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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish house guests would bring their own towels?

141 replies

Isthisstormcomingorwhat · 03/11/2013 20:08

Just had guests to stay this weekend. They used four towels between two of them, and as we don't have a tumble dryer I now have four towels plus a set of bed linen hanging up to dry in the house.

Would it be unreasonable to ask future guests to bring their own towels (assuming they are driving and not travelling by public transport in which case I appreciate they might not want to carry too much with them).

Love having guests to stay, hate all the washing!

OP posts:
PicardyThird · 04/11/2013 07:47

I wouldn't dream of expecting guests to bring their own towels - and I don't have a tumble dryer either, and our outside space is so shady and sheltered that things don't dry outside unless the air is warm.

Our cat/flat sitter (who always stays in our flat when we go away) refuses to use the towels we provide for her, for some reason. She always brings her own. It offends me a little bit tbh.

FergusSingsTheBlues · 04/11/2013 07:52

I'd be offended if somebody couldn't be bothered to provide me with a piece of material for drying myself.....it's not exactly a lot to do for anybody. Four guests. Two towels each...it's only one load of washing?

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 04/11/2013 08:06

Oh yes just pop to the launderette
Easy as that
I hate these threads. Often people don't consider that how they live is not the same as how everyone else lives.
My nearest launderette is 6 miles and I don't drive ffs

As for the towels, I only ever have people I am close to to stay. Close enough that I wouldn't feel embarrassed to ask them to bring something as a simple as a towel if need be. And I doubt they would be offended because they love me.

FergusSingsTheBlues · 04/11/2013 08:23

I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that most people have a washing machine.

And yes, really with the hassle of packing two babies etc into a car, Id be sure to forget some trifle like towels.

And yes, it's really no big deal IF YOU HAVE A WASHING MACHINE OF COURSE. You have to do a wash for the sheets anyway.

kiriwAnyFuckerwa · 04/11/2013 08:37

I've just calculated that if I'd washed 2 towels per guest over the half term, I'd have washed 4 towels a day every single day. My guests would rather I came out with them on outings I think, rather than saying we can't get going until the washing machine has finished.

Incidentally, I'm not talking about people with babies, or friends who have been invited - I'm talking about adult members of my family :)

whois · 04/11/2013 08:39

It seems like such a waste of a clean towel using it for one night only. I always put out towels and bedding for guests, but I'm also happy to take towels, and bedding if going by car.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 04/11/2013 08:39

Fergus I don't think it's the washing the op has a problem with, it's the drying.

YesterdayI · 04/11/2013 08:43

I would be offended if my friends thought if get the hump if they asked me to bring a towel.
If I was staying at friends I wouldn't want them to be unduly put out and, as friends, I would hope they would feel comfortable asking me if I could bring my own towels.

Oriunda · 04/11/2013 08:47

Why do you need a tumble dryer? I don't have one. Line dry everything. Obviously there are rain days but I tend to wait for a dry/windy day to do laundry.

deepfriedsage · 04/11/2013 08:50

I have always brought my own towels. I supplied towels to guests and seethed with all the extra washing. I find using others towels to dry your private area quite gross. Despite being washed at high temperatures all I think is my cousins/friends block rubbed his bollocks on my towels and I am stuck with washing drying towels on top.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 04/11/2013 08:56

Oriunda
I think that depends on an individual's situation again.
There is six of us, two with nocturnal enuresis and one still in nighttime nappies. If I didn't do at least two loads of washing a day I would be scuppered. Having said that four extra towels would just vanish into the pit of washing I have to do. But if the op says it's difficult for her to get them dry I believe them because not everyone's situations are the same.

deepfriedsage · 04/11/2013 09:01

Bedding is light and less bulky to wash and dr , people wear PJ's so not rubbed against private areas and something I have never been worried about, its the nature of towels. I just want to gag picking up others towels, you could find skids or period on them its a health risk, bring your own towel people.

joeymacc · 04/11/2013 09:03

I wouldn't be offended at being asked to bring towels (as long as you didn't get stroppy if I forgot ;) ). My mom asks us to bring our own towels if we stay with her for one night - her washing machine is on about twice a day already, so an extra load of towels plus sheets is a big deal. So no problem with being asked at all (but it wouldn't occur to me to bring my own if I wasn't asked to).

