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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse to view a house if I have to remove my shoes?

406 replies

iliketea · 04/11/2013 09:01

I'm happy to be told IABU....

We are currently house hunting. A few of the houses we've requested to view have asked us to remove our shoes at the door. At that point, I've said I'm not viewing a house in my socks and stopped the viewin before it's even started if the shoe thing is non-negotiable.

AIBU? it's not that i mind taking my shoes off when I'm visiting a friend - and generally do take my shoes in friends homes, but I find it weird that if you are trying to sell your house that you expect viewers to take their shoes off.

Or am I likely to miss a really great house and just suck it up / make sure i've got non-holey, matching socks wheb we go to view a house?

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 04/11/2013 19:02

my friend is HT of a new primary school - about 6 yrs old - they decided from the off a "no outside shoes" rule - obviously outside visitors are probably not expected to bring slippers with them, but the kids and staff wear either plimsoles or slippers, leaving wet shoes/boots in the cloakroom - consequently, the carpets are still almost immaculate now, and since children spend a lot of time sitting on the carpets, this can only be a good thing

I also think that removing your shoes if asked to in SOMEONE ELSES home, is just good manners, for all the many reasons listed above.

phantomnamechanger · 04/11/2013 19:06

Oh and another thing, a HCP or someone visiting your home in a professional capacity is likely to come in, sit down, then leave again - viewing a house for sale is completely different in that you will traipse through EVERY room, including kids bedrooms - surely MOST people have a "no shoes on upstairs" rule don't they, cos that's where kiddies run about barefooted after a bath so you want the carpets clean?

justanuthermanicmumsday · 04/11/2013 19:18

Outtolunchagain: You're so classy that shoes on is better than shoes off if you want to talk hygiene shoes off is definitely better. You live in the country so no dog poo? I'd say more horse, cow and sheep poo, sounds worse. So I'm of a lower class because I prefer no outdoor shoes in my house? Lool

Anyway I don't think this is a hygiene question like someone else said its manners and adhering to the rules of owners home. Said owner wants you to remove them you should or leave.

CoteDAzur · 04/11/2013 19:20

"the idea of some stranger walking around my house in socks possibly spreading verrucas or fungal infections makes me feel positively queazy "

Because, obviously, that is how skin infections spread - over someone's socks Hmm

"Unfortunately a class issue , akin to saying pardon and using a toilet"

Shock
BlingBang · 04/11/2013 19:24

Class issue? I grew up on a council estate and it was definitely shoes on. And council estates had dog shit everywhere.

outtolunchagain · 04/11/2013 19:24

I didn't say I was classy just that it is a class issue , I went to a school where using either pardon or toilet was social suicide and probably a punishment issue Blush, asking people to take shoes off was regarded exactly the same , I suppose it stems from the days when people had servants to clean and asking people to take shoes off to save you cleaning the floor showed you didn't have staff.

And yes socks are permeable and verrucas are a virus and can spread that way, fungal infections cause skin to flake and the spores will easily spread through wool.

Bettercallsaul1 · 04/11/2013 19:44

I think the whole "class issue" is a red herring - at best, simply a coincidence. People are just getting fussier about keeping their homes clean, pleasant and hygienic. And why not? There is an upward march in health generally and keeping needless dirt (especially animal poo) out of your living space is just a part of that.

Also people, understandably, want to keep their homes aesthetic and comfortable so they can sprawl on their - usually light-coloured - carpets without noticing grey and discoloured patches springing up.

This thread shows that the whole taking-off-shoes thing is now quite customary in some areas but is far from universal.

GrendelsMum · 04/11/2013 19:48

OutToLunchAgain - my mum would agree with you, but another relative remembers having 'indoor' and 'outdoor' shoes and routinely changing from one to the other, so I'm not entirely sure on that one.

ChipAndSpud · 04/11/2013 19:53

DH is back home and I asked him "what's the first thing you do when you go to someone's house?"

DH replied "take my shoes off".

If it's some sort of class thing that I've never heard of, I'm from a working class family and grew up in a council house. Please can someone explain what the class issue is?

