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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To judge the way my mum manages her dogs - letting off steam

19 replies

Yermina · 03/11/2013 18:09

My mum has always had rescue dogs. Odd little terriers usually. Sadly her 'parenting' skills as a dog owner leave much to be desired, which results in her dogs becoming even more dysfunctional and irritating over the years she has them. Some of the things she does:

  • rewards them for jumping all over her/everyone as they come through the front door by giving them biscuits EVERY TIME she comes into the house. And usually when anyone else comes into the house. She insists that you greet them first. Result? The dogs indulge in frenzied barking and hurling themselves all over everyone as they come through the front door.
  • gives them titbits off her plate/your plate/out her mouth while she's sat at the dinner table, so all her dogs have been hideous nuisances at the table. My very greedy Labrador has never been given a share of our meals, and knows better than to beg at the table. If I go to my mum's she insists on feeding my dog off her plate and encouraging her to beg. Aaargh! And then allows them to lick the plates clean after we've finished eating. boak!.
  • takes her insane staffie/jack Russell/Christ knows what cross out without a muzzle. Dog isn't usually aggressive with humans but has on more than one occasion launched itself on someone elses dog without any provocation. My mum insists it's the other dog's fault EVERY TIME.
  • smacks them (not violently, but still....) when they are doing the things she's bloody well encouraged them to do (like jumping up, barking and stealing food) with her bad dog handling

She also insists that they get the best seats in the sitting room, and gets miffed if you move them off the sofa or chair. The result is that when you go to move them they growl at you.....

She can't accept that a dog is a dog is a dog, and needs to be treated as such. She thinks I'm hard about my dog because I make it sleep downstairs, don't allow it on the sofa, and don't give it something to eat every time I give myself something to eat. And the weird thing is, that my dog is very well behaved, EXCEPT towards my mother. My mother is the only one my dog 'mugs' when she comes in the house. (by mug I mean my dog is all over her, bugging her, sniffing in her handbag, shoving her nose into my mums hand, jumping up).

I think rescue centres should insist that people who take dogs do a short course on the basics of dog behaviour, and make them understand that if they treat their dogs like children, they're going to end up with a really dysfunctional animal.

Ah, rant over.

That feels better. Smile

OP posts:
specialsubject · 03/11/2013 18:16

good for you. Smile

is she aware of the tightening up on dog laws to come? If her dogs attack someone she will be in trouble. If she sticks to little dogs they can't kill anything except a baby, but they can still inflict nasty bites.

I suppose you could contact the rescue centre and get her stopped from taking any more. I also wish her long life and good health, because if her dogs outlive her they won't be rehome-able.

Greyhorses · 03/11/2013 18:21

I don't have any tips for you however I share your pain. My MIL has 4 of her 'baby' poodles running around her house like wild animals. They steal from plates, bark constantly, wee and poo wherever they like,bite, fight and growl constantly. I have been bitten twice trying to move them to sit down on a sofa as each dog has it's own seat. She treats them like babies kissing and cuddling them every time they do something wrong as they are upset.

Now I get the rage every time I go anywhere near her house. She actually calls my own (very well behaved) german shepherds dangerous due to the size, mine would never dream of hurting anyone and are the most laid back pair you could meet! I wish she would treat hers like dogs not mini people....and now she is arguing about grandchildren never being allowed in her house as my own dogs are apparently more dangerous than hers so why not.

Sorry, I am joining in your rant not helping!!

Yanbu!!!!!

Yermina · 03/11/2013 18:26

specialsubject - you are so right. I can't bear the thought of having to take her dogs on. And nobody in their right mind would take them. One of them is a springer spaniel which is completely deranged. It barks NON STOP when she's out the house. And steals food out of children's hands. Sad

Greyhorses - poodles are very intelligent aren't they, and therefore even riper for fucking up. Shock

OP posts:
Objection · 03/11/2013 18:26

My MIL dog is clearly alpha in the house, it drives me mad he's a complete shit

LividofLondon · 03/11/2013 22:08

"I think rescue centres should insist that people who take dogs do a short course on the basics of dog behaviour..."