Beastofburden · 04/11/2013 09:08

If I was a single person with a small amount of packing, a car and a tumble dryer at home, then maybe, if you asked me to and said you couldnt keep up with all the washing, well, OK. Though it would be the first time ever that i've been asked.

if I was a fellow mother with several kids, not enough room in the car as it is, and a million things to remember, I would be irritated. Also, if I was coming by train, because then I'd have to pack the damp used towel in my suitcase and it would make everything else a bit manky.

Would you be prepared to take towels for your whole family if you were going to stay somewhere? and bring them back, damp and used, with your other clothes?

YABU to put the work off onto someone else. It isn't magically any less trouble for them to wash and dry their towels. And it is a pain to pack damp stuff.

mitchsta · 04/11/2013 09:16

We had people to stay over the weekend too. I put 2 towels on the bed and shoved them both in the wash with all the bedding yesterday. I don't have a tumble dryer but one extra load of washing hasn't been a huge inconvenience. I wouldn't have asked these guests to bring their own towels because they'd have had to pack the wet towels in with all their stuff before getting the train home. Have more guests staying this weekend so it'll mean even more washing, but that's part and parcel of having people to stay.

samandi · 04/11/2013 09:16

YABU to expect house guests to bring their own towels. I've never heard of such a thing Confused

YANBU to think four towels is excessive. Each guest gets one towel in this household. Unless they're staying longer than a weekend, of course.

Plus YABU to think that drying four towels plus bed linen is an incredible chore. It isn't really.

YesterdayI · 04/11/2013 09:28

If someone was travelling by public transport or flying then, of course, it would be unreasonable to ask them to bring their own towels but if the visitors are travelling by car and are returning to their own home afterwards then it's hardly inconvenient for them

Beastofburden · 04/11/2013 11:37

Would the OP do the same? Would she take all the towels for her own family, if she went to stay somewhere? indeed, does she already offer to do that?

It does just seem very inhospitable to me.

valiumredhead · 04/11/2013 11:49

Yes I think you definitely should ask them to bring towels, also their own bed sheets and food, that way you won't have to do a thing.

JohnnyBarthes · 04/11/2013 12:50

Anyone taking offence at being asked, really ought to be asking themselves why they've accepted an invitation in the first place.

Be a gracious host by all means, but also be a gracious guest (aka a friend).

ephemeralfairy · 04/11/2013 13:09

I take a towel with me as a matter of course but that's cause I am all weird about germs (ishoos!) but if someone asked me to I'd be a bit put out...

ephemeralfairy · 04/11/2013 13:11

Unless they had OCD-ihs fears themselves of course, in which case I'd understand totally!

BackforGood · 04/11/2013 13:16

I am absolutely stunned at the response on this thread.

If I were packing an overnight bag, or if my dh were or if any of my dc were, or my sister or her family or my brother or his family, then it would contain......
PJs/nightware, slippers, (maybe dressing gown - depends on other varients), clean clothes for the next day, hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, towel, deodorant, and a gift for the host. It's just part of what we would all, automatically do. dh has had to train himself to not take a towel when he's staying in a hotel for work.

Yet another "thing" I've discovered on MN, that I never knew was a "thing - being offended if your guest is trying to be helpful Shock

diddl · 04/11/2013 13:21

Did you put out 4 towels for them?

In which case they probably thought it was OK to use them all?

spookySwitched · 04/11/2013 13:33

Isn't it normal to use two towels after a shower ? 1 for your hair and 1 for your body? I can't be the only person who always uses 2 towels (can I??)

I have to admit that I was would just put the towels on the radiator to dry and reused them (unlesss they were obviously dirty). Same with the bed sheets, they would have stayed on the bed too.