm. I think. Unless you have a good reason to be out (e.g. Drs appointment)

I had back surgery for the second time 14 weeks ago, and sitting is on of the worst things you can do. Reclining is better as then all your discs aren't piled one on top of the other, and I've also been advised to not lift anything heavy- ie shopping. Driving is also an issue as I'm on maximum amounts of codeine and sleeping tablets which can leave me very groggy.ive refused all invites till I'm better, personally I think it's bad form to be doing anything you don't need to be doing, apart from recovering.

I'm struggling with this at the minute as I slipped a disc 3 weeks ago and it's by no means "fixed" yet. The doctor has signed me off work for another week, as one of my jobs is a 7 hour shift, standing behind a till, kind of stooped so as to see the computer screens iykwim, with not a hope in hells chance of them letting me have a break or rest when I need to. My other job, however, is in the local shop, 20 yards from my front door. I do an hour or two a day, can sit down if I want, and if I tell the owner I'm in pain, she sends me straight home. I'm still working in that job, yet I know I can't manage the 7 hour shift one. I can just about manage the school run, and a wander round the block with the dog, but more than 15-20 minutes slow walking and I'm bend over, hobbling again.

There's a difference between long and short term sick leave though.

Long term sick leave is where capability/suitability for the job on an ongoing basis begin to weigh in as factors - if you're not getting better, and continue to be off sick, an employer can assess whether you will ever (likely) return/be well enough to work, and you can be fired on the basis that you are no longer capable of doing that work.

For short-term sick leave, this is obviously not a factor. Everyone gets sick! Life goes on. I presume, OP, that you have a reasonably well-defined recovery period? In which case your employers would treat this as short-term sick leave, and you have nothing to worry about.

I was off work after a ruptured appendix & went to a "pop" concert. I had the tickets for a year beforehand and was not going to miss it. Unfortunately I was not able to get up and dance for longer than about 60 seconds at a time so missed a lot due to not being able to see as most people around me were standing.

I was petrified of being spotted by someone at work but I wasn't well enough to work at that time.

It depends. I had 2 weeks off after an op, doctors orders. The main problem was getting to work - I had to use London public transport (super-crowded) and could not risk being pushed / bashed in the stomach (doctor's advice). However, I was not literally in bed sick the whole time and by the second week I was out and about visiting family and friends (but not gallivanting into central London on the tube at rush hour.......). I did not feel guilty.

A friend has recently been off sick for a few weeks with stress/anxiety. She went on holiday during that time, which she said she needed to help her stress, but it didn't go down very well with the colleagues who were covering her work while she was away........

It depends, just do whatever you feel up to doing. Life can't stop can it.

However don't do what a colleague of mine did - was off sick all week but made a miraculous recovery at 7pm to come to the works christmas do, and got rat arsed.