Absolutely!
My neighbours had a neurotic border collie that they had from a pup. They successfully trained it to be scared of traffic and other dogs (and god knows what else) because of mistimed/accidental rewarding/comforting. When that dog died they got another BC pup which, at 5 months, already "doesn't like other dogs"! This they said was because she was "attacked" by a Labrador, but of course they have done nothing to help, eg taking pup to socialisation classes so it meets lots of friendly dogs. They're nice people but so clueless it makes me want to spit Angry

Strumpetron · 03/11/2013 23:13

Are they happy? Is she happy? Has/is it doing anyone any harm?

To be honest the only things I object strongly too is her smacking them, and her not getting their behaviour whilst out under control (muzzles aren't always the answer by the way)

The rest is just how she choses to treat her animals, she babies them and it's her prerogative as long as it's harming no-one.

I'd rather that then them have been put down because no-one wanted them.

ScarerStratton · 03/11/2013 23:22
DIddled · 03/11/2013 23:24

She is creating huge issues and potentially danger to humans and other dogs with her behaviour, you are right to be concerned.

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 03/11/2013 23:28

Yup, I'd be raging too. Daft way to treat them.

MatryoshkaDoll · 03/11/2013 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Strumpetron · 03/11/2013 23:35

It's surprising how many idiots people feed their dogs chocolate :(

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 03/11/2013 23:51

A tiny bit every now and then won't do much harm. Feeding it to them every day though, yes, idiotic.

We should bring back dog licences. And when you apply for one you are automatically enrolled on a dog training course. If you don't attend your licence is revoked and someone comes and takes your dog away. Would provide jobs for wardens and administrators and dog trainers. Would result in less dangerous dogs and idiotic owners.

DorsetLass · 03/11/2013 23:57

Totally agree with your frustration - do you have small children that are ever near her dogs? I would be anxious the dogs could easily turn and bite if that's how they are behaving.

runawaysimba · 04/11/2013 00:04

Lord, my dad treats his cocker spaniel like this. He's a lovely dog, but I'd never have DD anywhere near him unsupervised. I was visiting once (live overseas) and the dog got on the couch next to me while I was eating tea and growled threateningly when I told him to get down. Dad says "you don't want to get between a dog and his food." It was MY food!!!

Objection · 04/11/2013 11:34

Feeding dogs chocolate drives me mad - why? why feed your dog chocolate?! They're eating it because they are greedy, not because they actually enjoy it! Surely giving a dog meat, or an actual dog treat is more of a reward?

MIL does this as well - feeds the dog whole quality street (its a terrier).
Disgusting. (and a waste of chocolate!)

SilverApples · 04/11/2013 11:37

I thought chocolate was very bad for dogs?

Hercy · 04/11/2013 12:03

It is silverapples, it's poisonous to them. But it depends on how much they have v size of the dog as to whether it would actually do them any harm. If my dog (a big lab) managed to snaffle a regular sized chocolate bar from somewhere, I wouldn't immediately race to the vets (unless he was showing signs of illness) because he's big enough for it not to do harm as a one off. If he was a chihuahua on the other hand, I'd be straight on the phone to the vets.

SilverApples · 04/11/2013 12:21

I do think that owning a dog and having to do a training and welfare course is a good idea. They should introduce it for parents and children too.
Our local vets has a weekly puppy socialisation evening for pups that haven't had their jabs yet, they play and investigate and have toys and the owners mix and chat too, refreshments provided. The owners learn as well as the puppies.

Tulip26 · 04/11/2013 12:26

Buy her a copy of "Ceaser's Way" by Ceaser Milan for Christmas! Dogs aren't small people, they're dogs and need to be treated as such.

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