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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is dh being UR regarding tv shows?

17 replies

stephaniejones · 03/11/2013 19:20

I am currently laid up in bed. My 8 year old asked for my help so I went down to help him, to see the tv in the lounge was paused.

I looked at the info on it out of curiosity and it was called Under the Dome and is a stephen king series, having googled it's broadcast at 10pm at night.

I said to my dh was the tv age appropriate and he said it was age appropriate for him (as in h not ds) and I said 6.30 on a Sunday evening I don't think it's fair on ds to be banished from the downstairs. My ds said he was fine I said no wonder he was sat on the stairs he was bored.

H is now sulking as he can never watch anything he wants to watch and why can't he watch his tv.

So as not to drip feed - my h stopped coming to bed a couple of years ago and sleeps on the couch as he wants to watch films all night long. This has been a big contention for us as I say that says he prefers the tv to me. So now bringing his tv into Sunday afternoon and banishing the kids from downstairs is unreasonable right?

OP posts:
DameFanny · 03/11/2013 19:21

Yep, totally U. Does he have any good points?

ilovepowerhoop · 03/11/2013 19:23

we don't watch adult programmes/child inappropriate stuff unless the kids are in bed and wouldn't watch it during the weekends if the kids were about so yes he is unreasonable

SESthebrave · 03/11/2013 19:25

He is BVU!

I would not be happy with DH watching programmes inappropriate for DC if they were around.
I also would feel offended if he chose to routinely sleep on the couch so that he could watch films!

Since having DC, I don't watch nearly the amount of TV that I used to. I accept that I have other priorities now.

Original poster
stephaniejones · 03/11/2013 19:26

He's addicted to the tv, it's his only vice. He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't gamble, is a hardworking man, and will go out and about with the family.

But is addicted to the tv. Sky plus in my opinion was the worse thing invented.

OP posts:
Thurlow · 03/11/2013 19:26
Hmm

I might be jumping in early with this but... he now sleeps on the sofa because he'd rather watch telly all night long than sleep in the same bed as his wife? Does he get up in time for work in the morning?

In this case, he is DBU. Under the Dome is not age appropriate to watch with kids around.

maddy68 · 03/11/2013 19:26

Tbh under the dome is not scary or explicit. It's just sci Fi I don't think I have seen anything graphic other than the very first opening sequence which they insist in repeating where the done comes down and chops everything, including a cow in 1/2

I think there are bigger issues here than one programme tbh your relationship needs sorting not necessarily your viewing habits!

Original poster
stephaniejones · 03/11/2013 19:28

Yes he gets up on time to go to work, but used to moan about being tired, and I pointed out that there is a link between the two, and so he doesn't moan about it now but he is in a constant state of exhaustion.

OP posts:
Rollermum · 03/11/2013 19:29

Wow both the banishing of DS and staying downstairs are both VU. I'd be annoyed / concerned he seems to want to watch so much TV instead of interacting with family generally.

Rollermum · 03/11/2013 19:30

Also haven't sen Under the Done but the book had some pretty nasty bits.

Original poster
stephaniejones · 03/11/2013 19:31

He even says there are not enough hours to watch all the programmes he wants to watch. I've tried explaining to him that's not that he isn't given enough time to watch tv - 9pm-6am is ample viewing hours! - it's that he has so many series that he wants to watch.

The sky box is full of his recorded programmes and he moans that he can't fit anymore on to it and somehow this is his family's fault Hmm

OP posts:
bellablot · 03/11/2013 19:33

How old is this man? 14? He'd rather watch the tele then go to bed with his wife?Shock I think this is the issue here. YANBU however to expect him not to watch inappropriate things with DC in the same room.

Strumpetron · 03/11/2013 19:34

He's sounds very strange.

Don't get me wrong I love my tv series, but he's obsessed!

Hassled · 03/11/2013 19:37

It's not so much that he's being unreasonable (he clearly is) - it's that he seems to have some sort of obsession/compulsion with TV. TV addiction is a recognisable thing - this Wiki page has some links which may be useful. But as with all addictions, I guess he has to acknowledge it's a problem first.

Picturesinthefirelight · 03/11/2013 19:37

Get rid of Sky plus then. Seriously we have never had it - it's not compulsory. We watch programmes when they are broadcast & if we are out on I player. We have now got a DVD recorder but I can't operate it.

Thurlow · 03/11/2013 20:26

I have to say this does sound like there is a massive problem, though christ knows how you approach it.

To be sympathetic, I love my TV and also tape a lot of series, so it's not random watching, it's specific watching. Similarly, DP loves computer games. Quite often we will have dinner together and a chat, then I'll be downstairs watching telly and MNetting and he'll be upstairs playing computer games for an hour or two. We're happy with this - but we generally go to bed together. A few times in the long time we've been together DP has got a new computer game he's got mildly obsessed with and stayed up late playing, but if it's made him tired and grumpy the next day we've had swift words and he's reigned it in.

Having said all that, if DP started sleeping in the spare room every night so that he could play more computer games, I would honestly be setting ultimatums and if it didn't improve, I'd be telling him to get lost. There's nothing wrong with having different interests, even in the house - but not sharing the same bed simply for the reason that he wants to watch more telly is really pretty bad.

What does your DH do at the weekend? Does he get up and willingly do family things, spend time with the DC?

Original poster
stephaniejones · 03/11/2013 22:04

Yes he gets up spends time with the family out and about does chores round the house. That's why it's so difficult a he says TV is only thing he does for himself true he's never out with mates without me etc he's just not into that. I think I need to see if we can get it down to 3 nights a week.

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 03/11/2013 22:12

That's very sad. And obviously YANBU about the age inappropriate show. I'm not averse to DCs having to play on their own but I would never have something on that meant the DCs couldn't be in the living room Hmm

I will admit though that having TV on to sleep can be incredibly addictive. I took years to get out of it myself - throughout my teens I could not sleep without a VHS/DVD on all night long (so if I woke up and it had finished I would put it back on again). It sounds like he's in a major rut but he won't change it until he wants to :(

Would it help to tell him that light from TV can mess up night time melatonin production, which in turn increases cancer risk..?

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