As for some of the comments about people who have a 'no shoes indoors' policy having dirty floors...I beg to differ! DM hoovered the house every day and mopped the kitchen floor at night before bed and she had a 'no shoes' policy'! DM says she doesn't mind untidiness but she hates dirtiness!

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 04/11/2013 19:53

I don't think yabu, I'd do the same!

jessieagain · 04/11/2013 19:56

Yanbu

But you might miss out on a great house. Your choice.

The current occupants have the right to ask people to remove shoes.

APartridgeAmongThePigeons · 04/11/2013 19:58

YANBU, please leave the clean houses available for thoe who would appreciate them!

whatever5 · 04/11/2013 19:58

People used to keep their shoes on in the UK because houses were cold. Nowadays houses are much warmer so generally people can take their shoes off without their feet freezing. Why create more housework by walking around the house with dirty shoes on?

GrendelsMum · 04/11/2013 19:59

Well, according to my mum (former anthropologist who's always fascinated by the British class system), for some reason during the early-mid 20th century it was seen as lower class to wear slippers in the house, or, by extension, to take your shoes off in a house. As OutToLunch says, perhaps because it showed you had to take care of your carpets, or that you valued your possessions, or that you had to clean your own home.

But as I say, a (posher) elderly relative does remember changing into indoor shoes when coming home from school as a boy, so I think there may have been some nuances around that.

LaGuardia · 04/11/2013 20:01

Entitled. YABU.

fanoftheinvisibleman · 04/11/2013 20:01

It is your choice and to be honest as a vendor I'd be quite pleased to be able to weed out a likely candidate for being being a pain in the arse before you made it through my door!

outtolunchagain · 04/11/2013 20:05

Definitely remember indoor and outdoor shoes , we had to have two pairs at least at every school I went to , but you certainly didn't ask visitors your home to take their shoes off .But then if it was a very wet day I might have spare shoes with me and go in back door , I would never knowingly tramp mud into a house and can't imagine why someone would think I would .

ChipAndSpud · 04/11/2013 20:06

Proud to be working class and take my shoes off Grin

I'm finding this thread fascinating with the range if opinions!

GrendelsMum · 04/11/2013 20:07

I suspect indoor shoes were for children?

Spikeytree · 04/11/2013 20:08

My mother has to have her shoes built up due to disability making one leg a lot shorter than the other. She cannot walk without shoes on.

BadgersRetreat · 04/11/2013 20:13

FYI - If you ever come to Canada bring your slippers - EVERYONE takes their shoes off

When we were house hunting for a new house even the show homes all were shoes off for viewing - complete with a sign asking you to do so.

Tradesmen either bring an 'indoor' pair with them or those overshoe things, or just take them off. No question of keeping them on.

outtolunchagain · 04/11/2013 20:14

Definitely remember indoor and outdoor shoes , we had to have two pairs at least at every school I went to , but you certainly didn't ask visitors your home to take their shoes off .But then if it was a very wet day I might have spare shoes with me and go in back door , I would never knowingly tramp mud into a house and can't imagine why someone would think I would .

frogspoon · 04/11/2013 20:16

YABU, they want to keep their carpets clean to entice prospective buyers.

Although maybe it would be nice if they provided some disposable slippers (yes, apparently some people do this!)

Higgledyhouse · 04/11/2013 20:17

YABU and a little petty. The vendors care about their carpets, they probably cost a small fortune and want their house to look as nice as possible for up and coming viewings. I would just assume you had no intention of buying the house if you refused to view it on those terms.

atomicyoghurt · 04/11/2013 20:21

YABU and frankly absurd. Do you want to buy a house?

I just sold my house and insisted on shoes off after some LOVELY viewer walked dog shit in and all around the ground floor of my house. I've got 3 young kids and came home after the viewing to find it all there waiting for me. NICE. Sure they must have noticed it when they did it, but hey, they wanted to keep their shoes on so screw me.

Estate agent had to pay for all my carpets to be cleaned. But of course it was me on my hands and knees scrubbing the carpet when I got home just so my kids could come in.

You will miss out on a house if you won't take your shoes off. I've looked at over 40 houses in the last 8 months finding one to buy, and yes, I took my shoes off in every single one. It's not your house. Have a bit of respect will you?